Never in my lfie thought I would be facing this, i don’t have anyone else to ask this so thought why not ask for advice here.
My girlfriend just confessed she cheated on me.with her senior where they work.
My hands are shaking while writing this.
I fought with my family for her for marriage.
I am a blank slate now. She was crying lot. I am just blank feel like a grenade exploded on my head
She said this has stopped sometime back and she is ready to do anything. There was no way I could find out if she haven’t told her guit made her tell me.
I don’t know what do to, she said she loves me and will do anything to be with me.
I REALLY don’t know what I should do .
Someone please help me this is my first relationship
She said working alone with him most of the time made this happen.
Please someone
I am not like this usually I am a calm and collected person, now I just can’t think
Some more info :
It was a long distance relationship
She is read to move to my city , leaving everything
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You simply break up and start dating other women.
Your gf has low character, has nothing to do with you.
Are you willing to experiment in your potential bisexuality? (57m)
Nope. You leave her. If she wants to make it right tell her to quit her job and cut complete contact. But even then that’s a hard ask
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Do you really want to look over your shoulder the rest of your life waiting for it to happen again?
Forcing her to change things and do this, or that, will never remove that seed of doubt.
It’s time to start over unfortunately. And it was nothing that you did, it was her choices.
You deserve someone who won’t even let that thought cross their mind.
She confess because somehow she didn’t had a choice. It’s also possible that her AP no longer want her anymore. You need to stay away from her first and think about your future. You can no longer trust her and it’s clear she see you as some kind of Plan B. Would you stay with someone who saw you as a backup plan ?
What should I do next?
I have a lot of work I am not able to think
I am just staring at blank screens
Is there anything I can do ?
I don’t even drink
Ours was a long distance relationship.
She called me and is saying she is ready to leave everything behind and be with me
Last time when we broke up
I was in bed blank like this for 1-2 days
I can’t do that now,
I thought my life will go normally, ive not done things to hurt others At least I would like to think so
To stay with, go to her work and get in touch with the HR office, they can both feel the pain and maybe loose their jobs
Then dump her, she’ll do it again if she sees you’re weak
If you have the boundary that you don’t stay in relationships where someone cheats (and that’s a very good boundary to have) then you need to enforce it, which would mean breaking this off. I understand how painful it is, but she has done real damage to the trust between you, which is usually fragile in a distance relationship as it is. It doesn’t sound like she’s taking accountability, but rather offering tears and excuses and rash promises instead of accepting that this was her choice and her action.
IF you insist on continuing with her, and IF she decides to go ahead with the move (neither of which I would say are good choices) then you need to be absolutely sure that she doesn’t move in with you, but that she sets up her own independent household and the two of you live separately and date for at least a year, preferably longer. You also need to be clear with her that she should only move if she wants to and not for you or the relationship that she has pretty thoroughly wrecked with her actions.
You divorce her. You should have listened to your family. They knew she was trash. She says she loves you shows you she doesn’t. Talk is cheap.
I think you need to process all of this before you make any decisions. Give yourself a minute. You’re going to have lots of questions either way, and you’re going to want those answers before you make a choice. You don’t have to decide just yet but you can absolutely take some space.
Every situation is unique, but I’d dump her in a heartbeat and go 100% no contact.
I know what the correct path is , just leave her , taht js what I would advise others to do as well.
But when shit happened to me I don’t know ,
I don’t knwo what God has planned for me
Dude you will never forget this. You are still so young that you can find someone who wouldn’t do this. She only came clean because the dudes wife found out and was probably gonna tell you. Do not waste another minute with this person, who will do it again.
Leave. That’s all. Don’t take her back, under no condition.
She made a big mistake and now has to live with the consequences. You need to leave her and move on because she is a cheater. She cheated with a married guy so marriage doesn’t really mean much to her so what makes you think that will change?
Long distance almost never works out. I’m sorry for you but I guess if it would have worked out with her affair she would have just left you.
Here is the unfortunate reality. She is afraid to be alone. However even if you did attempt to reconcile, deep down, she won’t respect you if you do. She’s begging you now, but deep down she’ll know it feins weakness if you do take her back. There’s no winning here. You’re young and you need to move on.
break up bro. you will never really forgive her. well, you might through words but never in the real sense because you will not be able to trust her the same again. been there, done that, and she cheated again. first time after a year, accepted her back then after a year again, again accepted her back but i could never trust her same again i left her in the end. (3.5years total)
Show me someone who cheated in the past and I will show you someone who will cheat in the future. That’s all you need to know.
Step 1. GET A STD TEST
That’s brutal. I’m sorry. Just end it and be done. You’ll never be able to full trust her in the future. It’s not worth it. Take it from someone who tried to restore faith in a relationship that he was cheating in. It rarely ever works out OP.
Any committed relationship is built on a foundation of trust, committment, respect and loyalty. Your foundation has crumbled. You will have a hard time ever fully trusting her again. Sorry but it’s a dealbreaker for any relationship.
My DDay was 23 years ago. The relationship was never the same.
Trust was just gone, and every time I started trusting her again, she’d do something to break it, like lie about getting a traffic ticket.
Think about if you were incapacitated… do you trust her to have your back if you can’t speak for yourself.
I didn’t. She isn’t my beneficiary or a medical decision maker for me and hasn’t been for a long, long time.
So the wife find out i guessing
I thought I would get a movie like experience
Met fell in love married
Not everyone gets this I think
I don’t even want to meet someone now. Just idk
Long distance relationships are difficult for this reason. Fortunately you’re young. You’ll both be fine if you break up.
Stop with the she’s ready to leave everything for you. She’s a cheater who needs you now because she’s been banging her boss and the wife found out. Now you playing captain save a ho. Have some self respect and tell her it’s over. The trust is gone when she’s a proven cheater.
I am truly sorry that you are going through this.
Im going to be honest… she probably confessed because she felt guilty or she didnt want you finding out through the mans wife.
I can say however
They both made a conscious decision to do it not thinking of you or his wife. Therefore, she is ready now because she realizes how good you have been to her. You seem like a great guy just based on this.
Nothing to do with what you did or didnt do. She was lustful.. I recommend couples therapy they do offer online meetings for long distance. I did it with my relationship.
It does work… but honestly sometimes i think about my bf hurting me the past. You get a bit of silent resentment. For some time- it is the worst feeling ever… comparing yourself to someone etc
Either go to couples therapy. If you have insurance sometimes they cover it if not. There are therapist for about 50 bucks. For one hour.
Give yourself a break. Do not be too sweet with her. If your calling her baby and i miss you. And blah blah- sweet talking. Shes not going to be able to sit on what she did. Thats when people actually take accountability. Forget about her moving in with you right now- dont talk about marriage. Stand on business
Set up some boundaries. Be harsh tbh. Not controlling but if you are thinking of trying to make it work. You gotta set up some rules. If she still works there. She could only talk to him for business related issues- going straight home. Idc what anyone says but limiting opposite male friends too for some time.
If you are doubting making this work. Thats okay too. To be honest physical cheating. Is a hard no. If my bf did that I wouldnt even try but thats me.
Yes people make mistakes… but how many times did they hook up. Once- twice- 3 times?
Think about it. Think about how the mans wife is done with him- she probably loved him too.
Again sorry this happened. Hope it works out in terms of you finding a solution….