Throwaway account, because several people associated with this situation use reddit and I wouldn’t want this to fall back on anyone, directly.
I (36m) and my wife (28f), let’s just call her ‘K’, are high-level professionals in our field. We have put in close to a decade of training, education, and experience from all over the world into our careers and have stellar reputations and respect from some big to-do names in our industry.
At K’s job, a rare opportunity to move up the corporate ladder opened up. Naturally, she applied. She has been a part of this company for over 2 years, as a leader, mentor to the younger generations entering the field, and will often even take on extra work to help the team, when necessary.
K has also been attending online school to finish up her dream-degree, at the same time. We have 2 kids and spend regular time with them, on a daily basis.
About 6 months ago, K got a job offer from her brother’s company, offering her a higher salary, flexible schedule, travel plus expenses, and more. The position is not in her field, but she does excel at it.
K informed her current employer of the offer to which her team manager begged her not to take it, as opportunities would be arising at her current job, soon.
Being the loyal and passionate person my wife is, she stayed.
And low and behold, only a few months later, a rare management role opened up.
The position opened up suddenly and was a surprise to everyone, as this role is one people tend to hang on to, for many many years. The best part; K was a shoe-in.
She has the most seniority on her team, she wildly out-ranks even the current management team in terms of certifications and credentials, and she has been recognized repeatedly as an outstanding employee and team-member.
This promotion is highly coveted and so, naturally, many of the internal team and external applicants submitted their resumes.
Approximately 7 months ago, a new girl was hired to the team. Let’s call her B (25f). B is new the industry, this job being her first real experience in this field. Her degree has absolutely nothing to do with what my wife does at her job. B has earned a reputation with starting clicks and groups that shun others, and badmouth teammates and management. While she does her job well, she has created rifts between the team to the point that it feels like a mafia.
For those asking, I used to be on the same team and witnessed this first-hand, before I left to pursue my own venture and to ensure that I wasn’t going to get in my wife’s way for a promotion. My separation was proper, friendly, and I left with a glowing recommendation from both the team and HR.
B decided to apply for the management position, even though she doesn’t meet the positions listed qualifications which include:
• 2+ years of experience in the field (B got her training last year)
• Over 1 year of experience on a similar team (B only joined the team this past fall and before that was a school teacher)
• Experience a trainer and instructor (Bs credentials fall short and only qualify her to be an assistant to an instructor)
After 2 weeks of interviews, and several qualified candidates. K got the news that she didn’t get the position. Which, while disappointed, reassured me that one of the external hires must have a fantastic resume and previous management-level experience.
But thar wasn’t the case. They gave the job to B. Undercutting more than a dozen qualified candidates, including K.
My wife was beside herself. She had trained B since day 1.
K called her team leader, the same guy who begged her to stay, and asked what was going on. And all he did was get mad at her for being upset. When she asked how B qualified for the position, her manager grew stern and said, “Well, she does. I don’t know what to tell you.”
The thing is, the Training credentials are accessible to anyone in the field. We can see that she doesn’t meet the position requirements.
When K pointed this out, her manager sternly yelled,
“Listen, I can tell you are upset and I don’t want to do this over the phone. So, why don’t you think about this over the next week and we can talk more when I get back from my cruise.”
To which he then promptly hung-up.
K’s phone began exploding with calls and texts from the team, other teams and their leaders within the company, shocked and offended at this turn of events.
K later received an email from the district manager offering to meet and talk, in lieu of the team manager.
But the district manager offered no answers and told her that,
“We made our decision based on a number of factors.”
Since then, B has been shutting K out of meetings, turning younger team-mayes against her, talking poorly behind her back and setting her up for failure time and time again. And every time K brings attention to it, she is dismissed and admonished for not getting along with the new manager.
Luckily, K’s brother still had the job available and she is taking it. She is informing her current job this week that she will be leaving at the end of this month.
Is there anything she can do? Or do all of her years of hard work, dedication, and training mean nothing and she just has to suck it up that some weird favoritism is flushing her entire career down the drain?
Thanks for sitting through this long read.
Comments
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Backup of the post’s body: Throwaway account, because several people associated with this situation use reddit and I wouldn’t want this to fall back on anyone, directly.
Hi everyone,
Big fans of the show and we wanted to write in and get some advice on a pretty suspicious situation at my wife’s place of work.
I (36m) and my wife (28f), let’s just call her ‘K’, are high-level professionals in our field. We have put in close to a decade of training, education, and experience from all over the world into our careers and have stellar reputations and respect from some big to-do names in our industry.
