My twin sister (27F) can be very mentally volatile at times. I (27F) have had limited contact with her throughout the years due to her behavior. Last year, she moved to my area. I have the strong boundary that she can’t come to my place uninvited etc. if that sets the tone for our relationship. She has physically hurt me before in childhood and adulthood – so we are not close.
Anyways – she decided to adopt a cat 4 months ago. She did not ask me to go to the shelter with her to see the cat before she adopted, which she had no obligation to. I also advised her it’s best for her not to get an animal now and that she will have opportunities in the future. I did offer to help ‘vet’ (haha pun) the cats if she wanted my help – I’ve volunteered for animal rescue as a vet tech etc. not saying I’m a saint but I am familiar with cat behaviors and health
She adopts this very beautiful sweet cat. He is very anxious and shy and only wants to hide for the first week. This is very normal behavior. My sister was very anxious about this and said she must be doing something wrong. I said no, he just needs time to feel comfortable. My sister has very anxious movements (like yelling loudly and abruptly when she stubs her toe etc.) that always had me on edge. I think the cat was baseline anxious about adjusting to an new environment; but my sister was not making an effort with her behavior to make it calm for him. She did buy him food, toys, litter box and things he would enjoy which is nice. However he couldn’t enjoy those things because he would hide when she was home because of her sounds and movements – she gets frustrated with herself and yells and hits the counter etc.
2 months ago the cat bit her ankle and she went on antibiotics. Since then she’s talked about returning the cat to the shelter. It was obvious to me that she did something that made the cat jump – so 2 anxious energies together isn’t working.
Frankly I don’t think she is fit to care for an animal since she is still working on taking care of herself.
Now, she is seriously making plans to return the cat to the shelter and I’m afraid he’s going to be put down. I have 1 cat, 10 years old who enjoys being a solo cat and has some closely monitored health conditions. He would not be interested in having a cat friend and it would stress him out.
It’s not my sisters cats fault that she is unable to care for him properly with her mental state. Do I take in her cat temporarily? Logistically not sure how this would work, but wondering if I should
make it work so the cat isn’t put down.
TLDR: twin sister has a cat she is considering giving back to the shelter and I’m concerned he will be put down – do I take in the cat with 1 resident cat already?
Comments
This cat does not need another heartbreak at a shelter, he needs a lifeline with a deadline. Take him in only if you can isolate him completely and move fast to rehome, because protecting him should not mean destroying the fragile calm you have built.
If you don’t want to keep it, maybe you can foster the cat until you find it a new home.
Your sister should probably not have any pets at all.
Try crossposting in r/PetAdvice- lots of people there familiar with situations like this.
I think take the cat if you can and and are willing, but don’t tell your sister. You seem to have limited contact so there’s no reason for her to find out soon enough to try and adopt another thinking you’ll just take it for her if it doesn’t pan out, and you seem scared of this current cat being put down and want to help it if possible. You seem to have a grasp on cattitude, and so I think, if you’re willing to take on another cat yourself, that your current cat will soon get acclimated to the new addition. It just may take about a couple of months. It’s up to you, you don’t owe anyone anything in the end, and we can’t all save everyone. There is a lot of suffering in the world, but there’s only so much we can do until we’ve abandoned our self care. We must take care of ourselves first. If you cannot be having another cat right now, honestly, that’s all there is to it. We don’t adopt every animal at the shelter, it’s impossible. This was your sister’s shitty decision, not yours. If you’re able to take the cat in, that is great, if not, then it sucks yes, but it was going to happen anyways and happens every day and there’s nothing we can do about it. We can’t save every cat. The people who try to save every cat are hoarders are end up in a filthy house with animal organizations coming over and rescuing 100s of pets.
Do what you can. If you can’t, that’s okay! Heck, maybe you can find a friend or a person you know to adopt the cat.