My (31F) fiancés (33M) ex partner (32F) has been stalking and harassing me off and on for the entirety of our relationship. (~6yrs) I’ve been doing my research and it seems she’s a ‘Resentful Stalker,’ as she checks all the boxes and has a grand illusion that I ‘stole her life from her.’ I’m having a hard time finding stalking stories similar to mine or even info on the resentful stalker subtype. Which is why I’m posting now.
She thinks I watched her social media accounts and waited for her and my fiance to break up, so I could swoop in and steal him. None of that is remotely true, he and I met on Tinder. I think some of her issue comes from the fact that she and I went to the same high school and even rode the same school bus, but we weren’t friends or even really acquaintances. Completely different social circles.
From the very first moment of being together publicly, she’s had an issue. Comments, follow requests, fake profiles, watching my professional accounts stories, more fake accounts, MORE FAKE ACCOUNTS. Facebook, Instagram, email. Tried to connect on LinkedIn. The messages she sends are absolute BATSHIT. She blames me for her life being trash, I’m the reason for all her troubles, I stole her life, etc etc and the BEST part is her delusion has a religious flavoring to it. So it’s a lot of I’m going to hell, she’s a warrior for Jesus, she prays for me and knows I’ll never repent etc. We have a child (4M) who we had out of wedlock, still just engaged, so that was a big theme for her to talk about how he’s a bastard and young couples with kids don’t last blah blah. I can always provide exact examples and screenshots.
It gets crazier and crazier and we’ve had moments of peace but I feel this will be a lifelong issue for me. Last I heard was a ‘final’ email from her in January. At this point I see the patterns and know it’s only a matter of time till she sees something from me that sets her off or someone/something in her own life goes wrong and decides to reach out to me again.
I’m in therapy and speaking openly to them about all this, I have an attorney as a client who I have also informed about all this. The next time I hear from her I’m planning on sending a cease and desist and starting legal proceedings against her any way I can.
At this point, what I’ve discovered with my therapist, is that I’m experiencing hyper vigilance, cPTSD and anxiety over the situation. I’m constantly worried and waiting for her to reach out to me, to the point I sometimes check HER social media and it makes ME feel like the crazy one.
Can anyone relate? Sorry it’s so long.. it’s been an ongoing issue for so long and I am just at my wits end.
Comments
Damn OP has been stalked for SIX YEARS?! Fuck, no wonder she’s a nervous wreck. I can’t even imagine what that’s like, but it sounds straight up terrifying and traumatizing as hell… I mean, what kind of psycho does that to someone?! Is she trying to drive the girl insane? I don’t get why anyone would be so obsessed with ruining another person’s life like that… OP’s got my sympathy big time. That shit needs to stop pronto.
Has she also stalked your fiance? How has he supported you through this?
I think it’s cease & desist from a real lawyer time. This is not going to get any better and you have a kid, it’s so scary I’m sorry.
Have you contacted the authorities about this? My cousin had an ex who was stalking him (waiting outside his home for him, online, etc). The authorities went by her home and told her to leave him alone (we showed the messages and ring doorbell videos and asked them to speak to her). After the police spoke to her she stopped.
Gee, I can’t imagine why he left her??
I understand and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My ex from over 16 years ago still pops up every once in a while. He even tried to friend me on Facebook using an account with a fake name. But he’s an idiot so scrolling though it I found police body cam footage he seemed to be proud of, of him getting kicked out of a municipal building. I think it happens when he’s having a hard time. Christmas Eve, two days before Valentine’s Day, etc.