I’ve never dated anyone for the past 22 years. We’ve been in a situationship (long distance situationship) since end of March till now. He used to tell me that he didn’t feel like I care for him and he would want me to update him on things like where I’m going and so on. I was just curious if we’re in an exclusive situationship, do I really need to update him things. But I still did what he told me to because I want him to feel that I care for him. N I was hoping this situationship could turn into a relationship.
2 days ago, I texted him on ig and asked when are we going to be together. But he didn’t answer nor see my message on ig but he did texted me on WhatsApp. He called me last night and told me he just doesn’t think that this will work out because he doesn’t feel that I care enough for him and he expects more. I told him if I don’t like him enough or care for him , I wouldn’t have go to Liverpool all the way from Newcastle once in every 1 month and a half to spend time with him. Sometimes I offered to pay for the meal (just sometimes) and cook for him. N ever since he told me that he doesn’t feel I care for him, I started texting and calling him. But when most of the time I called him , it’s either he’s sleeping due to the weed or he’s talking to his mom. Unfortunately he said his exes put more effort compare to me.
I’m going to start my course in Jan 2026 and he’s going to start his course in sep 2025. He told me that if we’re going to be together, then we will be in a ldr again. N he thinks it will be difficult for him to do ldr because he needs companionship. I told him since he’s going to Leeds and I’ll be in Manchester, it only takes an hour train ride to see him.
He told his mom about us that we’re in a situationship n we used to argued about matters like im not updating him. His mom said there’s no point being together in a relationship if we started argued about this in a situationship.
After our talk he texted me he’s not in a good headspace rn and he needs time to reflect on how he feels about us.
I then send the text below: {Thank you for telling me how you felt. I never want you to feel like I didn’t care, it’s just my actions might not have shown it the way you needed it. I apologise deep down bottom of my heart for making you feel that way. You’ve shown me that I need to show more love and affection in the ways that matter most. I understand if you want things to end because what truly matters is how you feel. I just want you to be happy, safe and healthy. That’s all I asked for. Good night }
TL;DR I’m trying to give him space to think about it. I love him and I want to work things out but I’m not sure whether it’s worth it.
Comments
Sounds like he wants a level of attention that’s draining you. Long distance or not, if you’re already jumping through hoops and it’s still “not enough,” it’s probably not going to change.
You’re in an emotionally manipulative and unstable LDR.
Stop trying to beg and bargain with a guy who has told you in a dozen different ways he doesn’t this will work, or should work, and that he doesn’t want to make it work. He’s playing you: Nothing you do is going to change his mind.