My wife has a pregnancy kink. It’s not like I’m just finding out about it out of the blue, but she also wasn’t completely open about it from the beginning of our relationship. She refuses to say she has a kink or to label it as anything really. Kinks are “weird” and “gross” to her. She’s sort of shy about many things when it comes to sex and I feel like I learn new things about her, sexually, all the time. That’s kind of exciting in a way, and I’m happy when she decides to be more open and uninhibited with me, because I know it’s hard for her.
I’d say this pregnancy thing has trickled out over time, but recently some new things have come to light, things she’s shared with me that she wasn’t open about before.
She’s not on birth control. We use condoms sometimes, but we mainly use the pull out method. I know that’s not actually reliable birth control, but that’s not the point here. If a married couple agrees to the risks, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business. But the reason why we use this method is because the risk of pregnancy or being able to feel like she’s getting pregnant is a turn on to the point where she can’t get turned on if that risk isn’t there. Sometimes I don’t pull out (agreed upon by both of us, I’d never do that without her permission). During those times, it’s always when chances are lowest that she’ll get pregnant (aka timing of her cycle indicates it’s not near ovulation). She doesn’t actually want to get pregnant. She says she doesn’t even know for sure that she wants kids ever.
Sometimes we watch porn together when having sex. She’s a lot pickier about what we watch than I am, but she usually wants me to find something to turn on. Until recently, she had been too embarrassed to share anything she liked watching (she watches porn on her own too). She got frustrated one night when she was struggling to orgasm during sex, so she asked to turn on some porn – and this time she wanted to pick it out. I thought that was great, she was finally going to share one of her favorites with me. The video featured a heavily pregnant woman having sex. She told me she almost always watches pregnancy porn. I had a hard time being aroused by it. I don’t think pregnant women are unattractive but there’s just something uncomfortable for me watching a pregnant woman have sex, especially since so much of the attention was on the woman’s belly. It felt wrong to me, like I’d only want to be i to that if it was my partner who was pregnant, not a random pregnant woman posting sex videos online.
She tends to be uninhibited once she gets very turned on. It’s before that when she’s very shy about things. So while still riding the high of her arousal after watching this video, she was telling me about some of her favorite videos she tends to go back to over and over and she told me she watches videos of women giving birth and gets off to these videos. This really disturbs me. I mean, I feel like I’ve been so open to everything else she’s told me and I’m so willing to try new things, but watching women give birth and masturbating over that? We’re talking about birth videos that weren’t made for the purposes of porn, and I think that’s crosses the line and honestly I’m so turned off about the thought.
I haven’t told her how turned off I am about what she told me. I told her she has a pregnancy kink and she got mad, swore she didn’t. I don’t know what else you’d call it. Its taken so long to get her to be more open sexually and to share things with me, so if I share how I really feel I worry she’ll completely shut me out and won’t tell me anything anymore. At the same time, I dont want to watch pregnancy porn with her and there’s no way I will ever have sex while watching a woman give birth – I don’t even think I could physically be turned on enough to have sex. I don’t really want to spend my life having to cater to this kink every time we have sex, and it seems like she can’t get aroused unless pregnancy is involved. So, not that I’m an expert, but when you need the kink to get off and you have to incorporate it every single time, that’s a problem to me.
It feels gross just typing this. I’m not about to tell any of my friends that my wife has a pregnancy fetish…that’s what it is…not even a kink but a fetish. I don’t think I could say it out loud because it’s just so weird to me. Honestly, if she’d been up front about this at the beginning of our relationship I probably wouldn’t have continued it for much longer because it’s just not something that I also enjoy.
Comments
Get a vasectomy.
And maybe an Organo Egg for the wife.
It just got worse and worse 😭😭
Well oh my goodness that is a lot to handle. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable
Wow that’s a lot. You should never do something you aren’t comfortable with just because someone else wants you to. I hope you’re able to come to an understanding with her.
Getting off on childbirth videos is insane
childbirth videos and masturbation should never be in the same sentence
I mean this as nice as possible…I beg your finest fkn pardon? It just kept getting worse….this is truly beyond Reddit’s pay grade….
