I (17F) have completed orientation & training for a part-time position at a care home. I’ve filled out all the paperwork, put through the tax forms, and my first shift is tomorrow morning. We discussed future plans, moving into a different part of the company (which I’m interested in) once I turn 18 (in March).
However, my parents have now told me I cannot work this job. I can’t convince them to change their minds. I feel horrible. This position had a lengthy application process, and I feel just awful for wasting their time.
What do I do? How do I tell them;“oh yeah, I’m quitting!” On DAY ONE! The first day! I was genuinely excited to do this, and be part of the team.
I’d appreciate any advice and/or help.
Comments
Tell them that some family issues have come up, apologize for all the inconvenience. Not sure why your parents are against it, maybe have them have a talk with the director or HR with their concerns? Either way, just offer your parents the option, if they say no, just contact the facility and explain that it’s no longer an option for you to work. Say you’re sorry and thank them for their time. You’ll most likely get blacklisted but lucky for you, this kind of job has high turnover they’ll forget who you are in a few weeks
Do not quit ! You’ll regret it ! You’re old enough to have your own job n income. Do not let them make you quit !
Did they give you a reason why ?
Tell them if they make you quit they have to start paying into social security and Medicaid for you.
I’m so sorry. Try to establish a rapport with the person you speak with so that you can get a job with them again next year:) xx
How bold are you?
Don’t quit. Go to work.
Parents are setting you up for failure. They can’t take care of their own house without you? How are you going to pay for things if you don’t work? Are they going to give you money? Definitely don’t quit, tell them you want this job and you need to get real world experience and earn your own money. Tell them your going to keep the job and if you start falling behind or can’t keep up at that point you’ll quit.
Why do they want you to quit? What will they do to stop you? And can you live with a friend?
You’re still a minor so explaining to them that your parents have suddenly forbidden you from getting a job is understandably out of your control. Being honest and direct about it may even allow you an opportunity to follow up with them when you turn 18, though they may be unwilling to take on the risk on you a second time it can’t hurt to say you’re still interested in working for them in the future.
that really does suck for you but the fact is you were just the best choice and 2nd best is potentially as good as you are but had some reason or another why they didnt choose them, i’m sorry your folks are doing that to you, please do call the place and let them know, if for some reason you ever need a refference they might still give you one in the future
it’s nice you’re going with you’re parents wishes but it’s important to get some work experience before going to college or a trade school to get used to a work grind, could you tell us why your parents are against it, if i had any kids especially a daughter i’d be incredibly proud, so if they didn’t say i will thank you for being mature enough to want to take control of your life and earn your own money rather than depend on your folks, your a good kid
Make your parents write a letter saying they’re not letting you work it, so that you can tell the place you really intended to but don’t have the luxury of refusing your parents.
Also, ask your parents if you could work it during vacations like Christmas break and summer. If they say yes (which they should if it’s really about your education) then you can offer to come in and help out at those times. Chances are, they could use the help over Christmas especially.
They may be forgiving if you work extra hard and help with the chores while Keeping up the grades. How do u do caregiving? Are u going to health professions?
Now’s the time to put your foot down. Don’t be afraid! They definitely will try to intimidate you by screaming and crying, but you must hold firm! Don’t let their behavior change your mind. State some irrefutable facts. Maybe agree on a trial period where you’ll evaluate your grades after working a few weeks. Tell them you’re an adult and legally will be on your birthday which isn’t that far off and then you’ll do what you want anyway (make sure you have a temporary place to stay with friends or family just in case).
What will they do if you go to work?
How strange i was pushed to get a part time job when I was younger I also worked in a care home on the weekend mornings 8 till 12pm cleaning when I was around age 15 and then when I was 16 I worked in a bakery for full day saturday and the occasional Sunday.
If you can avoid it, don’t quit. If there isn’t any way to do that, tell them the truth, that your parents won’t allow it, and ask if you can stay in touch and apply with them when you are free to do so.
They want to financially manipulate you. Keep the job and just keep doing what you’re doing. Stay focus and move forward. Asian parents do this all the time, not sure what yours are but it’s the basic Asian parents playbook to keep your child dependent so you can dictate what they do with their life
Your parents are using you. I have read your replies, they want a live in servant to do the things they are supposed to be doing. They are making you take on and do the responsible parent jobs/roles around the house and using a non issue as an excuse to try and convince you that its in your best interest.
You have lazy, selfish parents and this WILL NOT magically stop once you turn 18, thats just a convient excuse they can use now, but its BS, you get good grades, you help more than most children around the house AND with your siblings which arent and shouldnt be your responsibility.