At K’s job, a rare opportunity to move up the corporate ladder opened up. Naturally, she applied. She has been a part of this company for over 2 years, as a leader, mentor to the younger generations entering the field, and will often even take on extra work to help the team, when necessary.
K has also been attending online school to finish up her dream-degree, at the same time. We have 2 kids and spend regular time with them, on a daily basis.
About 6 months ago, K got a job offer from her brother’s company, offering her a higher salary, flexible schedule, travel plus expenses, and more. The position is not in her field, but she does excel at it.
K informed her current employer of the offer to which her team manager begged her not to take it, as opportunities would be arising at her current job, soon.
Being the loyal and passionate person my wife is, she stayed.
And low and behold, only a few months later, a rare management role opened up.
The position opened up suddenly and was a surprise to everyone, as this role is one people tend to hang on to, for many many years. The best part; K was a shoe-in.
She has the most seniority on her team, she wildly out-ranks even the current management team in terms of certifications and credentials, and she has been recognized repeatedly as an outstanding employee and team-member.
This promotion is highly coveted and so, naturally, many of the internal team and external applicants submitted their resumes.
Approximately 7 months ago, a new girl was hired to the team. Let’s call her B (25f). B is new the industry, this job being her first real experience in this field. Her degree has absolutely nothing to do with what my wife does at her job. B has earned a reputation with starting clicks and groups that shun others, and badmouth teammates and management. While she does her job well, she has created rifts between the team to the point that it feels like a mafia.
For those asking, I used to be on the same team and witnessed this first-hand, before I left to pursue my own venture and to ensure that I wasn’t going to get in my wife’s way for a promotion. My separation was proper, friendly, and I left with a glowing recommendation from both the team and HR.
B decided to apply for the management position, even though she doesn’t meet the positions listed qualifications which include:
• 2+ years of experience in the field (B got her training last year)
• Over 1 year of experience on a similar team (B only joined the team this past fall and before that was a school teacher)
• Experience a trainer and instructor (Bs credentials fall short and only qualify her to be an assistant to an instructor)
After 2 weeks of interviews, and several qualified candidates. K got the news that she didn’t get the position. Which, while disappointed, reassured me that one of the external hires must have a fantastic resume and previous management-level experience.
But thar wasn’t the case. They gave the job to B. Undercutting more than a dozen qualified candidates, including K.
My wife was beside herself. She had trained B since day 1.
K called her team leader, the same guy who begged her to stay, and asked what was going on. And all he did was get mad at her for being upset. When she asked how B qualified for the position, her manager grew stern and said, “Well, she does. I don’t know what to tell you.”
The thing is, the Training credentials are accessible to anyone in the field. We can see that she doesn’t meet the position requirements.
When K pointed this out, her manager sternly yelled,
“Listen, I can tell you are upset and I don’t want to do this over the phone. So, why don’t you think about this over the next week and we can talk more when I get back from my cruise.”
To which he then promptly hung-up.
K’s phone began exploding with calls and texts from the team, other teams and their leaders within the company, shocked and offended at this turn of events.
K later received an email from the district manager offering to meet and talk, in lieu of the team manager.
But the district manager offered no answers and told her that,
“We made our decision based on a number of factors.”
Since then, B has been shutting K out of meetings, turning younger team-mayes against her, talking poorly behind her back and setting her up for failure time and time again. And every time K brings attention to it, she is dismissed and admonished for not getting along with the new manager.
Luckily, K’s brother still had the job available and she is taking it. She is informing her current job this week that she will be leaving at the end of this month.
Is there anything she can do? Or do all of her years of hard work, dedication, and training mean nothing and she just has to suck it up that some weird favoritism is flushing her entire career down the drain?
Thanks for sitting through this long read.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
[deleted]
Is B related or married to anyone in the company?
Nor sure why you guy’s need advice here. Your wife should move off to greener pastures. It’s even higher pay. So, head off ASAP and don’t look back in the rear-view mirror. Her previous company will lose a valuable employee and pay the results accordiningly (especially since it sounds like B is not suited for her role.)
Honestly I don’t think there is anything she can do, clearly something is going on in the background she doesn’t know about and it sounds fishy. She’s doing the best thing she can do and leaving the situation because it will only get worse. They’ll figure out their mistake pretty quick when she’s gone.
This is an example of them begging her not to leave because they can use her as a work mule in her current position, but not liking her enough or her not being popular enough to get the higher level position.
She should see if the other job or any similar job is available at the other place. And definitely quit no notice in the meantime.
Companies don’t go by loyalty. They go by popularity and b.s.
