My partner and I were struggling. We had been together for 18 months. I had surgery at the start of this year for reproductive issues and since then my libido has plummeted. I’ve always been very honest and open about this and have tried to be as sexual as I can. Quite often I’m in pain but I am more than willing to satisfy him. In addition to this his expectations of me in my daily life have become too much and on top of trying to meet these expectations everything I do is met with criticism, I’m never told anything nice like I look nice prior to going for food etc when I try so hard. This grinds a girl down. Now he got angry with me as we hadn’t had sex for 10 days, I’d like to at this point say it’s always me expected to initiate. I explained my feelings and got upset in doing so because my self esteem is pretty much at zero. He said he criticises me for my betterment and to make me a better person and that I had sex with him long before he ever said he loved me so why shouldn’t I now. He then continued despite me being in tears to say he’s thinking of cheating on me if he doesn’t get what he wants and that he’s stopped seeing me in a sexual way, that friends at work are saying I’m out of order etc. I have never felt so unheard in all my life, I’m literally lay here begging for the bare minimum from my boyfriend. Now I know what this means for me however and have not come for advice based on this this was just to provide some context as I came across a video on insta of a man complaining of similar from his wife and when the woman tries to explain her view which was identical to mine it seemed many men commenting felt it is appropriate when not getting sex from your spouse/gf to threaten to cheat on them.
TL;DR I basically came here to ask do men think this is an acceptable way to treat a woman? To threaten them almost or guilt them into having sex with you out of fear of losing you? Is this really the solution rather than listening and understanding?