I’m honestly speechless…🥲🫣
Nah, it was all good IMO until the birthing videos, that’s crazy. My “friend” tells me that I don’t have a kink it’s just biology… Your wife deff has a kink hahaha. Sorry OP, but you don’t have to engage in the kinks that she has that are outside of your confort zone, and there is nothing to gain by making her agree that it is a kink. If she struggle’s to get there again and you don’t want to watch a video just dirt talk about putting a babby in her belly it will do the trick.
Im into some unhinged stuff but Birth videos cross the line jeeeesus
If she CAN’T get there without thinking about it, it’s past kink and into fetish territory and she’s gonna have to accept that at some point. Because watching childbirth videos??? Uhhhhhhhhhh. And also, the whole risk thing when she’s not sure if she wants kids? That’s… bordering unconscionable.
I have….no words…I saw a comment that said it just got worse and worse and it wasn’t until I read the post that I realized they were right.
As a pregnant woman reading your post I feel very disturbed. It just got worse and worse as I read it.
Your wife really does have something wrong with her I’m sorry. It’s actually really sick and perverse. I don’t know how she can find that arousing? 🤢
I’m sorry but you need to be telling it like it is and just let her know what you think. There is something very strange going on with her. Yeah I get people have fetishes and kinks we may not understand but this in particular seems very wrong and concerning…. I would be very careful having a child with her honestly.
Is this real?
She gets off on women GIVING BIRTH?!!?!?!!
Ummmmm that’s sick, there’s something wrong with her. She needs help. I’d run for the hills if I was you. No no no, NOPE.
Your wife bamboozled you. She knew her “kink” wasn’t one you would share so she hid it. Until she needed to get off and couldn’t hide it anymore. She crumbed you so you would “eventually” be ok with it. Personally I wouldn’t ever have sex with her again and I would look at whether that’s a relationship you want to continue.
Orgasm to a childbirth video? I can’t unread what I just read.
To each their own…. But No to birthing videos. I feel your point. You two need to have a very serious conversation. This will eventually affect your sex life as it already is because she doesn’t get aroused any other way.
People have kinks and fetishes. In most cases partners have to be comfortable with what is happening. You aren’t comfortable with some of what she likes. A deep conversation needs to happen.
Congratulations, you are going to have a baby sooner or later and that child will be fucked up. Great job
Get a fucking vasectomy if you don’t want kids but stop buying into your wifes irresponsible kink
Dude, that is some wild shit, lol.
Good luck.
If this is real, you 100% need to go to couples counseling to navigate this, definitely above reddit’s pay grade. I have no words, this is very disturbing.
Geeze you really buried the lead there lol It started with breeding kink, then pregnancy fetish, and ended with a birth video fetish. The first two are incredibly common actually but the last one is…a lot. I mean I guess the best you can do is try to have an open conversation with her. One, to see what about this gets her off and two, to set clear boundaries. Explain that you compromised with the pregnant women porn (at the time) but the birthing porn is an absolute boundary and you don’t want to cross it. Maybe even try to compromise on how often you use her porn. You’re allowed to set boundaries. But if you want nothing to do with it at all then you definitely need to have that conversation.
To add which you touched on: I know this isn’t the point I guess its just more of a fun fact lol but given that she has to have it to get off its a fetish not a kink. Kink is a take it or leave it activity. A fetish is something you have to have to get off or aroused.
✨ 🌈 The more you know 🌈 ✨
I will say only slightly in her defense and I do mean slightly, there is a massive difference between fantasizing about pregnancy and actually having one. Many women and men fantasize about letting go and enjoying the risk and raising a village. The issue is the pain, unrest, work, nausea etc to say thing of the money. To those who manage to have a brood and raise them to be good honest people and have a decent living you deserve better from the world. But many times once you actually have to go through the entire thing the fantasy become reality.
I don’t know how this built up and I suspect she’s caught in a vicious loop where she both deeply wants a child but is deathly afraid of one.
