So today my husband fought with me on the phone(my toddler never knew this happened)because I tried to establish boundaries to his mom. I couldn’t recognise him anymore, he was screaming and yelling about how I upsetted his mom and brought up unwanted past events(I used examples of when she broke our boundaries) and was mad and he even threatened to break my skull(maybe that just heat of the moment)
He got home later and we never spoke to eachother and I went to bed after opening the door for him and he came to the bed in a few minutes and he lied there with our daughter getting all over the bed. And I couldn’t contain it anymore because I felt betrayed by my husband because when his mom insulted me before every he told her not to do it anymore in the most polite way possible and when I’m trying to establish boundaries, he calls me and outright asked me “what right do you have to tell my mom that” “who are you to say that to her” I was crying and weeping, he just went to sleep when my toddler got up and brought me the water bottle and asked me to drink it and hugged me till I stopped crying… Now I know what love is and what is not….
I don’t have anyone to share things with, please don’t judge me… I just need some kind words now
Comments
You deserve love, respect, and safety. Your toddler’s kindness is real love. Don’t ignore threats or dismissal of your feelings. If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for support you and your little one deserve peace.
You deserve respect ♥️
If he threatens to break your skull, he’s thinking about hitting you, and then thinking turns to actually hitting, and hitting turns into beatings. I’ve seen too many abusers and this is how it starts
He…did what?? Please leave him because that man is not safe. I know it’s not easy but this is legitimately terrifying and absolutely not normal
You are strong and you deserve love and you deserve boundaries. Please think of your daughter .. think about what you would tell her if she was in that situation. And do that!
Don’t let him be the model she will come to think of what love is.
You deserve better ❤️
“he even threatened to break my skull”
GET OUT NOW. It doesn’t matter that he was “angry” — you NEVER tolerate physical violence or threats of physical violence. What if he gets mad enough to beat your child? Or kill your child? Or put you in the hospital? Do NOT dismiss this threat.
Also he has NO respect for you. He’s shown you that over and over. You need to take your child and go. Get a good lawyer. Do NOT raise your toddler in that home. You will teach your daughter that’s what a good relationship looks like. You will teach her how little self-respect to have. You will teach her to tolerate abuse. Please if you don’t have the strength to leave for yourself, do it for your daughter.
>he even threatened to break my skull
You’re a mom, with a toddler, and your husband is not safe to be around.
Please do not brush off threats of violence, especially when he is showing signs of intense anger, and irrationality. It’s a very short step between flash anger, and you getting hurt. Or, your child getting hurt.
Your child is also being raised in an abusive home. At such a young age, they are already trying to defend and help you. That is no way for a child to grow up.
You and your toddler deserve a safe space. Your husband is a ticking time bomb.
NTA
Threatening to crack your skull is enough grounds to leave aside from his weird relationship with his mother. You really need to do some thinking. You are the only one who knows what goes on in your household. And ask yourself if that’s something you want your daughter to be raised around or if it’s something you can work through.
So in the last 2 days you were joking about killing your husband (first post by you 2 days ago) then you wanted a date idea, then mother in law stressing you out last night to him threatening to break your skull. Can you pick a topic? Or are you looking for karma too?
Get out. I know it’s easier said than done but get out. He’s already threatened major violence that’s unsafe to you. Further, your toddler is noticing that mom is hurt. You don’t want your toddler growing up too early and a situation like this will definitely do it. You also need to keep yourself safe so you are here for your child.
Please leave 😭 take your baby and leave. You aren’t safe. I beg you leave this man.
NTA’s a psycho straight up. Threatening to bash your skull in? That’s assault and battery bro. Your kid deserves better than growing up with that freak show for a dad. You’re not just fighting for yourself here, you’re protecting your daughter from being raised by a potential monster. Wake up, smell the coffee, your husband isn’t the guy you thought he was. Time to pack your bags and get out before things go south. I believe in you, momma
You need to post this on r/mommit now and see what these women have to say. And listen to them. It’s great support.
You are in an abusive relationship that you need to leave before it turns to physical violence. Get your kid and get out before he hurts one or both of you.
You did not mentioned the type of boundaries. Are they over the top?
It is problematic that he threaten you. You may want to consider couples counseling and maybe separate until the problems can be worked out.
A guy threatened to slash my tires if we broke up. I ended up leaving him…. And my tires got slashed. Please take his words as a warning and make sure you and your child are safe.
Please leave this man so your daughter does not have to grow up paying the role as your emotional support person
Youre husband threatened to kill you, it doesn’t matter if it is in the heat of th e moment on the phone and hyperbole, he threatened to kill you. This is no longer about how you feel but the fact you have a toddler in the house with someone that threatened to kill his mother. You need to leave. Yesterday.
The fact your child immediately knew how to comfort you just goes to show how well you’ve modelled those skills and have comforted them. A silver lining in a shitty situation
Get out get out get out get out get OUT!! I know it can be hard to leave an abuser but for the sake of your child you need to run as far away as you can. Those are the kinds of things people find out a man’s been saying in private after he makes the news for killing his entire family & then committing suicide. You and your child are in DANGER!! Definitely NTA. Leave that man!!!
Time to leave with your child. You don’t want them growing up thinking this is an acceptable way to be treated in a relationship.
Has he ever slammed stuff in anger? I only ask because that can be them showing you how badly they want to hit you and, could be only a step away I personally know how hard it can be to leave let alone with a child but, whatever you need to do to be safe for not just yourself but, your child is the best plan. He sounds like a mommas boy
Just my take here, your husband is a momma’s boy. He may or may not have mommy issues. What I think is he has been raised believing his mother is the end all and be all and would never do anything wrong.
I wouldn’t go as far as say leave and ruin your marriage, but there is a deep problem that needs to be addressed with your husband on that regard.
Just for me, that is the main cause of your problems right now.
Oh my, you need to break the cycle for your kid. It ends with you. Please plan your way out.
Whether it was “heat of the moment” or not, he uttered death threats. GET OUT NOW.
You need to leave. He threatened to kill you. Don’t let your daughter grow up around that.
NTA. You and your child are in danger. Which city are you located in? I/Redditors will help as we can.
You should never for one second think you are an AH. He is an abusive, gaslighting, manipulating, dangerous person. He clearly learned this from his family. Document everything. Get as much proof in recordings as you can. File for divorce and full custody.