When we were dating she wasn’t great but I felt like she was improving over time and starting to get it. But since we’ve been married she’s regressed and I just get purse lipped grandmotherly kisses. Sometimes when she’s a little drunk I’ll get like half an actual kiss but that’s it. I send her all the signals that I want her to kiss me like that, but she either doesn’t get it or just doesn’t like kissing I guess?
She’s still easily the best person I’ve ever dated, but I do wish she liked kissing/knew how to kiss and that we vibed more on a physical level. I feel bad for even typing this but it actually does really bother me sometimes.
Comments
I love the fact that 95% of these relationship posts could be solved by just fucking talking to the other person
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since you re married i think its okay to asume you re an adult. then why the fuck are you talking to strangers in the internet but not your frigging wife? Man up Dude-.-
Your wife actually kisses you?
Since you asked this on Reddit, the only answer is divorce. Lawyer up and protect your assets before you pull the trigger, because she of course sounds unhinged and off the rails.
Duuuuude. There’s a much bigger problem here. Kissing is intimacy, she’s pulling back from intimacy for some reason, but you have to actually talk to each other to resolve it. Maybe it’s because she feels like you can’t talk to each other and so she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, maybe she’s bristling because she feels that kissing always leads to sex and doesn’t want to “lead you on” only to reject an advance (yes this is extremely common in relationships with low intimacy but it’s fixable), maybe your breath smells and she doesn’t want to tell you, maybe she’s got a rotten tooth and doesn’t want you to know, maybe she got cursed by a witch, who knows! Not you, until you talk to her!
when I was 9, my so called “friend” who was my grandma gave me an atomic warhead disguised in a wherthers originals wrapper and well… needless to say, it literally blew my mouth straight off my face, obliterating my lips which sprayed all over the room like when you see one of them beached whales get filled with the dynamite and exploded because what else is they supposed to do with a whole whale, just stinkin up a public beach?
So anyways, there’s obviously nothing to sew back on and this was before that one chinese guy invented the thing where they use stem cells to grow a new mouth on the back of a rat. It sounds fake AF but it totally real, look it up! And lots of people be like “you don’t want no rat mouth” and I’m all “speak for yourself cause id much rather had got a rat mouth than what I got now”.
This is back in the 80s, when they was experimenting with grafts and grafting techniques, so my mom she got this doctor who said he do the whole thing for free cause she ain’t got no insurance, but he said I just had to be part of a trial for a new surgery technique he was working and and she said ok that fine cause right now I ain’t got no mouth and she ain’t got no money anyways.
So anyways what had happened was he literally cut off my b-hole and glued it to my face where my mouth had used to be.
So now I just got a regular hole where my b-hole should be, and people call me buttface and they ain’t lyin.
You complaining about how your wife be kissing you, but you think anyone gonna be kissing up on the guy with the ass lips? You think any amount of brushing and wet wipes gonna make my breath not stink like s#it?
Maybe you should just be appreciative of what you got.
She doesn’t feel comfortable being intimate with you. Talk to a counselor together to see why.
My wife has this problem with me, and has voiced it a couple times. I try to give her “make out sessions” when things get hot and heavy because I know she likes it but honestly it kind of grosses me out. She has good dental hygiene and everything, it’s just I don’t really want to drink her spit and the thought of it kind of turns my stomach. Make sure you’re taking good care of your teeth though, brush your tongue too and use mouthwash and see what happens!
Gonna ask something a bit uncomfortable; but how is your oral hygiene or how is hers?
Who still kisses when they’re married 😨
Tell her. Just let her know politely that it’s something that’s been bothering you and you want to work together to keep the affection in your relationship alive
Teach her how to fucking kiss, man
When kissing her, initiate tongue slowly and lightly. She likely never has done it so she’s not confident enough to attempt and get embarrassed at failing
Going in too hard and fast will only surprise her and make her retreat. Do a few mouth pecks for a few seconds, go to heavier closed mouth kissing for a few seconds, then just the tip to try and get her to join in
Ask her “do you like when I put my tongue in your mouth?” or something along those lines. Bring it up like you just now had this thought pop up in her head. Maybe even, “I just realized that we don’t __ very much, do you want to try it?” And maybe some fun jokes or flirting with it
DONT call her out for “not liking it” or say “have you ever…” It will just make her embarrassed. Thats one of those situations thats a little awkward and difficult to navigate around in order to keep her spirits up
>I send her all the signals that I want her to kiss me like that…
She isn’t a mind reader OP.
Stop sending “signals” and tell her, using your words, what you like.
SMH.
As someone who misses every signal in the book, just talk to her. Take the lead and show her. It’s as simple as Babe, I wanna make out with you like we are teenagers. This is where I would go into a fit of laughter. Explain to her what you just told us without using the word you. Make the problem yours it will cause way less issues. I’m sure ya’ll can come up with a game plan after that. Make the conversation light and fun and more about you wanting to explore and be spontaneous
Then teach her, dummy.
