For context, we broke up in July 2024. He got back together with his previous ex(already has 1 child with) and she was pregnant by October 2024. We got back together in February 2025. Now, I didn’t know she was pregnant immediately into us reconciling. He has ensured me the split up was mutual, and there is zero chance they would get back together. She still lives with him and is supposed to move out after the babies(twins) are born. But he also said she can stay there as long as she wants. We only see each other a few times a month and at this point im so insecure and paranoid. I mean, he left me for her and got back with me after she got pregnant?? thats insane. The last month I’ve been distancing myself and he can tell. But any way I look at the situation, it won’t work. once his babies are born we will never see each other. anything could happen. they could get back together regardless of what he says. when she gives birth thats such an intimate time with so many feelings. but he also says she’s talked about giving up her rights (shes done that before).. I’ve always been madly in love with him and wanted nothing more than for us to be together again, I just didn’t expect under these circumstances. honestly if you were in my shoes what would you do??? the closer the due date comes the worse I feel. this situation is so messy and it’s making my chronic illnesses flair up with the stress im feeling. I don’t want to lose him but I also feel like this isn’t what is meant for me. to take care of kids he had after he left me for his ex..
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Leave – this shouldn’t even be a worry in your mind
>and she was pregnant by October 2024. We got back together in February 2025. Now, I didn’t know she was pregnant immediately into us reconciling
Why didn’t he tell you? That’s a pretty important thing to share.
>honestly if you were in my shoes what would you do???
Run.
It’s just a mess. It is not worth becoming tied up in this mess of a family he is making.
From where I am sitting, he is treating you like a mistress.
Why?
No way in hell I’d sign up for this. No. Way. In. Hell. 🙅🏼♀️
What a mess. Get outta there he ain’t worth it
Have you talked with her? Is he lying to you about them not being together? He sounds like he should be for the curb. I mean, does he know what a condom is? Do not have unprotected sex with him!
You are the side chick. He lives with her and will shortly have 3 children with her. All of your information comes from him and right now this very pregnant woman needs his attention. Walk TF away. Why is the bar always so low? Respect yourself.
You’re the mistress, not the girlfriend.
Leave. You deserve a man who is honest, loves you, and puts energy into your relationship.
He has twins on the way. He is hot and cold with both you, and his ex baby mama. You don’t just feel like you’re on the back burner, you are on the back burner. There’s simply no way that a man (who hopefully is a good father) will have time to juggle multiple children, new born twins, a baby mama he just got pregnant 8 months ago, and a relationship with you.
I am really sorry that you feel strongly about this man, and that you struggle to make the choice that will be best for your future. When he said that you’re ridiculous for feeling like a mistress, he was gaslighting you.
I am sending you love and courage to pack your bags, and get you and your baby far away. Do not be in contact so there is no temptation. You deserve someone who doesn’t just give you the last scraps of his attention. You deserve a partner who can devote himself to you AND your child (and any future children).