I’d advise her to keep bridges and connections intact with the ‘good’ people she works with; you never know when that solid rapport can help in either direction. Will also counteract any damage B (and those behind her and this decision) may try to inflict on your wife’s professional reputation. Also, make sure she covers her ass between her pulling the plug and her final day; up to, and including, making sure that she gets copies of anything that may be important before they can lock her out.
Not sure there’s anything else she can do unless she can prove something illegal happened. It just really sucks but sometimes, people with power get taken in by charming talkers. That’s probably what happened here and it could very well be that they will regret it.
Also, I wouldn’t say she’s flushing her career down the drain or that her experience means nothing. She’s 28 so she still has a long time in the work world. You never know what opportunities will come up in the future. I would just say don’t go back to that company no matter how much they beg.
Your first priority is your wifes professional reputation. Take care of that while she exit this crap-ahow
Sounds like B is sleeping with someone higher up, tell your wife not to worry she’s better off out of that environment, they’ll soon realise that they have made a mistake in letting your wife go when B screws it up
B probably earned that position on her knees.
She she’s leaving Wednesday? I think she played it perfectly. She got a great job and she’s leaving behind a clearly toxic company. Good on your wife. It all worked out the way it needed to and here’s the lifelong lesson- never accept the counter offer from your current position. I have never seen it end well for anyone.
⬆️
UpdateMe! When this all blows up. Someone’s making decisions with their lower head. Tell her to walk out like a professional, thank people who have been allies, say a last kind word to people she’s trained or who worked for her, and (legally) remove access to everything she’s ever done for them. When they realize they need her, her time is $500/hr.
Hostile work enviroment? See if you can sue?
Look, B either got the job because they see more potential in her, is excellent at marketing herself, has shown in interviews that she may lack in the skill set, but brings other skills or another mindset to the team that give fresh insights.
And I’ll get downvoted to hell for this: or she did it the classic and bad stereotype way some women climb the corporate ladder: on her knees and in the bedroom. I’m not saying she has. I’m not saying she hasn’t. Use whatever advantage you have and if folks fall for it, more power to you. Sex sells and more than enough people are buying.
Your wife pissed someone off – younger? Your wife is extremely young – get over it won’t be the first time or last time something like this happens – the company will get their karma – probably for the best ! She should have left the first time
Fuck staying till the end of the month. Not like they can torpedo her new job when it’s her brother. Don’t do another minute of work for them.
Good for her! Move on and let the new girl fall flat on her face
Anyone else read this as a writing assignment vs reality?
Come on.. what do you want to do? Force the Company to give her the job?
Thats the name of the game and you have now learnt that if it is not in writing, then you cant be 100% sure..
This is an absolute update me.
Updateme!
The company is in trouble if they passed over and are fine pissing off a bunch of qualified workers. I wouldn’t worry about blowback, there’s a bunch of people who’ll spread the word about B that OP doesn’t have to say anything
Fuck giving notice.
Sounds like nepotism to me.
She’s better off with her brother’s company. And you will hear of the company failing later, nepotism kills companies.
Tell her not to stay the two weeks fuck them.
The fact your wife, is willing to work for the month speaks of her charater, honestly with the way she been treated she should have just left. Take a small vacation from the stress and then start at the new job.
let her leave and take the new job
BUT
tell her to keep in touch with current coworkers who she likes, so she watch the old job sink under B’s mismanagement
This is why you never accept a counter offer to stay.
More than likely, contemplating a new position and letting them know about it sunk her promotion. Companies generally see outside offers, solicited or not, as a lapse of loyalty or commitment.
Update us when they are begging for your wife to stay, dang she is as treated horribly.
Sounds like your wife is ending up in the right place and in a an improved fresh situation with a promotion. We cant explain a company’s unfair, poor decisions. It’s best for everyone to move forward and focus on the new position.
Never take that counter-offer! All it does is put you at the front of the line to be let go.
If I was her and already had another job, I wouldn’t bother showing up ever again let alone staying a whole month.
I think you can press charges. I would because not you have to worry about life long medical care. Sue his ass
She should leave on the standard two weeks notice if this is the US. Let the board of directors absorb the fallout.
You surely have a high opinion of yourself lol.
Tell her not to wait at all. Just leave.
B is blowing someone.
They didn’t want her to leave because she was the best person they had there. Who would do all their training of new employees if your wife left? Who would do everything she did? Chances are, her managers haven’t got a clue how to do her job.
Nothing she can do other than leave with her head held high, going to a new role, better pay and not stuck in a company that doesn’t value her.