Parents or not, these people are going to burden your life if you keep letting them, age irrelevant.
Don’t know how to say this nicely — but girl, take that job! Your parents are thinking about their needs, not about you! As parents, they should be glad to see you wanting to be self-sustaining, a remarkable thing today! Instead, they want to keep their free servant — do you think they’ll agree to let you go in six months? I left home at age 17, and became completely independent. Go for it! If you quit before even starting it will be a mark against future employment!! You must take that leap of faith … it’s part of being an adult!
What is the reason your parents want you to NOT have a job?
Tell them that’s fine, and ask them when they’re going to pay for xyz that you were going to save for by working at the company.
By changing the discussion to you being completely amenable with their request and assuming they’ll replace the cost it’ll put pressure on them to replace what they’re robbing from you
Explain to your boss the ridiculousness of your situation and your reasons for playing along with it. Tell them you were excited and are crushed. Tell them you aren’t ready to cut ties with your parents as a minor but would like to reach out again in March.
Just go to work. They legally can’t kick you out. Tell them they’re welcome to try. You’ll gladly contact the authorities. And if they do kick you out, maybe that’s for the best. I bet you have a friend whose parents will take you in for a while if you explain this situation. Establish your independence and don’t give in.
My parents didn’t let me get a job when I was 17 either. They also said it would affect my grades, but I also was an A student. Really they wanted me as a babysitter for my little brother. I regret not just getting a job anyway. When I went to college, I had no money and practically starved with no help at all. My parents set me up for failure for sure.
Do not quit. Go to work. Contact a child advocate if you have to. Your parents are being cruel
Turning down that job at this point will have negative consequences. Do not do so. Reputation and contacts matter more than school (edit: school does matter a lot, too!).
Tell your parents, that you believe turning down this job will ruin your reputation, and you will not agree to that.
Don’t quit! Getting a job is HELL these days. What are they gonna do? Lock you inside?
Just make sure you have a means to get to work without their help.
Personally don’t see why they want you to quit, if any of my kids told me they’re starting a job I would be thrilled.
My wife started out in a care home, got her NVQ’s and then got a job in the NHS, she says it’s the most challenging and rewarding job shes ever had.
Work experience goes a long long way in the care sector due to the length of time it takes to train staff and a lot of new starts without experience discover its not for them and quit.
Stick with the job and good luck 🙂
Are you mobile where u don’t need them to get to work? If so, fuck em
Call your manager today, don’t no-show. Say, “I’m 17 and my guardians won’t allow me to start. I’m really sorry for the short notice. I loved the training. Is there any way to defer my start until I turn 18 in March? If not, please accept my withdrawal and I’ll return everything.” Then ask your parents what would make them comfortable next time like fewer hours, day shifts, a ride plan, and a grades check-in. You did the right, professional thing.
Keep the job. Tell them you have after school club stuff.
Working is hard enough and it’s hard enough to find a job. I think you need to follow your heart and do what you want to do… this decision is not up to your parents …
If you’re planning on going to school for anything medical or dealing with people tell your parents that lots of recent graduates are having a hard time finding work and having work experience will help you.
Your parents can’t actually stop you. They can only tell you not to or maybe take things away from you as a deterrent.
If you have your heart set on this job you can just ignore them
Go behind your parents back and work a job. The worst that can happen is you realize your parents are haters. When it comes to your life, this is one of the things you gotta put your foot down on. And this is a beautiful thing to stand up for.
OP has both posted about working in a store and that she is getting married to a much older American man. Karma farming?
You’re 17 almost 18 you do not have to listen to your parents. If you quit this job ruin your future for starting and quitting right away. You just go to work hold your ground. Don’t listen to your parents on this. You are almost an adult in the laws eyes, you are old enough to do this. You do not need their permission.
Most parents would be extremely proud to have such a driven and mature kid.
I say that you should do it anyway. I would be so proud as a dad that I would go out of my way to make sure you got there on time.
Good luck… seriously.
They’re just controlling. Do what you want to do – take the job and enjoy it. Fuck em.
i have some personal experiences that might be relevant here. my parents consistently discouraged me from working when i was younger. i got my first job without telling them. even after i graduated college, my mom constantly gave me unsolicited advice that boiled down to “don’t work and depend on me financially,” although she always had much more subtle, manipulative ways of saying that. i’m in my 30s now and my mom would still be thrilled if i stopped working and became dependent on her again. the “generous offers” for money have only slowed because i’m now low contact with the people i’m related to and don’t share what i do for work.
tl;dr this is a red flag for a lifetime of financial abuse and control. keep the job.