My boyfriend has this female friend he’s known for six years. They originally met on Tinder and hooked up — I think he said they had sex 2 or 3 times around 2019 — and I guess their relationship eventually turned into a friendship. She wasn’t his actual girlfriend or anything. He said he never saw her in a romantic or sexual way. I guess they had sex because that’s kind of what Tinder is for, but he said it didn’t work out and they just became friends.
She really bothers me. I hate that my boyfriend’s best friend is a woman he met on a dating app and slept with.
I also hate that he talks to her about us. Like, when we fight, he obviously tells her, and it just makes me feel awful that she knows all these personal things about our relationship.
But when I ask him not to talk to her about us, he gets upset and says, “She’s just a friend. I don’t understand why you’re so bothered by something that happened six years ago. And what I talk about with her is none of your business.”
So now it feels like my only options are to just tolerate it or break up with him.
What confuses me is that he says she’s a real friend to him. She has a boyfriend now, and it feels like I’m just being the one accusing their friendship for no reason. What should I do?
TL;DR:
Boyfriend has a female friend he met on Tinder 6 years ago, hooked up a few times, but they became friends. I’m bothered by their past and how he talks about our relationship with her. When I ask him not to, he gets upset. She has a boyfriend now, and I’m confused about whether I’m overreacting. What should I do?
Comments
You are definitely not overreacting. The least he could do is not get angry at you for being justifiably not okay with him telling his female friend about your relationship! Let alone they’ve also slept together! Jesus
Major red flag. Most would never want their partner “best friends” with someone they slept with.
You have two options, learn to live with it or leave. You can’t ask him to cut people out. He either does it on his own or he doesn’t.