My wife opened our marriage, and now she claims I cheated on her. She wants a divorce.

My wife (31) and I (33) have been married for just over 4 years. I am the main bread winner and pretty much pay 2/3 if everything. I am also bisexual, and my wife is aware of this. Thank god, we signed a prenuptial agreement.

Recently, it has become a sexless marriage, especially after we had our first child. I even know when our son was consummated, due to how seldom we had sex. The night be consummated him, she told me that she felt asleep while we were busy.

She would get very mad when I just mentioned wanting sex, and had every excuse in the book to ever let us have sex. All the constant rejection has built up a lot of resentment within me towards her, so we never really got romance either. She started to claim that due to the lack of romance, that she didn’t want to have sex with me. She also claims I do 1% in the house, where I know I do just as much while she is on her phone on the couch all day. Even though we are in our 30’s, she always continue like she is 60.

She started making a habit when we fought, to say that we now have an open relationship and that I can go and have sex with whoever I want. The last time she did that, I decided to hook up with a guy, because in my mind, our relationship is over. She always said she never wanted the details or ever catch me in the act. It was the best sex I have ever had in my life, and it also made me realize that I am missing out on so much, while being in this sexless marriage.

The next day, my wife mentioned to me that I was love bombing her, and she was freaked out by it. When I tried to hold her that night, she pushed me away even. The next day, she told me that she did that because our relationship is dead, so why bother. Never did she know that the reason I was love bombing her was because I actually got my sexual needs met for a change, and that I would be more romantic if I had my needs met. Then again, she said she wanted more romance, but got freaked out when I did, so she confused me a lot. With that, I felt no regret at what I have done and realized that my marriage is not going to last.

Later that week, she wanted us to work on our relationship. Because I want to build our relationship on trust, as we always did, I told her what happened because if we want to start over, the least I can do is come clean. She was now horrified and disgusted by it and couldn’t process it. Of course, I told her she gave me permission, to which she replied that she was stupid to do so, as she expected I would stay loyal. Listen, I am in a sex starved marriage, she gives me permission and expected me to not fulfill the need she has neglected to provide!? She claims she said that to me as I always “harassed” her for sex, so she just wanted me to leave her alone.

Of course, now she wants a divorce, because she can no longer trust me. She forgets she is the one giving permission and now punishes me. Now, she goes around and tells everyone that I cheated on her with another man, without telling them that we had an open relationship agreement. She even told people to whom I have not come out of the closest with yet. She claims it is her right. She could have just claimed that I slept with someone, but she is making it a point to let people know it was a man. My parents of course are now horrified, and her parents as well. My parents even noted to me that I could have at least cheated on her with another woman. My father doesn’t even want to talk to me.

The divorce is 4 days in, and it’s already turning ugly. She doesn’t want to negotiate one bit and wants her demands met. She is also using my son against me to force me to make specific choices in her favor, which I refuse to do. Most of the things she demands, like the car which is in my name, is always for the sake of our son. She even took all the required documentation and stored it somewhere where I can’t find it, because she says she can’t trust me to not destroy the documents. The prenuptial agreement is in there, so why would I do that?

While we were “happily” married, we were also in come counseling because my wife reported that I spanked my son, which I have. My wife also has Autism and anxiety. Due to both our situations, a social worker was assigned to help us though it all. I agreed to work on my temper and I have shown a lot of progress as reported by the social worker who helped us though it all. My wife, on the other hand, has seen therapists, but nothing has changed. Now with the divorce, she demands full custody or if it is co-parenting, that my son can only visit me if a supervisor is present, because she can’t trust that I will not spank him. The issue I have with that is that she is fine leaving me with him now, unsupervised, when she needs to go somewhere. I also don’t think she understands that the court may take my son away from us both if she continues down this path. If I mention this to her, she thinks I am threatening her and our son.

My situation is not a nice one to be in and I had to get this off my chest, because I don’t have many people’s support, as my wife has turned a lot of family friends against me. Hopefully I can get some encouragement, as I truly feel like Stolas from Hell of a Boss series at the moment. I almost feel like the “open relationship” was a trap for her to get the moral high ground, as she has been constantly saying that we should divorce, and after a day or two she wants to kiss and make up. I think she really wanted a divorce, but never knew how to start it.