I had this issue with my husband, but I was the issue, haha. Just talk to her. My husband talked to me. How hard is to TALK? Damn. A relationship is based in a lot of comunication. Work on it, put some effort.
My ex wife was a terrible kisser. My wife now is a great kisser. Obviously the solution is to get a divorce and then get married again to someone else who kisses better. Bam, problem solved.
You sure you aren’t the bad kisser? I just ask because someone who is a bad kisser will usually continue to be bad in the same style, not revoke access. Only pursed lipped kisses? She doesn’t want you in there, dude.
I have heard of a situation like this where the guy had poor oral hygiene and the girl loved him but didn’t want to hurt/confront him. Not saying it is your situation, but it is important to brush at least morning and night and floss daily.
My husband is not a good kisser, either. But that’s not a deal breaker for me. We’ve been married for 23 years. He’s plenty good at doing other things.
Do you own a copy of partners in passion by mark and Patricia?
My past boyfriend thought he was a good kisser but no, about the same as you, tight lipped
I don’t know your situation. But I can tell you how my marriage went. The first 5 years or so of our 23 year relationship, all bets were off and anything goes. It was good. The next 5 years we were child bearing, and she was motivated. But it was all in service of having kids. Then after the kids she slowly pulled back most things. Kissing like making out was rare. And sex moved to where only three positions were acceptable, her on top, doggystyle and missionary. You can imagine this turned it into a routine, more than an adventure. Also her pace slowed down to an unacceptable level to me, and it caused issues in our relationship.
Morale of the story. if she doesn’t like kissing like that, it won’t change. So get used to it.
Wait, you are still kissing?
She gives great head though
I can relate, if you’ve been together long enough to be married, just talk her through it. If she doesn’t like kissing that much, or doesn’t like tongue action, try a bit of compromise and see if she gets into it, if not it’s just one of those things you’ll have to live with.
But yeah, divorce her btw.
Dude talk to your wife.
My ex husband turned into a bad kisser the last few years of our marriage. The ones that were bad only occurred while we were being intimate but it was like he was sucking my face off shoving his tongue into my mouth. I would try to avoid it by turning my head to the side or whatever. He used to kiss good. But after a while of being with someone, the passionate kissing seems to taper off for the most part. Maybe I’m wrong.
Have you tried talking to her? Extreme I know, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Mate, you had years to teach her
Has your oral hygiene remained the same? Has your kissing style? Because when I was dating, one thing sure to make my kisses increasingly pursed was if every kiss led to having a slimy tongue unexpectedly jammed all the way into my mouth. I like open mouth kissing with reasonable tongue, but I don’t like tasting each other’s tonsils.
Like everything on Reddit, the answer is TALK TO YOUR FUCKING WIFE
Is this not something you can talk about with her instead of Reddit?
How tf do you send signals that you want her to kiss you better, oh my god I’m crying! Hahaha
Kissing? Bro who cares be a man we don’t need kisses
Sounds like you guys need to practice more often
Can confirm. Your wife is a bad kisser.
She might think it’s gross… she might be self-conscious about her breath… your breath might be bad… maybe she’s a germaphobe
You won’t know until you talk to her.
Have you tried to talk to the lady? 😂😅 seems like the simplest answer
Talk to your wife about kissing —- I have nerve damage in my lips so kissing doesn’t always feel fun sometimes it’s weird as hell and I have had to explain that to my partner
Oh no. Communication is required between the two people in a relationship. Wrap it up, close it down, this shit’s over.
And you haven’t thought to tell her this? Not once? Come on bro
OK so when you say that you “send her signals” does this include opening your mouth and issuing words from it? I mean you are married to this woman. Open your mouth and speak to her. Tell her that you want to kiss more. Tell her with your words
I’m a wife that doesn’t like kissing. I have sensory issues plus eczema. My lips easily crack. And his beard is itchy. And I hate the taste of coffee, which he has a lot. I have to be super horny or tipsy to kiss well. My poor husband. At least I have a flexible, curvy body and higher libido. 🤷♀️
JUST TALK TO HER ABOUT IT
Dude! Holy cow I’m not alone!
Granted, I (41f) was my boyfriend’s (42m) first…..everything. Like, holding hands and more, everything. So i feel like a complete failure. We started dating ten years ago and i dunno what happened.
He told me he was a virgin after we just had sex. I freaked out. Almost hyperventilating freaked out. I don’t know why. I just never never never wanted to be anyone’s first. He didn’t tell me before to let me choose. I was upset but we stayed together.
After that, i felt weird about teaching him how to do anything sexually. He is a pecker instead of a sensual kisser. If anyone has any advice on how a woman is supposed to teach a man how to kiss properly, please let me know. Cause i have no clue and realize now this is probably why i never wanted to be anyones first.
