Theres layers to this so bear with me.
I(24f) have lived with this roommate(27f) for about a year now. My mom made her move in with the pretense that she’d help me with rent, which I don’t need help with because I don’t really have to pay much and I own the place in name, but my mom payed for it. Before anyone says anything, my mom couldn’t put the place in her name when she lived here and forced me to do it, then ran away leaving me with a whole lot of responsibilities making it hard for me to leave.
Roommate was nice to live with, friendly, didn’t mind cooking and cleaning, and knew my family pretty well even though I’d never heard about her. At the time I was working two jobs and didn’t have time to breathe so I didn’t think much of the family thing. Until for whatever reason, she told me she had been seeing my uncle(don’t know his exact age but he’s in his late 30’s). My uncle with a girlfriend and kids. When I stared at her blankly wondering why she’d even tell me that, she told me they stopped seeing each other the year prior because he was two timing the gf and her. I left it at that and felt very uncomfortable with the relationship she had with my family, all which my mother knew.
Fast forward to my uncle cheating on his gf with my roommate and getting found out by the gf that things started to blow up. I didn’t want part in it and told everyone to fuck off, and told my mom to kick her out if that’s what she wanted. Which she didn’t, and I just decided not to be a part of that despite being really close to my uncles gf(which I’ve felt guilty about since it happened) and so my roommate stayed.
I voiced a few times I wouldn’t feel confortable with my uncle being over, and that has been done twice counting today. First time I didn’t know about until weeks later because she let him in while I slept and he had been drinking. I told her that wasn’t ok and to at least ask.
Today he came unannounced, and I actually think she knew about it beforehand because she deep cleaned the whole place when she usually lightly cleans on the weekend. He was also drunk, and I gave my roomate a look telling her not to let him stay and she didn’t do anything, like at all. I told my uncle if he was staying he’d have to stay in my brothers room. Which he didn’t listen to me at all and went straight to my roommates room. I was taught to respect my uncles and whatnot so it was really hard for me in the moment to try and kick him out, especially because he’s family, I’d let him stay any other time if my roommate wasn’t living with me.
Regardless I feel extremely disrespected, uncomfortable and very disappointed. Not with her because she’s lowkey very delusional and I didn’t trust her anyway, but with my uncle, because why would u go to your nieces house while ces house while she’s there and sleep with her roommate.
I called my mom to tell her about everything since my uncle lives with her and she laughed at the situation. And I was very angered by the way she was handling my emotions, I told her I wanted them both gone. Then I realized things like these were going to keep happening as long as I lived here. But the only way for me to leave is to sell this place and run away.
I don’t know what to do. I want to kick my roommate out, she’s under no contract and just pays me half my rent. I also want to just sell the place and leave, but the process sounds so grueling especially since I don’t know anything about that stuff. I just hate that they feel like they can walk all over me I just don’t know what to do anymore. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Comments
This isn’t just messy, it’s a full-blown betrayal circus and you’re the unwilling ringleader. Kick the roommate out now before your home becomes a family affair soap opera with no commercial breaks.
Wow that’s such a messy, unfair situation for you. Honestly? You’re not trapped. It’ll feel hard, but you can kick her out she has no lease. You own the place in name, so you get to decide who stays. If you truly want to leave, talk to a real estate agent about selling they can walk you through it step by step. You deserve to feel safe and respected in your own home. I’m really sorry your family isn’t showing up for you. Protect your peace it’s not selfish.
Your mother paid for the house but put it in your name for a reason. That means it’s yours. She doesn’t get to dictate who lives there. Legally, you have the upper hand. Use it.
theres no contract and the house is in your name she has zero claim if you cant talk to her about leaving you have to be an asshole and change the locks when shes not there and leave her stuff outside the door
I think I would have to sell the house and move away to create space between you and your family. The process is very straightforward, and your realtor will literally help you every step of the way. I know it seems daunting,but it will help restore the peace you need. My husband did the same thing… he moved like 6 states away and says if he wouldn’t have left, his future would have looked overwhelmingly bleak.. Leaving would allow you to set strict boundaries in your new home.