I’ve been with my spouse for just over 10 years. We had our ups and downs, but it’s not bad considering. We have 3 kids, 3 dogs, and 2 cats. She’s a cat person and got the cats. We then got our first German Shepherd. A year later, we got another Shepherd (he’s 4 now and the dog she wants gone), and two years after that, we got a Frenchie.
The issue for her is that the 4-year-old male Shepherd does have a high prey drive. He’s very attached to me, and when I leave the room, he whines a bit. He chases the cats, though not full-blown. He’ll get up to chase them when they move, and that bothers my spouse. It’s a huge fight. The dog is very close to me, and I’m very attached to him. I feel he helps my mental health. She pretty much gave me a “get rid of him or her” type of ultimatum, and I think that’s super unfair. We paid 3 grand to get him trained, so he’s decent at walking and listening. I might have to call him a couple of times when he’s locked on, and he wears an e-collar. I honestly think he’s a good dog.
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Did it ever occur to your spouse that your dog might just be playing? That’s what dogs do in their packs, they chase each other playfully. If he’s not outright being violent or aggressive then there really isn’t an issue. Way too many people misinterpret dog behaviors. She sounds like she’s overreacting. If I were you, I wouldn’t give in. Nobody would ever make me give up my dog. NOBODY. What she’s asking is unfair. Bet she wouldn’t give up any of her cats, so why should you give up your dog?
So now you need to help her leave call it a day and tell her and her cats to get fucked
A spouse should never ask for a pet to be removed that has been with a person for a while. First don’t have anymore children. See if you can have a conversation about what the true issue is. Is she jealous of the dog? A person that love you will never ask you to get rid of your pet. So straight up ask her does this mean she doesn’t love you anymore? Keep the dog, do a week on week off with the children. She is not worth it.
Look I’m a guy. I’m not a cat guy or a dog guy. I have always enjoyed both.
But the truth is she feels the same way as you do about cats. She is defending something she loves. And protecting.
If something was chasing your dog and threatening your dog what length would you go to?
If you can’t control your dog then it is your problem and your fault. ie she is right!
Just for the record my favorite pet growing up was a shepherd.
What happens to the cats when you’re not at home, OP? Does the dog leave them alone like you want, or does the dog chase the cats around the house every time they move?
To settle this argument, you and your wife should agree to get an internal camera, and see what the dog and cats do while you’re both away. If the dog is good while unsupervised, it’s all good. If the dog chases the cats or frightens them, the dog may need a new and less populated home.
So the Frenchie is okay… is the Frenchie hers, along with the cat? This is not okay. Unless there is anything that you’re deliberately leaving out that makes the dog actually dangerous, your spouse is way out of line. I’m so sorry – how painful that she’d risk your life together just to get her way. Keep your goodest boy – keep your mental health – this is the path to peace, friend. Good luck, I do feel for you. How unfair, unkind, and disrespectful to ask you to choose.
“get rid of him or her” – snap call.
If the dog cannot be adequately trained to avoid attacking/chasing cats, kids, or other things — then they dog can’t live in the cat, kids, or other things. It’s that simple.
It’s your responsibility to obtain proper training to nullify this “predator” behavior. I can tell you that a police K-9 is born with those same traits, but they will remain under control until released. Your dog is inadequately trained, and it is your fault as the owner. Correct it, or give the dog up for adoption if you’re incapable of taking care of the situation.
Your wife is in the right here.
I would imagine her attitude and stress toward the dog are instigating things. Chasing and a little nip? Dogs can’t really grab otherwise. He is trying to play. Maybe you could play with him more so he does this less in house but it seems she’s making it an issue to hang something over your head. Sorry you are going through this it seems you are a great pet and step parent.
If you paid $3,000 and he doesn’t know “leave it” then talk to your trainer because you got robbed.
PLEASE don’t let your dog go!
Get rid of the spouse, it’s easier and probably cheaper in the long run
Your dog has to go. If you can’t see that, just go yourself and live alone with your hyper dangerous dog.
Your spouse deserves a decent life get in a peaceable home.