My sister Tanya and I inherited a house from our father. It was our family home, and I believe he left it to both of us so we could benefit equally. But it hasn’t turned out that way—and now I’m stuck, powerless, and heartbroken.
The house has been vacant since 2019, after our step-grandmother Riley Carri moved out. It just sits there—empty. I don’t live in it. I’ve never made a cent from it. Meanwhile, I’m living in a tiny space, scraping by with barely anything. I’ve had less than $25 in my bank account, and I’ve been completely honest with Tanya about how bad things are for me. I’ve begged her to sell the house so I could have even a small chance at a better life.
She refuses.
The thing is, Tanya has always controlled everything. She genuinely believes that the one with the money holds the power—and in this situation, she’s right. She and her husband live in a $1 million home in a beautiful neighborhood with a basketball court, Olympic-sized pool, and a pool house. They run a successful business. They live in comfort and luxury while I am barely holding it together.
There was a serious offer of $800,000 for the house. I was so hopeful. I thought finally, maybe she’d agree and we could move forward. But she stalled. Again. Just like every other time. It’s like she’s holding on just because she can—not because she needs to.
I tried going to lawyers. I wanted to take steps to force a sale, but the legal costs are overwhelming—way out of my reach. I’m trying to survive. She knows this. And still, she does nothing. The house sits there, useless and empty, while I struggle to live.
I just don’t understand why one sibling wouldn’t want the other to live nicely. It breaks my heart. Tanya has even told people that because our mother and stepfather have a little money, he must be paying my bills. But I’m 57 years old. I don’t ask for help. And the truth is, I’m drowning in credit card debt just to get by. Hearing that she’s said these things is not only hurtful—it’s embarrassing.
I know in my heart my father wouldn’t have wanted this. He would have wanted that house to lift us up—not to become a weapon used against me. I’ve shared everything with her. My pain, my struggles, my desperation. And she doesn’t care.
The family isn’t even speaking anymore. Everything has fractured under the weight of this situation, and I feel like I’m the only one left picking up the pieces.
I’m exhausted. I don’t want a fight. I don’t want revenge. I just want to live.
Thank you for listening.
Comments
Just ask her to buy you out of your share.
If she refuses to sell the house or buy our your portion, find an attorney that will take the case. She can be forced to sell.
Is there any way you can put the house up for rent or turn it into an AirBnB to alleviate yourself financially?
Can you move into the house? You could save on rent while making her life hell to try and get you out.
Have you considered that she believes you’re poor with money (which seems true) and doesn’t want you to squander the inheritance and memory related to the house?
If anything, you should have a conversation about where your financials are really at and what it means.
So, you co-own a house that is worth $800,000 or more. Or maybe even less. The point is, 50% of $500,000 is $250,000. If you have to pay a lawyer $20,000 of that money, you would still have $230,000 left. So, find a lawyer who is okay with bro g paid once the house is sold and get it done.
Cool story bro
Can you find a lawyer that would accept fees after the work was done? A lot of them do work on that basis. Once you’ve forced her to sell, you can pay the lawyer out of the proceeds you receive
Can you move into the house?
Just a stretch, but has she used this house as collateral for her business or some other amenity she enjoys?
These posts are missing about 50 years of backstory, it’s hard for me to side with you when we have all that blank information.
-Go live in that house, till she sells.
-don’t you have insurance that covers legal costs?
-who executed the will?
-did the will mentiond what should happen with the house?
-find a no cure no pay lawer
-others mentiond low income lawers.
Stop acting like a victim and make excuses, fight.
If not for your own life do it for your kid.
From your story it does not seem like your sibling got it handed on a silver platter, she had to fight to. To bad she acts like this now.
Slight/slim chance she wants to use this to trigger you to fight for your right.
But that might be me being naïeve.
Seek out an attorney to file a Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Filing bankruptcy is fairly cheap- a couple thousand dollars to the attorney. In a Chapter 7, you can exempt certain property from attachment. The federal limits are low and the state limits vary by state so you will need to check your state to see what they allow). The Chapter 7 trustee will take the non-exempt property liquidate it and pay off your creditors. The trustee will force the sale of the house and use the non-exempt proceeds to pay off your creditors, take his percentage and return any overage to you. Your sister will not be able to oppose or fight the sale. She will have to sell or buy you out, so make sure the trustee knows the what the prior offer to purchase was.