I know you are sickened of what she’s doing but if you truly love her as a partner than you need to tell her you are very worried and she needs help. If you value each other she will listen to you. She’s already shared what others would feel shame over, so clearly she trusts you. Trust her, talk to her wall through what is going on her head, tell her she needs more help than you can give but she needs to trust you to find it.
“she doesn’t even know if she wants kids”
ah, yes. the world definitely needs more children that are unplanned and unwanted by their parents.
get her on birth control or get a vasectomy. this is absolutely the last person you should be wanting to have a child with.
If a man told you the same things your wife is telling you…how would you feel? It’s no different.
RUN.
i-… now i’m pretty kinky i’m ngl but this is.. wtf.
You can condition yourself out of a fetish. It’s not easy, but it can be done. She needs to try that like… yesterday. Everything up to the birthing videos was a bit odd (and I can understand being frustrating for you always needing to include something you’re not interested in), but mostly harmless. The watching birthing videos for sexual gratification is inexcusable. They were not made for a sexual purpose, and it feels like a violation to be using them like that. Honestly, I don’t know how a normal person could even enjoy that- between seeing another person in pain and the fact that there’s a baby in the video. I understand that you want her to be open with you, but this fetish has gone too far. Try having a conversation where you express to her that you love when she is open with you, but that you’re no longer comfortable involving pregnancy related things in your sex life, and then suggest seeing a sex therapist together to help find ways to make sex enjoyable for both of you.
Spray holy water and burn the sage around her because what the actual fkty fk
she may be the executive assistant at my current employer lol
I wish I could go back 5 mins ago and undo me opening this app.
if this isn’t grounds for divorce idk what is! 😭
I’m sorry OP, this would be deal breaking for me. She doesn’t have a pregnancy kink, she has a birthing kink. And it’s borderline CP honestly. She needs serious help but she doesn’t even acknowledge it as a problem. What if she feels emboldened enough to lie about the timing of her cycle and get pregnant on purpose just to do it herself?
Gahhhh need eye bleach. Why did I read that??
Non-American here:
What’s the difference between a fetish and a kink?
You have to tell her it makes you uncomfortable. You can tell her you value her vulnerability in opening up, but that you also need to share. Tell her you two need to find something that is a turn-on to both of you.
It sounds like even before this latest disclosure, your sex life revolved around her needs. It should revolve around you both.
Tell her you cannot share the birthing thing with her. She will have to do that on her own.
If you two can’t find common ground, that is important information for your relationship.
And if you don’t want to continue having sex without condoms, TELL HER. It is unacceptable for you to be making yourself psychologically uncomfortable during sex.
You need to stop treating her sexuality as more important than your own. They are equally important.
It is possible to treat her disclosures with sensitivity and care while also respecting your own needs.
Okay but this man posted all this, said how disgusted he was by it, but then proceeds to nut in her and follows up with “but we don’t actually want kids right now.” Like buddy, what the fuck do you think happens when you nut in a vagina??
Yeah this a gross and would be a dealbreaker for me
Maybe get one of those dildos that has “eggs” or blobs that come out of it… into the person and the person squeezes them out? I don’t know.. but I’d start there. Maybe get big ones?
Cause the “full” feeling is what she might like as well.
This could be a less expensive adventure than a child and birthing
I get having a breeding kink…but wow. I’m speechless.
If shes not willing to have a conversation with u abt it and see where you’re coming from i dont think yall are very compatible. Getting off to childbirth videos is insane. Also if shes not even sure she wants a kid yet you should absolutely be using protection every time, its irresponsible to bring a child into the world if theres a chance it wont be wanted its whole life.
Alright, I just want to point something out here. A pregnancy kink is a thing, but that’s involving what the woman’s body is like during pregnancy, and THAT is the turn on. If this is indeed extending beyond that and into the actual giving birth of a child, this is now involving a literal infant in her pleasure and that is not ok. She needs very serious help. I can promise you there is not one person consenting to the video of their child being born being used in that way. You need to confront this with her and get her some serious help. This is not normal, and don’t let this continue any longer. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, I can not even imagine.
Also, just for a note and some education for those reading – I am a midwife.
