For context: My partner and I (both 30’s) just traveled to another country with my parents and his parents for 8 days. It was originally just a trip with my parents for my mom’s birthday, but my partner invited his parents and I reluctantly agreed. MIL was being SO rude to my mom the entire trip, making nasty faces at her, scoffing, whispering sarcastic remarks, being passive aggressive and argumentative.
It hit me towards the end of the trip: she’s jealous. I spoke with my dad, who never likes “getting involved” in anything, and he immediately said she was jealous of me. Apparently, every time I’d rub his back, she’d give me a dirty look and then immediately do the same thing. She’s always trying to hold his arm when they walk, touch his hand when we’re out to eat, give him long shoulder massages, snuggle and whisper things.
But the thing is – my partner and my mom have a great relationship, well he has a great relationship with both of my parents. And on the trip, there were times where they would talk and laugh, and I could see her seething.
My partner and I were talking about everything and he said “my mom said something weird on our last day there, she said ‘it’s so weird to see you with your new family.’” ummm?? How sick and jealous do you need to be to view it that way… we’re all family, you should be happy that my parents have embraced him.
MIL is a jealous, nasty person. I don’t know where to go from here. I’m disappointed in her. She doesn’t live close to us, but she keeps texting us and I know she wants us to come visit soon and now I don’t want to. I’ve already told my partner that I’m disappointed in his mom’s behavior but I don’t want to drag it on and make him feel bad, it’s not his fault and he agrees with me.
Anyone go through something similar? How do you implement boundaries without coming between your partner and their parent?
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Other posts from /u/throwaway7739757593:
Partner’s mom is so rude to my mom and I’m about to pop tf off, 1 week ago
Partner’s mom is driving me up the wall with how obsessive she is with him, 1 week ago
^(To be notified as soon as throwaway7739757593 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe throwaway7739757593 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
“How do you implement boundaries without coming between your partner and their parent?”
—We made plans your way DH after you pressured me to reluctantly agree and it was an ugly shit show of disrespect. From now on, we are doing things the right way.