You don’t make.good decisjons when it comes.to money but that’s besides.the point. She might be doing you a favor holding onto the asset until you have worked.yoyrself.oht of your.current mess.
If you get money from the house sale you will lose it all for sure.
Girl just move into the damn house and save money until you’re able to recover financially. There is no reason why you can’t.
You say you’ve never asked for anything, but this entire post is just you begging your sister to bail you out and asking for a lot.
Because that line you said…. “shouldn’t siblings help each other live nicely?”…genuinely pissed me off because its type of shit toxic and terrible family members say to get others to do what they want for free because “they’re family.”
I’d like to hear your sister’s side of this.
Have you tried to contact legal aid in your area. Google search free legal aid in your state. Should pull up several places to contact
Is there a reason why you haven’t moved into the house and/or sold her your part of the house? I wouldn’t want to fully sell it either, and she shouldn’t have to.
Just move into it to save on rent.
If she won’t sell just go live there. You own half, you’re not a squatter…
Or rent it out to someone and take half the rent.
OR find a lawyer who will agree to get paid after the sale and force a sale.
Why doesn’t she want to sell? It’s clear that she doesn’t.
Many lawyers would take the case knowing they’ll win and your pay then after you get your money
Random option: sell your share to a real estate investor or reverse mortgage.
The first option is easier, but you could get less money and if they work out a deal that leads to the house value going up, you miss out on that profit.
The latter, she’d need to sign off on.
Could you find a lawyer with a no-win no no-fee policy and have them help you out? Or find a lawyer who has pro bono hours to help you out or a charity?
Get a lawyer immediately
Can you just move in there?
Depending on the title and state, she can’t stop you. Or you can just rent it out yourself as again, depending on state laws.
I would immediately move in there! If its your house you have every right to.
Ai content?
Move into the house and rent out the rooms you’re not using.
Pay all of the taxes yourself. Makes sure you do not take a cent from her regarding the property. After a few years petition the court that she has abandoned the property. This is what she is probably doing to you right now, by leaving it vacant. She’s trying to steal the entire inheritance.
However, she is entitled to half of the rent so, I would try not to have tenants if you can afford to live there alone.
She can’t force you out of a home you own, and she can’t force you to pay her, but if she ends up forcing a sale you still win because that’s what you wanted anyway.
Same thing happened to me. When it comes to money, people get greedy. Even family. I had one sibling that fought with the other two siblings. He had money he kept us both in court for so long and then eventually gave in. It’s a control thing. And we all got along until two of us decided to sell.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this
I think you guys scared her away. She said she’s 57 years old. My mother was in her 50s she struggled, but we had a good life. Some of you guys are brutal. But like I said in one of my comments, the same thing happened to me three siblings and one very entitled one, but it was easy for two people to go to the courts and fight for it then it would be one person. My brother and I pulled our money together and it was $61,000 by the time we were done and the house was forced to sell. I can’t see how a single mother can do that.
Many attorneys in estate law do not require retainers, and will work on contingency. You just need to search your area for attorneys and speak to them.
Also, you don’t need an attorney to file a case against her. You are 100% within your legal rights to either force the sake or force her to buy you out. Especially since she prevented a sale of the property.
This is a simple case. She’s just using your ignorance of the law to keep you from forcing her to do something about the property.
Sorry. Can you move in and start renting out rooms to make money? It’s just sitting there now and you own half of the house.
Listen to your sister. Ask her help to get more stable. You’re not telling us why she’s refusing?
Move in. Don’t ask. Just do. Then she either lets you stay or she has to buy you out.
This is not an ask or lawyer situation as you say, so moving in won’t be any MORE stressful than this is.
Forcing the sale should be straight forward when neither of you life in it. A lawyer would likely take the case on basis they’d be paid from the sales proceeds from your share. Need to strictly control the costs.
Alternatively use it as Airbnb or rent it.
Or you should move there and get new dr and school for your kid.
