Hi everyone,
I (27f) recently started doing TikTok live streams — nothing major, just casual conversations, sometimes sharing thoughts, answering questions, and having fun. I’ve only been doing it for two days, and I’ve received a few small gifts. I’m not an influencer, and I actually have a career in my field that I’m proud of. I do the lives purely for entertainment and connection, because I enjoy talking to people.
The issue is, my partner seems… off about it. He told me that people “don’t listen to what I say” and only watch me for how I look, and that most viewers are probably men. He hasn’t directly said he has a problem with it, but his tone and attitude suggest otherwise. I’ve asked him if it bothers him, but he just brushes it off or says something vague.
I don’t know if I’m overthinking or if he’s just not being honest about how he feels. I also don’t want to stop doing something I enjoy especially when I’m not doing anything inappropriate. But I also don’t want him feeling bad.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How would you approach this?
Any advice or perspective would be really appreciated.
Tl;dr; my partner seems upset im doing tiktok live.
Comments
How long have you been together? Are there other areas of your lives in which your boyfriend is jealous and/or controlling? Is he okay with you having male friends? Does he ask you not to wear certain things?
Does he watch TikTok lives? If yes, he’s probably telling on himself here.
you’re having harmless fun, and if you enjoy doing it then why does it matter? people clearly do care about what you have to say, otherwise they wouldn’t watch. he seems bitter
I also would find it weird.. its making a parasocial relationship with unknown unseen strangers because you’re “bored”. Would be different if you were livestreaming a hobby or actually busy while streamed. Better time spent finding actual friends, or doing a hobby.
Not “wrong” per say, but I also would not be too keen on a partner who engages with it.
A few questions : do you have more male or female viewers? Who send gifts? Do you use your looks to get viewers?
But more important : how would you feel about him receiving gifts the same way, having the same amount of female followers as your male ones?
What is the intent? Are you doing this for attention? Loneliness? Do you have friends?
I think it’s a bit odd. Kind of reminds me of how people use dating apps and claim they just want friends from it.
TikTok live is messed up, even though lots of people do it.
It depends entirely on the context of the live streams and your relationship dynamics.
For example, if he feels like he’s not getting enough time with you or attention, and then sees you wanting that from other people, it could cause resentment.
Like most things, context matters a lot here.
He can find it weird if he likes.
What he can’t do is make the fact that he finds it weird your problem.
(And that includes pouting or being sad or “feeling bad” to guilt trip you into stopping.)
You’ve asked if it bothers him. He said no. Believe him. And if he’s being passive aggressive, it doesn’t matter – believe him anyway (or, at least, pretend to believe him.) If he wants you to not do it, he can ask you to not do it.
And you can say no.