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My sister was murdered last year. AMA.

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Bubblegum_cocaine

She was 23 years old and it happened last year in February. Her ex bf shot her in the back of her head and then he killed himself.

Comments

  1. Then_Resolution6476 Avatar
    Then_Resolution6476

    was the ex boyfriend abusive? or did he show signs that he was violent in this way?

  2. lilchunk Avatar
    lilchunk

    I am so sorry. How old were you when it happened?

  3. TFT_mom Avatar
    TFT_mom

    I am so sorry that happened to her (and your family)… no question, just wanted to send you a hug – this is such a heavy burden to carry 😢

  4. Theladsdad Avatar
    Theladsdad

    So sorry to hear. I hope you are doing ok.

  5. Many_Application3112 Avatar
    Many_Application3112

    I’m so sorry. I lost my father tragically, and I try to remember all the days he lived before the last day.

    What did you love most about your sister?

  6. Manndes Avatar
    Manndes

    How do you mourn someone you presumably knew really well without getting overwhelmed with grief?

    Also, i’m very sorry for your loss! May your sister rest easy.

  7. [deleted] Avatar
    [deleted]

    [removed]

  8. Ahhhrealmonsterzz Avatar
    Ahhhrealmonsterzz

    Sorry for your loss, what was your favorite memory of her?

  9. DetonateDeadInside Avatar
    DetonateDeadInside

    How were you informed? What was the aftermath? I’m very sorry for you and your family’s loss.

  10. [deleted] Avatar
    [deleted]

    [removed]

  11. slayyydaboots Avatar
    slayyydaboots

    i’m so sorry, big hugs.

    does the ex have family and are you/your family close to them at all or were close? what does their family say about what has happened?

  12. --dee Avatar
    –dee

    I am so sorry.

  13. Intelligent_Pass2540 Avatar
    Intelligent_Pass2540

    First I’m so sorry for your loss. Was your sister pregnant? I ask because murder is the leading cause of death for pregnant women.

    Second question, are you in any kind of therapy or treatment?

  14. ChaoticMornings Avatar
    ChaoticMornings

    It’s called Femicide, and there are a lot more victims like your sister.

    Idk if you are familiar with the term, but perhaps you can read stories of other victims, find the statistics, etc so you can find people that have gone through the same thing, and maybe, just maybe, even some answers.

    I’m sorry you and your family went through this…

  15. JGordz Avatar
    JGordz

    Is revenge a option for you?

    Do you think it would make you feel better?

  16. 7layeredAIDS Avatar
    7layeredAIDS

    Do you think home warranties are a scam or worth it?

  17. arterialturns Avatar
    arterialturns

    I don’t have any questions, I just hope you and your family are holding up okay.

  18. No_Equivalent_7866 Avatar
    No_Equivalent_7866

    What was your sister like?

  19. [deleted] Avatar
    [deleted]

    [removed]

  20. GrimTheRealReaper Avatar
    GrimTheRealReaper

    I’m sorry for your loss. My brother shot himself on accident in August of 24. I had just hired on as a sheriffs deputy so I was the one who found him after doing a welfare check on him. Nobody had heard from him for 3 days. We all thought he was just on a bender.

  21. Mediocre_Champion288 Avatar
    Mediocre_Champion288

    I’m so sorry. Really. I’m sending you a hug.
    I want to ask you just one thing, did you talk about it with a therapist?

  22. Jessabelle517 Avatar
    Jessabelle517

    Oh man today has been rough but this broke me down, I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. How are you doing? How is your family doing? I know the pain never goes away but I hope and pray for you all 🙏♥️

  23. raelynalyce Avatar
    raelynalyce

    My brother was also murdered last year in August. He was also shot in the head and killed. I’m still distraught. He was also 23 years old, I was 25 when it happened. My 2 year old still says her uncle misses her 😭 I know how you feel, I couldn’t sleep for months. I’d wake up crying, have nightmares and was so afraid of everything I suffer from cptsd and it made it so much worse. I was scared to even be home alone with my kids I always thought the person that killed him would come for us. It happened in his home as well and we also got to see the scene after they took his body. (I read some of your comments)

  24. PeoniesNLilacs Avatar
    PeoniesNLilacs

    Has this impacted you or any of your family in a way that has changed your life’s purpose? For example, I feel like if this happened to me, I might be inclined to work with victims of domestic violence or help pass a law to prevent (if possible) or even bring awareness to the warning signs, etc.

    May the good memories comfort you through your loss and condolences to your family.

  25. SalesTaxBlackCat Avatar
    SalesTaxBlackCat

    Condolences. I lost a loved one in a murder suicide at the hands of her estranged husband. Awful.