Last time I checked paint is about 50 bucks and cleaning stuff aren’t much I’m not rich. I have a rug cleaner in my house cost bout 120 bucks. It’s old but does the job. Doesn’t sound difficult for someone with and without money
“Haunt” your sister as your father, telling her how ashamed he is of her. I don’t know enough about you and your family to tell you how to pull this off, so maybe ask a subreddit that specializes in such things. I think this might be a movie plot. If not, it should be.
What happens to the house if you have to declare bankruptcy? Just saying….
I would rent out the house. And then after you take out the fee for being the property manager you can send her half to her. Make sure you pay yourself very well!
Your sister sucks but you need to suck it up and move into the house you co-own to save on costs.
I’m confused… if you co-own the home what’s to stop you from living in it? And not trying to be harsh, but you are 57 with $25 in your bank account? I feel like there are some missing details as to why your sister is holding onto it. Would like to hear her side of the story.
Make sure you write a will excluding your sister from getting your half of the house. Give it to anyone else or a charity, just not your sister.
Sue her
If you can, move into the house and get 1+ roommates to earn some extra $.
Talk to her husband and reason with him and get them to buy you out of the house
Just move in. That house is half yours. If she has a problem she can sell it or buy you out. Don’t tell her you have moved in. It’s even better than being a squatter because you actually own that property so it’s perfectly legal. Use it as a way to get your credit card debt down as fast as possible.
Honestly, if you can’t make it work with a lawyer there is nothing you can control about the situation. What you can control is either being apart or not being apart of her life. I think you should At the least, take a long break from her, family isn’t always the healthiest for us….
Why don’t you move into the house with some flatmates. You can split their rent with your selfish sister after landlord costs (repairs, water, etc). That’s a saving and a money-maker right there.
Just do it, don’t ask first.
Either move into the house and live there. Or have her buy you out of your half if she’s holding onto ownership for sentimental value or whatever.
It’s your house too, just move in and sub lease a room to cover expenses
Have you tried posting this in a Legal advice sub?
Get a lawyer, force the sale.
> I tried going to lawyers. I wanted to take steps to force a sale, but the legal costs are overwhelming—way out of my reach.
This is the real issue. What you want to do is find a lawyer that will help you “on contingency”. They get paid when the house gets sold and you collect your half.
The cold hard truth here is that legally you can 100% force this sale. She can buy out your half or it can be sold to a third party. BUT according to the law she cannot prevent this.
BUT you need to fight for this, you need to raise up against her and to do that you need a lawyer to fight for you.
You are expecting her to have empathy for your position and to do “the right thing”. And allow the sale of the house. This will never happen, people like her never do the right thing for others, just the right thing for themselves.
Who pays the taxes and insurance? If it’s her eventually she’ll use that leverage to force you to sign over your half and you’ll have nothing
I always assume that people who don’t reply to comments in their own posts made up a story.
What did the will say other than you two get the house- was there any requirement like to sell within a certain time after step Grandmother moves out? Was anything included about you 0possibly living in it? Is your sister the Executor of your Father’s estate? Can you speak with the Estate attorney? There are legal requirements that an Executor needs to follow. You should have received a letter from the Estate Attorney after they were first hired. Contact them.
If the property is in name of Father or his Estate, and NOT in your sister’s name then she has no legal control beyond what you also have beyond what the will dictated.
Read the will.
In many states: If there isn’t a will the house is part of Father’s estate and estate will go to his heir(s). If no living spouse, then children. State most likely requires equal shares of estate for each child.
Go to Legal Aid- they help people who otherwise can’t afford representation.
Are you a Veteran? If so, contact your local veterans group and ask for legal help that way.
Good luck
You don’t need her permission to sell. See a lawyer.
Clearly you are not interested in moving into the property which will save you a shit load of money per month, because many people have suggested this and you do not respond to them.
You want to force a sale, you own half the property so you need to think strategically about what will give you the biggest benefit in the meantime. You can either rent the property out to someone else, I would recommend a short term lease to start, because things might move quickly when this happens or you live there yourself.
Do not share your plans with your sister until you are in the property or have it sublet already and if sublet then do not tell her for what period of time, you just say that you are struggling and you know she doesn’t want you to be in this situation so you are trying to make the most of this situation.
If you do nothing then you will get no resolution, no one here can help you and you are only answering the comments that support your view – which happens to be something you can not afford to do, think up a new strategy and put on your game and force this or at least put yourself in a better position for the time being.