My sister (23F) and Me (25M), we used to be good vibe as kids. We used to play all day. But as we grew older and got busy with school, college, and life in different cities, we kind of drifted apart. A year ago, we barely talk, sometimes once in 4 months, or even a year.
Now this year, as we are in same city I decided to reestablish our connection. She’s always been my favorite sister, and honestly, it feels good to have family close by. So I’ve been trying texting her, meeting up when possible, just making an effort to bring that bond back. and I’m trying since Feb this year.
She’s currently unemployed and stays free all day, so I told her that since I’m your brother, I can help, offer advise, and listen to you if you need emotional support. There are no strings attached, and I love you unconditionally. You may talk to me about anything and ask me anything you need
But months have gone by, and she’s been distant. I thought maybe she just needed time or space, so I didn’t push it. But now it feels like she’s completely ignoring me. She doesn’t reply to my messages, I last text to her was three days ago just to ask “how’s her health”, and she hasn’t even seen it. It’s starting to feel like she doesn’t want me in her life or I essentially don’t exist in her eyes because I don’t often hear back from her.
What hurts more is that I genuinely wanted to be her friend and rebuild the bond we had. I even gave her a small gift on her birthday a few months ago, and she told me she doesn’t really enjoy receiving, I kind of felt bad hearing that.
TL;DR – Now I’m sad. She’s my favorite sister, and it feels like I mean nothing to her. I don’t even know how to deal with these feelings anymore. What should I do now, is there something wrong with me ? what did I do ? Should I move on and never talk to her again ? Idk guys please give some advice on this matter.
Comments
Ew. As one older sibling to another: You’re not Daddy. Stop trying to be Daddy. It’s just gross.
Send stupid memes and buy them a drink. Do not ask “How’s your health?” Ask “Man the job market is shit. What’s keeping you sane?”
She’s unemployed, and you’re talking down to her and treating her like a charity case. You may as well be punching her in the teeth and signing “Why are you hitting yourself?”. Do not try to save your adult siblings. Comiserate with them. Invite them over for the game or a movie, and feed them if they’re hungry. When they leave, tell them you got a gift card or a transit pass with a few bucks left on it you aren’t gonna use, and make them take it. Give them thier dignity and treat them like a peer.
None of your younger siblings want a shitty, quarter-life peudo parent who is there to “help”. They might want an older sibling to actually shoot the shit with and maybe try a new restaurant or cocktail or movie with.