  26. Maronita2025 Avatar
    Maronita2025

    I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you and your family went through.

    Did you ever hear anything from her bf’s family?

  27. AssWhoopiGoldberg Avatar
    AssWhoopiGoldberg

    Reading your responses has tears in my eyes. My heart goes out to you, I’m so sorry for your loss

  28. 5ivey Avatar
    5ivey

    Sorry for your loss If I may ask was this in NYC? I remember hearing something similar happening near where I live.

  29. bobduncanfanaccount Avatar
    bobduncanfanaccount

    i’m so sorry to hear this.
    Do you know if there was a motive?

    Wishing you and your family a healthy healing journey 🙂

  30. Ilovemyhat_222 Avatar
    Ilovemyhat_222

    I’m so sorry for your loss. 💗

  31. IranRPCV Avatar
    IranRPCV

    Not really a question, but I am so sorry that that happened. Such kind of events make us all poorer.

  32. [deleted] Avatar
    [deleted]

    [removed]

  33. Adept_Building7330 Avatar
    Adept_Building7330

    Sorry for your family’s loss OP.

  34. Pure-Entertainer-229 Avatar
    Pure-Entertainer-229

    This is a rough one. Rest her soul❤️

  35. Large_Candy9412 Avatar
    Large_Candy9412

    Damn, this hit me in the feels, sorry for your loss. It’s going to sound corny but time heals all wounds, they might leave scarring but it does heal.

  36. Hazy_Lights Avatar
    Hazy_Lights

    That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.

    My cousin was murdered over drugs about 5 years ago. He would have been about 29 years old now.

    How are you handling the anger that comes with it? It’s the only emotion that came over me at first. It took a while for the sadness to hit me, too. I thought it was strange that I felt the emotions separately rather than together.

    My cousins killer is in prison now for 25 to life.

  37. sillydeerknight Avatar
    sillydeerknight

    I’ve lost two sisters, one to DV and one to cancer. I just want to say I’m sorry, and I want you to know wherever you sister is in life she has the strong guidance of all the woman who lost their lives to DV too. Just know that she is loved, and cared for, even in a life that we can’t see. Much love to you and your family , grief is a long battle, hang in there.

  38. Adorable-Flight5256 Avatar
    Adorable-Flight5256

    Thank you for sharing.

    I had an ex who was going to try that with his ex-wife but her church friends figured it out and “kidnapped” her so he couldn’t lock her in the house and kill her.

    (He had kidnapped her before and no one figured it out because they lived in a rural area.)

    Obviously once I knew this about him I left him.

    Just shared b/c people wonder how these situations happen. Some people are too mentally ill for relationships.

  39. toasty-tangerine Avatar
    toasty-tangerine

    I’m so sorry. I have a sister and I can’t even imagine what you’ve been and are going through.

    I don’t have any questions about the events that haven’t already been answered, so I’ll ask some about her instead. What was Sierra like as a person? What did she love and what did she loathe? What was your favourite thing about her? 💕

  40. ama_compiler_bot Avatar
    ama_compiler_bot

    Table of Questions and Answers. Original answer linked – Please upvote the original questions and answers. (I’m a bot.)

