My parents disapprove my relationship. What should I do?

TL; DR: My parents disapproves my relationship because of our different religious background. I am not that religious in the first place and this has caused a strain in my relationship with my mom.

I (21F) have been dating a guy (26M) for about 1.5 years now. We met in college while I was taking my bachelors and he was taking his masters. My parents didn’t approve of this relationship because we came from different countries and had different religions. We both are international students.

I will admit that in the beginning of the relationship we weren’t that serious about it as he was graduating and I still had one more year to graduate meaning he would leave soon for a job. He even said that he doesn’t do long distance so we thought we would just break up once he gets a job and leaves town, which at that point meant that the relationship would probably last at most 3 months if he gets a job immediately after graduating. However, he didn’t get a job until 7 months after graduating. During this time, we continued to date and genuinely fell in love. Even when he had to leave town for work, he was still willing to try make the long distance work.

Now, my mom still disapproves of the relationship mainly because of his religion. My mom is a very religious person. She was willing to accept his race but not his religion. I am personally not that religious so I don’t have an issue with our difference in religion. My bf’s parents are okay with my race and religion so the issue is just my mom. I am not sure how my dad really thinks because we don’t really discuss my relationships but according to my mom, he also disapproves. I am not quite sure because I don’t think my dad is also as religious as my mom.

Whenever I try to convince her, she starts getting mad and starts saying hurtful things:
– how it is my fault because I knew she didn’t approve the relationship in the first place and yet I still jumped into it so if I’m heartbroken now, it is the consequences of my own decision. (I guess maybe she is right about this one)
– blames my bf for making me like this, like how I am not religious now, how I am now defying and questioning her and her religion. (I was never religious in the first place, even before i met my bf). – She said if I would’ve met a boy of my religion, I wouldn’t even be questioning these things or her.
– I’m being blind and stupid for staying in this relationship and wasting my time when I know she’s not gonna let me marry him.
– how my bf is just using me because he knows she won’t let me marry him and yet he is still dating me thus wasting my time.
– how my religious views have become twisted because of him
What bugs me is also how sometimes she would switch excuses between religion and principles. Example: the reason she is not allowing me to marry someone of different religious background is because it has been written in the text. Now, if I say I don’t mind that because my bf would allow me to teach my kids my religion, she would say it’s not about if our religion is right or wrong, it’s about her principles. That as her daughter I should follow her principles.

I love my bf so much that even the thought of breaking up with him breaks me. I don’t think I would survive the heartbreak honestly. My bf is a good person. Even to my mom, her only issue is with his religion, nothing else. I just don’t see why I should break up with him when the issue is only with my mom. However, I also don’t like how this has put a strain on my relationship with her. I dont think she will ever change her mind about this though. And so, I feel like my only options are to either break up with my bf and make my mom happy or I walk away from my family. I just feel bad doing the latter because my relationship with my mom prior to all this was pretty good. I know that if I walked away, if things don’t turn out well in the relationship, I won’t have a place to go back to. I also come from an Asian country where people might see me as a disgraceful child if I ever walked away from my family and I don’t want to put my family through that shame as well because I still love them.

My bf’s advice is to just focus on my career now and he will do the same but we would keep dating. He’s basically saying make a decision when you have a couple of years more of experience in life and is more mature because I am still 21 so still very young.

What should I do? I know I still have about 4-6 more years to get married but it’s bugging me now because I get into a lot of arguments with my mom because of this.

(sorry for the lengthy post, I just want give as much context as possible for advice)