There are indeed people who will have sex and orgasm while laboring. But in my experience this is very rare, and not done for pleasure. People will sometimes have sex very early into labor to try and increase oxytocin (the ‘love hormone’ released with kissing, hugging, etc, and strongly released with orgasm) that the body makes as a way to speed labor along, as well as for the benefits semen provides for labor (prostaglandins, the mediators of labor) And occasionally an orgasm can happen when giving birth without purposely trying to have one, a combination of the correct nerves being stimulated and the hormones present. I have NEVER heard of someone having sex in labor because the idea of that turns them on. That would be a major red flag to me as a provider, and as I said before, this woman needs help.
This is wild. Unless some serious therapy is in the future, I’m not sure your marriage can survive this. If she NEEDS this stuff to enjoy sex and it completely disgusts you, it’s just not gonna work.
Not sure if I will be ready for the “well guys, she’s pregnant ” update. But I still want the tea.
Wtf Reddit
Wouldn’t birthing videos involve babies? So she’s technically masturbating while looking at babies?
I thought a pregnancy fetish was when women wanted to constantly BE pregnant. Like how you explained the beginning part. Using pull-out method so the chance is always there and that stuff.
NONE of the rest of what you wrote makes any sense to me. I had no idea that pregnancy porn (the giving birth part) even existed!
I need to go bleach my brain now.
Bro you need to use condoms all the time. I have no problem with ppl using the pull out method bc I’ve used it too, but she doesn’t even know if she wants kids? So what does she plan to do if she does get pregnant?! Y’all are being really irresponsible for doing this while not knowing if you truly want kids.
Hey so this is insane….. but if you love your wife and want to stay married you gotta have a serious convo about this. If it were me, i would approach the conversation as: “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t share what turns you on with me, but i need you to be real and confront what this is and stop living in denial. I love you but in order for us to move forward and keep the conversation open and nonjudgmental, i need you to address and accept that this is a fetish.” And then i would go from there. If she refuses to look at this from any other lens than her own then idk I’m just a person on the internet. If she won’t get a therapist, maybe you should get one to get some insight from an expert. A sex therapist or a regular therapist idk. A professional is needed here fr.
Listen, you can’t control what turns you off. You being turned off by this does not make you a bad person.
I’m not for kink shaming but I’m with you on finding this a hard pill to swallow.
It takes a lot to make me uncomfortable and I’ve read some fucked up stuff on here but I’m not gonna lie this one got me.
Damn what’s she going to do once she hits menopause?i wonder if she will be able to get turned on at all.
Maybe she’s turned on by the fact that genitalia gets over stimulated during childbirth and engorged. Ivr been on the internet long enough to know that There’s some truly “eye-opening” videos on “pumping” for engorgement. Try that..
She has no kids, right? She might seriously change her mind after giving birth herself…..or maybe not….
I understand why she was shy about it
Go to a sex therapist as a couple. You can have a healthy space to both voice your wants and needs, and also your boundaries without judgement. You can probably find some middle ground here. (From a person whose a little kinky that is with someone into some WILD shit)
Be careful about a real pregnancy with all this mess in your head. If can’t handle her fetishized it would be a huge mistake to have a baby with her.
It’s a hard situation OP for you, but I think there’s anything else you can do but be honest and talk to her.
Nah. This is perverse and fucked up. Your wife is fundamentally fucked up. This, to me, borders on men admitting to being into little girls/boys under the guise of something disgusting like DDLG.
This isn’t normal and I’m no advocate for divorce but yeah. That’s the way to go from here.
Sounds like she needs to chill on the porn all together. Too much porn can be very desensitizing to the point where she needs birthing videos to get off, which is WILD.
I will now require an hour of eye bleach after reading this.
Bro… that’s not a pregnancy kink. Pregnancy kinks are like… I think it’s hot to have sex while you’re pregnant. Like pregnant women are hot etc.
That’s a childbirth fetish.
You know what…. It’s my fault for having eyes
Some days the price you pay for knowing how to read is just too damn high. I wish I could forget this post.
