My partner(22F) and I (22M) have been in relationship for almost 4 years now. Lately she has never agreed to be physical like before and she always keeps complaining about her life, is always selfish. I feel so exhausted. How should I breakup and what should I tell her?

My girlfriend (22F) and I (22M) have been together for almost 4 years. Things were good in the beginning — we were close emotionally and physically, and we even had sex a few times. But after we moved in together last year, everything started changing.

She suddenly stopped wanting to be physical at all. Later, she told me she never really wanted to have sex before — she just did it because I wanted it, and she never said anything back then. That hurt a lot. Since then, I haven’t pushed anything and have respected her space completely, but it’s been difficult because physical touch is a big part of how I feel loved.

We also had agreed to split rent 50/50 before moving in, and she was fine with it at the time. But she only paid her share for the first few months. After that, I ended up covering most of it without much of a conversation. I didn’t make a big deal out of it back then because I cared about her and wanted to be supportive, but over time it’s started to feel really unfair — like she just expected me to take care of everything without appreciating it.

Around the same time, we were both preparing for job placements. I got selected, but she didn’t. Since then, she’s been constantly upset, saying I don’t understand her struggles. I really did try to help her — with prep, emotional support, everything. But she often procrastinated and didn’t take things seriously, and now it feels like she blames me for how things turned out.

Lately, she’s always angry or irritated. She complains about her life constantly — her family, her career, everything. I try to be supportive, but nothing I say ever seems right. For example, today I told her maybe she could try making friends at her new coaching center, and she snapped at me, saying I don’t think before I speak. I suggested she visit a nearby mall after class, and she made it seem like I was being cruel.

I don’t feel appreciated at all. I do small things every day to make her life easier, but she barely notices. We mostly eat the food she likes, I adjust for her needs all the time, but she rarely does the same. It feels one-sided.

She also gets angry over small things and stays mad for hours, even if I try to calm her down. Honestly, every time she calls me now, I feel anxious because I know it’ll be more complaining or negativity.

I care about her and I know she’s going through a hard time, especially with her family and job stuff. That’s the only reason I’ve stayed this long. But I’m exhausted. I feel like I’ve been used — emotionally, physically, and even financially. I feel like I’m in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about how I feel at all. I don’t know what to do anymore.

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years, but ever since we moved in, she’s changed. No intimacy, constant complaining, gets angry easily, and hasn’t paid her share of rent after the first few months. I’ve supported her emotionally and financially, but I feel used and completely unappreciated. I care, but I’m exhausted and stuck