Me and my twin sister are both in our mid 20s and are very career-driven since young. We both are pursuing different expertises within the same industry (e.g I do “bananas” and she does “apples” in the “fruit” industry), and we both are good at our jobs.
My current issue is that last week I was approached via online by a pretty well established client from overseas who was interested to collaborate with me on a big project. This never happened before and I was really thrilled to have been the one to have been reached out to, as this seemed like a rare opportunity for anyone in general.
So a few days ago, I shared the news to my family group chat to which my parents responded positively, however my twin ignored it and changed the subject. I thought that maybe it’s because she was busy so I didn’t think much of it. Not long after that, she came to visit my house and we were able to catch up on life (friends, events, gossip) and she even gave me several items she got me as gifts, but never asked me anything career related. I decided to bring the topic up thinking that she’d get excited about it if I reminded her, and I was ready to perhaps show her information about this client and what the collaboration was going to be about. To my surprise she was sort of dismissive about it and made a crude joke about the client before I had begun explaining. As I was about to continue on, she stopped me, saying that she was going to pray before eating her dinner (we usually pray before meals), so I waited. After that I decided to just shut up and ofc, she never asked me to continue and just went on her phone so I walked off.
I know that my sister can be pretty insecure about her achievements and low-key compares herself to me at times, and I’d be lying if I say I’ve never done the same before. But I would’ve hoped that she’d have the decency to hear me talk about my wins in excitement as I do when she has something positive going on with her life. I feel quite disappointed that the person who’s literally been with me all my life treats me this way and idk what to do about it.
Is this normal between siblings/ twins? What can I do to change our dynamic? I’d love to hear what you guys think and whether you’ve had similar experiences.
Comments
Classic case of “if I’m not winning, your win is a threat.” Twin or not, some people can’t handle not being the center of gravity. You didn’t do anything wrong by being excited. She just couldn’t stomach not being the one getting the spotlight this time. That’s not your burden to fix.
I’m sure for some it is normal and for others it is not.
“To my surprise she was sort of dismissive about it and made a crude joke about the client before I had begun explaining.”
Why was it surprising? Seems somewhat in line with the tenor of your relationship?
“I feel quite disappointed that the person who’s literally been with me all my life treats me this way and idk what to do about it”
Treated you this way once or all the time? Maybe she was just in a bad mood.
My advice would be to focus on yourself and what you can control.
Do you model for your sister the behavior you would like to see from her?