I think we need to be saying the quiet part out loud here. Getting off to any videos that include a child is disgusting and morally very not okay. If this isn’t simply about having a kink for girth and pain then there’s a serious problem here.
Even if it isn’t centered around the child specifically, including children in anything that you’re gratifying yourself to sexually is crossing a serious moral boundary and yes, I would say it inches into pedophilic territory.
I think you do have to say something to her, this isn’t something you can just sweep under the rug. It calls for a serious conversation, and as others have said, I think both of you should seek therapy for different reasons.
I do not envy you for what is about to transpire in your life, but you should be proud of yourself for having the discernment to know when something just isn’t right even when someone you love is doing/saying it.
you have my well wishes, I hope you come out the other end of this feeling stronger for having conviction in your beliefs.
Everyday the internet humbles me that I’m no where near as kinky or freaky as I think.
Whatever her fucked up problem is, you’re just as bad for putting both of you in the position to be parents. You’re acting like she is just grossing you out which is understandable, but you’re also absolutely going to get her pregnant by having sex this way. Guaranteed. I can’t even believe this is real, masturbating to birth videos. The fuck. Sure but shoot your load all up in her uterus, Einstein. I can’t.
OP- you seem like a really nice guy, and you seem to have put a lot of love into this relationship.
However- this new secret is going to really put a lot of pressure on your marriage. It’s going to haunt the ever living shit out of your sex life 10000% (i mean it already has but it also will have a permanent impact).
I’d say there’s your reason she was so shy about her sex life for so long. Because it’s fucking weird. It’s a kink/fetish to the nth degree- the denial is immature and also maybe to her labeling it as that makes her feel
shame.
I personally used to know a girl who had a pregnancy fetish but not like this, not masturbating to child birth videos
I know this is rough- but if I were you- I’d sit her down and have a serious conversation discussing your future from here and discuss the possibility of marriage counseling.
Ask yourself this- do you deserve to live through the rest of your marriage knowing that
a) shes risking pregnancy for a fetish and potentially having a child that she’s not even sure she’s ready for? (Selfish, tbf)
b) she pleasures herself to bloody, gutsy, gory home movies of a new born fetus stretching and ripping apart a woman’s vagina?
c) she’s trying to get you into this too, when you pretty much are loathsome of this idea?
Like I don’t wanna be that person- but you said it yourself that if you’d known, likely wouldn’t have come as far as you have here.
Expecting you to partake in something like that is just… well not ok if its not your thing.. These sorts of things unfortunately don’t just go away.
This is a marriage destroyer if both sides don’t reciprocate… or possibly at minimal a gaping wound to your marriage. I think couples therapy would be a good place to start to strategically make the next move relationship-wise.
Best of luck OP- this was a hard read. I pity you. But you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders- so I trust you’ll figure this one out <3
If I found out someone was getting off to my birth video, I’d be so disgusted and humiliated I probably wouldn’t even film any following births. This is awful and for her to say it’s not a kink is CRAZY I don’t have any advice op but if you don’t figure something out you absolutely will be catering to it every time you have sex.
It’s my fault for knowing how to read
What an awful day to have eyes.
At the start I was like yeah, getting pregnant can be a turn on because that’s the “point” of sex is to make babies. BUT then you got the the childbirth section and I’m like what… that’s WILD MATE
THERAPY!!!!1!1!!!!1!
The worry here is that she isn’t even sure she wants kids and you’re not using birth control. Your poor kid. 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻
MEN IN BLACK, GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW AND DON’T FORGET THE FLASHY THING!!
damn what did I read
Your wife needs to seek help.
This… is something only a trained professional can handle. My lord, have you talked to her about it? Maybe she has a breeding kink you guys can experiment with safely but the part with the live birth videos… Jesus…
Maybe. Hopefully, this is one of those kinks she thinks she has but it’s actually not tied to the birthing process but the risk involved giving her the thrill?
I know the birth fetish is indescribably bizarre but I’m still stuck on y’all regularly having to watch porn during sex to be turned on… that’s not normal, no matter what kind of porn
You let this go on way too fucking long
What’s next? She says she’s into piss porn and you’re gonna let her go on you everytime? NUH UH, ain’t a chick hot enough to make go through with any of this.
