My Wife Suddenly Wants “It” Rough

So yeah there’s that. So my wife (40F) and me (41M) have been together for twenty years. 2 years dating and married for 18 years. We were so young and sexually inexperienced. So mostly we have been strictly vanilla. It’s been great really. No complaints on my end at least. I’m not a selfish lover either. I’ve learned my wife’s body and what she likes and what drives her crazy. Our sex life has always been good. I’m very open minded man, I don’t mind trying new things. We’ve done a few kinky things just for fun over the years. Like used toys, tried out lots of positions (broken a bed or two), did body massages, and so far and so forth. It’s always been fun, nothing too extreme or too far out.

But lately we hit a rough patch. With getting older, three kids, one kids just a few months old. We haven’t been able to be as intimate as much as we’d like to. But we have been making an effort to spend more personal time together, since the two oldest kids are in their teens, it helps alot. Even with our new baby, we’ve gotten in the swing of things. So very recently we’ve been able to schedule it out and have some “us” time especially since baby girl has started sleeping through the night.

So anyways last night we were getting into it. Ya know kissing, touching all that. But I could feel my wife wasn’t into it ya know. I was kissing and sucking all on her neck, and she smiled and exhaled and seemed a little bored. So I stop and I’m like “so what’s going on? am I doing something wrong?”

She assures me everything is fine. I can tell by her tone of voice, everything is not fine. So I’m like “come on what’s going on? is something bothering you?”

Then she does the long sigh she does just before she is about to tell me something she thinks I won’t like.

She says “honey do you ever think you could get a little rough with me?”

I’m confused. So I ask her to explain further please.

She says “maybe call me a dirty name, maybe slap my ass some when you’re back there.”

My eyes buck and I’m like whoa whoa. I never heard her talk like this.

I was like “I mean I can try. if that’s what you want.”

I never been rough with anyone before. I never even raise my voice at my wife and I always treat her with kindness and respect. Now she’s asking me to disrespect her and be a little mean in a sexy kind of way.

I wondered how long has she desired this sort of treatment. Was what we did not enough for her anymore?

I felt awkward and dumb cause I wasn’t sure what to do. I was more shocked than anything. She told me we could go slow, start with little minor things ya know, call her a dirty name, slap her ass when I’m doing it from the back. Maybe choke her a little during missionary.

I wondered had she always felt this way. Had she watched some new p_rn or something that got her curious? Was she talking with some of friends one day and they just happen to mention roughing it up?

So I asked her what brought this about. She said she just wanted to spice things up, try something, just curious to know how this would feel.

So like I said I’m open minded, I’m always up for trying something new. So I said ok let’s do a dry run.

She smiled and she seems very excited. So I get out of bed. I stand up, and I’m like “Ok so now what?”

My wife is like just talk dirty, tell me what you want and call me a dirty name.

Ok so I verify any dirty name is cool, is there anything off limits or whatever. My wife says nope just go for it.

So I puff up my chest, hands on my hips like Superman and look at her and she is just smiling and ready for instruction.

Then I say “Ok sl_t you ready to suck some c)ck”

My wife falls over with laughter. I bust out laughing cause I don’t know, I sounded like such a dweeb. Like an inexperienced teen who heard that line on a dirty movie he snuck and watched and decided to use it in real life. Such cornball energy.

I laughed and I was so embarrassed. My wife assured me that we can practice some more but she’s just glad I’m actually willing to try.

That made me feel better. It was fun, we had a good time. I love it when we can laugh and be goofballs like this. I’m just happy my wife is patient and doesn’t expect me to automatically be real good at roughing things up. But like she said she’s just glad I’m willing to try it out.

Hopefully I’ll improve my dirty talk and learn how to be rough. I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve always been very gentle with my wife. Like I said we’ve been strictly vanilla this whole time. I’m excited to try something new with her. I’m just glad she’s comfortable enough to tell me what she wants and desires. I’ve seen so many couple fall apart because of lack of communication. I’m grateful that my wife and I have an open line of communication. I really hope I can be what she needs me to be, because she’s been everything I ever wanted and needed and I just hope to be the same for her.