Can I (35F) get some advice on how to respond because I’m absolutely floored by what my ex-husband (40 M) just did. We were married for 11 years, and I have an 8-year-old son with him. He also has an 18-year-old son (M) and a 15-year-old daughter (F) from his first marriage, both of whom he has a terrible relationship with. I’ve always maintained a connection with his older kids, even after our divorce, and I’m friends with his first ex-wife on Facebook (he’s blocked).
Tonight, on my birthday, my ex called me to talk to our 8-year-old. I immediately sensed something was off; he sounded very drunk. He then asked our son to leave the room so he could talk to me privately. I put the call on speaker and had my fiancé join me because I don’t trust my ex alone.
What followed was a horrific, tearful breakdown where he told us his 18-year-old son had been in a catastrophic car accident three days ago. He claimed the car flipped 18 times, his son broke his neck, back, an arm, his hip, femur, and ankle, and might be paralyzed. He then said, “this morning he grasped his hand and this was his not paralyzed moment.” He rambled about being out of work for 4-5 days, then changed the “flips” to 14 times, and started complaining about his AC being broken and sitting in a hot house with the windows down. He said he was going back to the hospital but couldn’t afford to miss more work.
I was a complete mess. I was bawling, devastated for his son, whom I still care about deeply.
Then came the truth. He doesn’t know I’m still in contact with his first ex-wife. I texted her immediately, asking if there was anything I could do. She was utterly confused. I asked about her son (my ex’s 18-year-old), and she told me he was in his bed, watching TV with his girlfriend. I even asked for picture proof, and she sent it.
It was all a lie. No accident, no hospital, no injuries. Nothing.
His own mother (my ex’s first wife) is now furious that he used their child, who he is currently suing over an Amazon charge, as some twisted form of pity or manipulation. It’s absolutely disgusting.
I was having such a great birthday, and now I have a splitting headache from crying over absolutely nothing. How could someone lie so maliciously and graphically about their own child? I’m just reeling.
TL;DR: My incredibly manipulative ex-husband, who barely speaks to his older kids (18M, 15F), called me drunk on my birthday to spin a horrific, graphic lie about our 18M stepson being in a life-threatening car accident. I cried my eyes out, only to find out from his first ex-wife (who my ex blocked but I’m friends with) that his son is perfectly fine at home. He’s actively suing this same kid over an Amazon charge, and used him for a disgusting pity play on my birthday.