I’ve seen a couple people post about kink vs. fetish with regard to needing the “topic” to be present. I feel this needs to be at least posted to inform people 🙂
So, what we are talking about with this partner isn’t a kink or a fetish, but a paraphilia due to her not being able to be turned on when pregnancy/birthing is not present.
Specific to Post
From the post, it seems that she is teetering on the line between justing having a Paraphilia and potentially having a paraphilic disorder (i can make that distinction if anyone wants to hear about it).
It definitely sounds like a deal breaker for you, OP, and that’s absolutely valid! You need to do what’s best for you and your comfort level. She definitely should be addressing the root of this fixation, especially since it’s to the point of watching birth videos. That is definitely a red flag+
I feel sick.
I completely understand how you’re turned off. You need a frank conversation about this, not only is that not a kink (getting off to birthing videos), you shouldn’t be needing to watch porn every time you have sex.
Honestly this is probably the end, because unless she gets help, you’re going to be grossed out knowing what she’s thinking about!!!
Damn that’s disgusting lol. Your wife needs a therapist bro.
I feel like kink shaming is valid here because what? I’d never feel comfortable being intimate with a partner who gets off on that ever again, it’s creepy. Apologies for the situation you’re stuck in OP!
I’m ngl I wouldn’t want to have children with this woman and given how it’s going you will eventually make one.
I’m convinced she will manipulate you into impregnating her “accidentally” and then you’re stuck with someone who masturbates to your child’s birth
This is entirely above Reddit’s pay grade. I genuinely suggest couple’s therapy. Y’all need to be able to have conversations about serious things without either of you shutting down.
I don’t necessarily think there’s something “wrong” with your wife, not that I’m qualified to even comment on that anyway, just… Get someone to have y’all talk this out.
You can’t control her, but you can control you. If you don’t want to watch pregnancy porn while your have sex / in order to have sex, then don’t. Don’t shame her of course, there may be some unknown deep hidden reason why she gets off to this, but unless y’all talk this out, the only thing you can do is just not participate.
Uh… Good luck dude.
Would she find giving birth to her own child a turn on? Like would she want to make porn of herself when pregnant ? Like ANYTHING to do with kids is ULTIMATELY screwed up. Like I wouldn’t even trust her around certain people. Like barf. This scared my brain into hibernation that people even like that sorta shiz.
Freeze your baby batter, get a vasectomy, then kink away.
Not the childbirth videos.. that’s not right..
Many people find a bump erotic, probably because it’s natural and a hardwired result of fertility and the outcome of sex. Where it crosses some kink lines is needing it for arousal, and the birth porn thing is just a little weird tbh, that’s something else’. I would avoid kink shaming her, but you also should be open about not finding it a turn on, so she knows it’s for her privately only.
You honestly sound sexually incompatible. For many people, a working sex life is detrimental to a marriage. There are many puzzle pieces that have to fit together so both be happy and resentment doesn’t build. You have to communicate everything with her and be clear that her fetish makes you very uncomfortable. Be very sensitive to the fact that she obviously trusts you with it so don’t shame her. You both also probably need professional help to settle into something manageable if you want to stay married.
All I’m gonna say, fetish aside, it’s pretty fked up to risk bringing a child into the world when no one is sure they want it. That’s cruel and selfish. Maybe you should get a vasectomy (reversible) to stop that happening and still have the ‘fantasy’ of her getting preggo
Sounds like she is repressed to hell by the shame of it but also gets off to said shame & acceptance from you.
I’d imagine step 1 is her admitting she has a kink/fetish and to a certain extent stop stigmatizing the concept of it. Is she a super judgey person who feels like she has to be perfect or something bc if so it kinda tracks.
The cognitive dissonance from this post is astounding that she even feels she has room to judge anyone about a kink/fetish. Either way sounds like some form of therapy needs to happen, best of luck to ya.
I really feel this needs to be talked about with her. It’s not right.