Get a girl on the side that is it.
I had an ex who kissed like your wife. I tried talking to him, but he just wasn’t into it. It wasn’t his thing.
Another ex, I talked to him and I explained I wanted a build up and bit of tongue, lip sucking and nibbling. She took it all on board 🔥
Another ex… He would kiss so aggressively he’d make me bleed. I tried talking to him a couple of times, but he always responded with, ‘I follow your queue’.
I’m going to assume you’ve talked to her. You’ll need to talk to her again.
Get her to watch a YouTube video on kissing or something
I’m a woman who finds kissing kind of gross. I’m only willing to do more than a peck after we’ve both freshly brushed our teeth.
Sometimes the answer is compromising in the middle.
My husband has thick lips, he’s never deep kissed me, he seems to avoid using his tongue
And Google
She might not be a fan of kissing. To be honest kissing grosses me out. I love my boyfriend but his tongue always has like a thick coating of saliva. Thicker than normal I feel Ike and it makes me want to gag. I wish I enjoyed it more tho.
I think you need to purchase a space ship and put her on it when she is sleeping. Someone like that should live on mars, not earth.
Omg just tell her and you could turn it fun and say “let’s practice” so she doesn’t feel disgusting about herself
How good is your oral hygiene? You may stink!
Kiss? What’s that??
She sure is.
Just talk to her, ffs she’s your wife. When my fiancee and I are kissing during love making she will tell me I’m using too much tongue (cause I get lost in the moment 😅) and then I adjust and keep going. It’s not that hard.
OMG same! I complained about it for a long time. Sometimes I would grab her face so she would open her mouth/kinda make fish lips. She got better but it’s still a work in progress. And I don’t remember what it’s like kissing someone else cuz it’s been so long so I probably don’t have a good opinion of how the current kissing situation is.
Funny thing is she’s better when she’s drunk or when things are hot and heavy. The less she can think about it the better. It’s like she doesn’t know how to be passionate.
So glad I saw this post. I thought I was alone
Also initiating sex is awkward. She wants it but the get the passion flowing is a chore cuz she’s bad at kissing and it’s like her body just doesn’t pick up on my hand placements or something. I dunno. We’ve figured it out tho. Took like 10 years but it’s not so awkward anymore lol
It sounds like she’s giving you “front lawn pecks before leaving for work” when you want “bedroom kisses”. It sounds less like a problem of bad kisses and more a case if not agreeing on what kisses are supposed to be. Both types are valid and both have their appropriate time.
Maybe you can try discussing the issue by not using the word kissing since it can mean anything from a peck on the cheek to make out session. Using peck and smooch might be the trick communicating your needs
Skill issue
check your breath
Do you brush your teeth regularly?
I beg to differ
Marrying someone you don’t like kissing is a bold move
You should talk to her. As a survivor of abuse/grooming that included, but was not limited to kissing, sometimes “passionate” kisses give me major ick. And I’m neurospicy, so that definitely adds to my reasons too. Most times, I just like little pecks (grandma kisses) or a few light/short open mouth kisses. In order for me to do the whole tonsil hockey thing, I have to really be in the mood for it. Or warmed up.
This was something that was communicated between my partner and I. Because at first, he thought I just didn’t like kissing him (I was afraid to be open with him in the beginning). Which wasn’t the case. But thanks to the communication, my BF and I have reached level ground on the topic and reached a place where we both are satisfied without much compromise from either one of us.
Maybe she doesn’t like kissing a fart inside a fart
Fuck her in the ass
Well, if you “send her all the signals” then I guess there’s really nothing to be done. No point in actually talking to your actual wife about your actual feelings. Have you tried asking random strangers on the street?
Man. What a shit post😑
good lord, just tell her, that you love kissing her, but would prefer another way and don’t like the way, she is low efforting it. thats all, happy marriage and all, you are made for each other…
As a woman, i don’t like kissing. I don’t like slobber around my lips, and I don’t like skin to skin contact on my face like that. I always end up breaking out.
Teach her how to kiss dammit!
Marriage makes woman regress because they got ya…they take less care of themselves and trying to please compared to when they were single and dating…when they’re single it’s survival based so that can trap a man….after marriage that same effort is not required anymore…watch them and how they change after a divorce…
Do you ever just grab her face with both of Your hands And just make out with her? I guess I’m just saying instead of going in for a kiss because I personally just expect a smooch when My man is just swooping in. But when he pulls me closeAnd forces me to understand that life is pausing for us to have an intimate moment, I know what’s up. I think thatYou just have to engulf your masculine energy and take the lead. You could also use a reward system. Like while she’s doing dishes interrupt her and get one of those sloppy inimate kisses then finish the dishes for her.
She doesn’t love you. A woman in passionate love kisses well. Get divorced and find someone who is genuinely attracted to you.
You probably need to improve your oral hygiene and she’s too afraid to tell you.