    Question Answer Link
    I’m so sorry. I lost my father tragically, and I try to remember all the days he lived before the last day. What did you love most about your sister? I’m so sorry you had to experience that too. I loved how strong and caring she was. She was always willing to help people out, she was one of the strongest people I knew. She had been through a lot of shit as a child. Here
    was the ex boyfriend abusive? or did he show signs that he was violent in this way? He wasn’t violent according to her. We didn’t really know much about the guy. We just know that they moved too fast in the relationship because they moved in together less than two weeks of dating eachother. He was telling her he loved her in the same time frame. A few months in she decided to break up with him because she realized that they moved to fast and she said that he threw shit all over the place and stomped upstairs. He was not taking no for an answer, we went to our Grandpas funeral and he was blowing up her phone and calling her baby. Telling her that they aren’t breaking up. We told her not to go back home and that we didn’t feel comfortable bringing her home but she insisted that it was fine…. Here
    How do you mourn someone you presumably knew really well without getting overwhelmed with grief? Also, i’m very sorry for your loss! May your sister rest easy. I had to be strong for my mom and my other siblings. I knew that if I was the one that ended up dead instead of her that she would have done the same thing. Some days I do get overwhelmed with grief. I try to avoid alcohol, I workout, meditate, and journal. Those are things that helped me go through life without my sister. Here
    How were you informed? What was the aftermath? I’m very sorry for you and your family’s loss. This is going to be long… So the night it happened my sisters dad’s friend called us and said that she had texted him that her gun was missing and that her other gun was stuck and asked if he could come over and help her. He showed up but didn’t even tell us anything until 2 hours after he got there. He called my mom and told us what was going on and that she isn’t answering her phone, she’s wasn’t answering the door, and her car was still there. My mom immeditely started to freak out and said that she’s dead. We calmed her down and told her that Sierra’s not dead, we don’t even know what’s going on. We get to her apartments, her light in the kitchen is on, we tried knocking, yelling, calling her phone. Nothing. We didn’t know if her ex had a gun or if he had her tied up. The police said that there wasn’t much they could do and we’d have to wait 24 hours to get someone to do a welfare check on her. (I think they said 24? I can’t remember.) but they had non emergency come by anyway so my mom told them that she was going to break down the door and asked if they could go check her place out if she broke doen the door. They said yes. When she broke the door open, the officer went in there. Checked it out and when he went upstairs to her room I could see him out the window moving stuff around and he took longer than expected. That’s when I knew something wasn’t right. He wouldn’t let my mom upstairs and she kept yelling and asking if she was up there and if she was dead. He said yes and she kept asking him if there were two bodies and he said yes again. It took him a min to answer because I guess they can’t say anything to us when it’s a crime scene. I immediately started crying, like scream crying. I nearly fell to my knees. We were there for hours while they took pictures of the crime scene and asked us a million questions as I’m uncontrollably sobbing. I know they had to do their jobs but jesus. They let us go in the house after they took the bodies out, they kept my sisters hand out if the bag and let us touch her hand. There was blood all over the carpet and wall in her room. We drove home in silence. We took her car with us because my mom didn’t want it there. When we got home me, my mom, my two brothers, and other sister sat on the kitchen floor and cried together while we got drunk. Here
    i’m so sorry, big hugs. does the ex have family and are you/your family close to them at all or were close? what does their family say about what has happened? We were not close with his family, he said that his parents were abusive and his brother lived in another state. My sister and him were only dating for about 3/4 months. So we didn’t know him well. His brother did meet us a few days after it happened. Here
    So sorry to hear. I hope you are doing ok. I’m not but I am working on trying to learn how to live without her in my life. Here
    It’s called Femicide, and there are a lot more victims like your sister. Idk if you are familiar with the term, but perhaps you can read stories of other victims, find the statistics, etc so you can find people that have gone through the same thing, and maybe, just maybe, even some answers. I’m sorry you and your family went through this… I never knew there was a word for it. I know it was a dv act but never knew there was a proper term for what had happened. That opens up many other doors of healing for me though and will look into that. Thank you for sharing that information with me. Here
    Sorry for your loss, what was your favorite memory of her? All of my memories of her are my favorite but one that I love thinking about is when we were on a road trip and singing into beef jerky sticks while my brothers and mom were trying to sleep in the back lmao. Here
    What was your sister like? She was quite the character lol. She was blunt, strong, caring, she could be bitchy, she was fun! She had a light to her that everyone gravitated to, she was really good with kids. She was artistic, independent, funny. Here
    I am so sorry. How old were you when it happened? 27 Here
    I am so sorry that happened to her (and your family)… no question, just wanted to send you a hug – this is such a heavy burden to carry 😢 Thabk you 🩵 Here
    I’ve lost two sisters, one to DV and one to cancer. I just want to say I’m sorry, and I want you to know wherever you sister is in life she has the strong guidance of all the woman who lost their lives to DV too. Just know that she is loved, and cared for, even in a life that we can’t see. Much love to you and your family , grief is a long battle, hang in there. Thank you, that was a sweet message. I’m sorry you lost two sisters. Life is truly unfair. Here
    That’s horrible. I’m so sorry. My cousin was murdered over drugs about 5 years ago. He would have been about 29 years old now. How are you handling the anger that comes with it? It’s the only emotion that came over me at first. It took a while for the sadness to hit me, too. I thought it was strange that I felt the emotions separately rather than together. My cousins killer is in prison now for 25 to life. I never experienced anger when she died. I was truly heartbroken. I want to say that I might have experienced it for moment or two a few months later but I cried non stop for months. My brother however was angry. The night he found out, he punched our fence and broke a piece off of it. Here
    Damn, this hit me in the feels, sorry for your loss. It’s going to sound corny but time heals all wounds, they might leave scarring but it does heal. I’ll never heal from this, I’ll have to learn to live without her but I’ll never heal from losing my sister. Here
    First I’m so sorry for your loss. Was your sister pregnant? I ask because murder is the leading cause of death for pregnant women. Second question, are you in any kind of therapy or treatment? Thank you, no she wasn’t pregnant. And yes I am in therapy. Here

    Source

  41. Funny-Pool-7531 Avatar
    Funny-Pool-7531

    Were you older or younger?