I (38F) was madly in love with my now ex boyfriend (45M). Sometimes when we love, we are blinkered and fail to see what’s really in front of us. However, I wasn’t just blinkered; I was entirely blind.
He told me about his ex girlfriend cheating on him and how the relationship had been dissolving slowing with her largely denying him sex. As a result, he got his gratification elsewhere. He told me he would pinch her used underwear and masturbate with them while spying on her in the shower through the crack in the door. My reaction was strange. On some level I knew this was a violation, but somehow the whole thing didn’t compute. I said nothing.
He later admitted that he spies on his neighbour across the road as she’s getting changed and had bought a motion sensor video camera to record her. He claimed it’s normal male behaviour. I said nothing.
Eventually I broke up with him because he became emotionally abusive and it was only after the breakup that I realised how disgusting his behaviour is.
I should’ve told him how repulsive he is. I should’ve broken up with him immediately and for that I feel ashamed.
Just needed to share for some reason.
Comments
I hope you never again think this is normal male behaviour
No not normal. He is doing something criminal and should be reported
If this is real that’s extremely concerning.
Not normal male behavior. Normal male behavior would be to take a glance at a attractive female and or try to talk to her ..help her with shoveling snow in the winter .stuff like that. Not predatory spying and stalking. You know that tho.
I’m sorry you had that realization late. I’d feel gross and ashamed too if I found out my partner was doing some creepy stuff like sniffing there ex’s panties while creepily masturbating when she was thinking she had privacy is a major violation… male or female.yuck . Good riddance tho you dodged a bullet
I’m 48 and I have NEVER considered doing something like this…
Gross.
I hope you told his neighbor.
>He later admitted that he spies on his neighbour across the road as she’s getting changed and had bought a motion sensor video camera to record her. He claimed it’s normal male behaviour.
What
I’ve also been blind to some “normal” male behaviors, but mostly perpetrated against me. Somehow I’m more protective of other women than myself.
I’m sorry you feel this way. He is gross. You aren’t gross. You probably have some thinking, learning, growing, and healing to do. I would do that with some lovely, kind, strong, feminists if I were you. Become a feminist.
I am glad (unless you left something out) you don’t have kids with this creep. He should never be around kids.
I hope you grow and heal, and can become the fully realized strong woman you have within. I can hear her in your post. It’s hard to report men in this environment. It’s hard to call them out. They can be real a$$holes about it, and sometimes violent. But you are free of him now. FREE of him.
However, I would recommend a ring camera, and/or motion security, very sturdy locks (doors and windows), and beefing up cyber security esp on your cam, possibly taping when not using it, since creeps of this nature often evolve and escalate and I would like you to stay safe in case he wants to watch you, or get ahold of your fresh dirty undies, or whatever he DIDN’T admit to you… a security expert would know more than me. Stay safe, girl 💟 🙏🏻
💚💚💚
Your boyfriend is a peeping tom. This is quite literally criminal. You owe it to the neighbor to tell her as well as made a police report. You may be in love with him, but remind yourself you’re in love with a sexual offender. Saying nothing puts you in the same barrel as him.