This feels really weird to post about, because usually my life is boring. My partner (Liam) and I are both friends with a friend of his, Julia. Her husband, Evan, is a grade school friend of Liam’s.
I met Julia and Evan a few years ago and we were invited to their wedding. I would say julia and I are more friendly, and liam is friends with her. All four of us have a lot in common, and i suspect evan and i are the same neurotype. Cool etc.
Liam and i generally get along but hes been under stress recently, unrelated to me. Julia disclosed to me that she and Evan were having trouble, in december 2024. No details. Just little variables.
Julia and I socialize frequently over Snap and have been generally supportive of one another as our partners both are in the same friend group and its a bit sour.
Tonight, julia texted me to update me on her feelings related to aforementioned friends group and out of seemingly nowhere, asked me if i would engage in group sex w her.
“You me and liam”
I asked her to clarify the number of participants and she was vague, i assume she was drunk texting me, tbh. I also asked her what made her think of liam and i. Vague drunk reply.
But this feels really weird. Edit to include she did not seem to imply evan would be involved.
I offered to talk to julia about it later or we could pretend the convo didnt happen.
But im still sort of reeling. Any advice? I tried to wake Liam to ask him what he knew but he was confused as heck and went back to sleep pretty immediately.
Idk if this is something id do or not, but im more interested in general feedback on the situation.
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I would do it
Maybe she just wants to fuck your husband and it’s best to invite you first rather than go behind your back
It’s odd. Would you do it?
The wife’s single friends jokingly say we should have a threesum after a grip of drinks…
Just brush it off…
She wants to sleep with your husband…she’s having marriage troubles and thinks sex with others is going to fix it.
the fact her own husband would not be involved screams she likes she’s having some mid life crisis. I’d be quite upset to be honest, not only does she want to cheat on her husband but she wants to involve her friends with it. Do you and your husband have an open marriage/poly relationship? Is that why she asked?
I mean obviously I would not engage with this behaviour and I’d keep an eye on that she doesn’t make any moves on your husband. I’d keep the friendship as a friendship and maybe inform her husband.
Look, if Liam doesn’t agree, I am game. In any case, best of luck to you and Julia.
They’re already doing it behind your back.
Sounds fun
She’s having problems and drunk texted. She’ll probably be horrified in the morning. I’d pretend it never happened.
Updateme!
Couple people saying it’s hot… don’t listen to them.
Threesomes can be fun, but they can also damage relationships/friendships.
Unless everyone wants it equally and everyone is on the same page. Don’t go near it.
Something may have happened between your husband and said friend. Nothing may have happened or been mentioned. Let hope it is the latter.
To me it sounds way too messy and that there will be regrets. I would also be very cautious moving forward with the friendship till things are properly cleared up.
If she’s drunk texting this, there is a chance she has/will make a move in person when drunk and inhibitions are low. I wouldn’t really be that open to your partner and her hanging alone till things are cleared up, and particularly with alcohol involved.
Tread carefully and watch for signs of them suddenly getting closer, awkward pauses etc that never appeared before.
Her husband deserves to know (unless he already does) considering he is a friend. If they are separated it’s different, but a rocky marriage doesn’t mean go cheat on your partner.
If you aren’t sure if it’s something you’d do, then don’t. It may add to your relationship but could likely ruin it. You need to be sure before opening a marriage like this and not feel pressured.
Jealousy, insecurity, and other emotions aren’t worth trading for a night of fun imo.
She brought this up. Don’t be afraid to confront her until you have answer. It is serious and not to be brushed off for the sake of avoiding an awkward conversation.
So, she wants to cheat on her husband with his friend. Yeah, HELL NO. Have your husband tell the friend.
Maybe its just me but when I get drunk I have no filter and I say what I feel. So maybe Julia really feels this way but getting drunk has given her courage to actually say it.
I definitely think it’s strange and I’d question if your husband’s relationship with her is just friends or more. Or starting to become more.
One angle I haven’t seen brought up is what exactly is the problem between her and her husband, if they’re approaching separation and why etc.
If her husband cheated on her or something like that, I could definitely see a path to her approaching you.
There’s a world where she wants to feel safe/desired/empowered and thinks she can get that with you guys.
Just throwing that out there