If she has an exit interview, tell her to be brutally honest (she could even ask for HR to sit in on it). Maybe even leave an honest review on glassdoor 🤷🏼♀️
B knows someone or is related to skmekne. Every under qualified person I’ve ever known got a promotion because of who they knew, not because they were qualified.
Typically, when I’ve seen this happen, either there is some connection B had with upper management before she joined the company (i.e., she’s the child of a close friend of the CEO) or somehow has ingratiated herself with an upper manager behind-the-scenes. I’ve seen both, but being the child of a close friend of an upper manager was most common.
Edit: Your manager is probably mad at you for questioning it because he knows it is a B.S. promotion of B, but he is still expected to defend it somehow.
Definitely gonna need an update on this one. Your wife deserves so much better! Her job does not value her as a worker, and hey if brother’s job is a higher paying job that she excels at I’d take it! The company will reap what they sow once she leaves and they realize B actually CANT do what they need of her other than turning other workers against each other because a drama mule. Good luck to your wife on her new job! I think it’ll be better for both of you in the long run
I have a friend that was begged to interview for a position that she was covering, assured by manager that she would get the position. She did not it went to someone off the street with less experience.
Welcome to corporate America.
I’ve been in the same organization for 26 years. I’ve received internal promotions in leadership positions, and I’ve been denied. Sometimes it’s clear what the winners of the positions had over me, and sometimes it’s not clear at all. Sometimes getting the position is not just about task competence but other factors more tangentially related.
Unfortunately, this isn’t uncommon. Loyalty to a company means nothing once some reason comes along to shove someone to the curb.
Let this be the lesson learned. Your career is yours. Own it, and don’t let anyone else control it, especially with promises for the future. Take opportunities that you get and don’t worry about what leaving will do to your current company.
If I was your wife, I wouldn’t even wait. I’d hand in my resignation and clean out my desk on the same day.
I would engage in malicious compliance to the best of my abilities. If she has vacation or leave, put in notice than take the leave.
Destroy accounts, passwords, anything private. Make it difficult for people to get access to information they needed from me.
UpdateMe!
I’ll tell you why B got the job, she slept with someone with enough pull to make them give her the job OR she slept with somebody and blackmailed them into giving her the job, that’s the ONLY way this happened. Tell me I’m wrong
Nothing to be done except not show up another day. Why would she? Hope lots of others will walk too.
Update.me!
That is a clear message for her to move on.
Update me , I hope your wife leaves the company and never looks back
Management doesn’t want to tell K why B got the position because there isn’t a good reason.
This is a world where management is never your friend, and in that light K’s only mistake was to have the decency to inform her superiors that she had an external job offer. The promotion decision might have been petty revenge.
K’s best revenge will be B’s management “style” wreaking havoc on productivity.
The biggest FU to that sly manager and the charlatan they’ve put in place is her leaving and getting a better job. There must be some nepotism from what you’ve said and the fact her (B’s) results are going to speak for themselves as soon as your wife leaves and she hasn’t got someone to ask how to do everything.
It’s a damn shame after all her hard work, but without evidence and clear breaches of policy, recorded infringements and suchlike (added to being someone at top’s family member) it’s going to be difficult to get anywhere. I’d take your wife on holiday, listen to what she wants to do, and keep in contact with (only) the friendlies at work for the future. Leave with grace and show them that they meant nothing. Cry at home. Bastards.
Updateme
This happened to me at a previous company I worked at. I put in extra effort, did everything right, was a team player. And every time there was an opportunity for me to advance, they gave the position to someone else. The first time it happened the person was genuinely more qualified. But every time after that the person was a relatively new hire who didn’t meet or barely met the requirements for the position. It became clear that management was going to take advantage of my loyalty and work ethic but never actually let me move higher than I was.
Sounds like her current job has done the same. Upper management clearly doesn’t respect her. As much as it hurts, she should cut her losses and take the job at her brother’s place.
Your wife should not float another offer (her brother’s), and then turn it down based on the promise of future opportunities. The only reason to float the offer is to see if a current employer wants you enough to exceed it. Promises are worth the paper they are printed on.
The sudden poor decision making within the company is telling everyone they are on a sinking ship, your wife is smart to leave and not look back.
Something or someone has changed—or you all overlooked similar poor management as long as it didn’t affect you. Be grateful you are both outside of what looks like a bot, unprofessional, mess.
This is why you never should be loyal to a job or stick around for a counter offer. Companies turn on you instantly. It’s sick. I hate corporate America
This week is the end of the month. Is the post for real?!?!