He says he doesn’t know how to express his feelings to me without me either not saying anything (out of anxiety bc I feel like I can’t speak or sometimes I just don’t know how to say it cuz he is passive aggressive or makes jokes about it. he has directly talked about it though but I never know what to say). He also says I make his feelings about myself. I kind of do in a way but it’s not that I do it on purpose it just makes me feel bad and I don’t know how to situations
I don’t really understand because I feel like he expects me to be in communication with him 24/7. If I’m not doing anything they he expects me to be on the phone with him or text. If I don’t respond in 5 minutes sometimes or slightly longer he will ask me what I am doing or something. He said we only talked on the phone for like 2 hours for two days and yesterday we “barely talked” cuz I was with my friends and I called him late but I told him what time I’d be back. Yesterday was my fault because I could have called him in between an hour break I had before I left for friends. But any other time I give him my time like a lot of it. I let him spend the night for 3 or sometimes 4 days in my room at college. I don’t like being expected to talk to my partner 24/7. I’m not saying I wouldn’t text at all in the day but frequent contact feels like a lot. When he told me this I didn’t really say anything all I said was the way he addresses is makes it hard to talk about it but he was like “good that’s the point because that’s how I feel daily”. Then he half jokingly went “I’ll just keep my feelings to myself like always bc u never say anything”. I don’t mind it as I have called him for a whole day/night multiple times but I don’t like that it’s expected like everyday I feel like at all. He says he feels neglected and like a dog begging for attention.
I never know how to communicate with him about his feelings are talk about it cuz I genuinely just never know or have anything to say about it. Sometimes when I do I feel like I am going to say the wrong thing that won’t help the conversation or I deadass just can’t think of anything to say. I also just don’t know how to talk about his feelings and he says the relationship feels like it’s about me and not how he feels. Which I guess is true in the sense I suck at communicating. He always tells me to tell him how I feel regardless of anything because he wants me to be open and he wants me to be prepared if i am not with him anymore.
I feel bad because he just doesn’t really have anybody to talk to i guess and he always says I’m his world. Im his first relationship and he’s technically my first real one. He has four friends but it’s not a close friendship at all they only play basketball and he has a gc but he doesn’t really text them + they thought he died once but never checked on him. However my friends check up on me and I hang out with them. I also feel rushed to hang with them sometimes cus he wants me to talk to him. He says he gets home and thinks about me or is playing a game but has nothing to do when I’m with friends . I believe in balancing my life out with friends while in a relationship and also space as that is healthy. But I feel like he takes space as “I am tired of you right now fuck off”. He also has trauma. He doesn’t have anything to do throughout the day or really anyone. He has very few contacts in his phone. It’s not like I don’t want to talk to him bc I like his company but I also have my friends and like staying to myself here in there. I feel like he expects there to be something to talk about to all the time and constantly updating him about what I am doing because “he just likes to know” even when I’m with friends he does this when I don’t answer.
If I have to break up with him I am scared cuz he has pictures of me. Im also afraid to stop speaking to someone I am physically affectionate with because I enjoy his comfort and presences. I have some photos of him too but still and I wouldn’t do anything with them at all. Idk what he’d do or if he’d say or do something disrespectful if I ended it over something.
TL;DR: bf says I neglect him. he has said this a few times because I make his feelings about me or I never say anything out of it being hard to speak bc of anxiety or bc he jokingly talks about in a passive aggressive way. I am not sure how to address his feelings or talk about them without making it about myself even though I don’t mean to I just feel bad and I don’t know how to have a conversation about it. He also seems to want me to text/call him 24/7. He doesn’t have friends to talk to only 4 he doesn’t seem to care that much about and says I’m his world and wasn’t doing anything before me. I feel like I give him a lot of my time as I text him frequently or I’ll call him plus I let him spend the night in my room at school for 3 days and the occasional 4 then we do calls.