I’m a 30 year old woman and recently started as a project manager in an IT setting. I joined together with three others in the same role, all of them men. I’m the only woman in the new group.
The department is heavily male, though the team lead is a woman. Most of the women here seem to work in admin or support roles.
From the beginning, something felt off. During the initial team meeting, our supervisor introduced all the new project managers, except me. I wasn’t acknowledged until I later asked her to introduce me properly. She did, but only after I brought it up.
What’s been bothering me more and more, though, is the way she talks about my role. While my male colleagues are described as “managing” or “coordinating” projects, she refers to me as someone who will “support the others” or “help out with documentation and process stuff.” This is frustrating, especially since I have my own project assignment and the same responsibilities as the rest. In a male dominated field, where visibility and credibility don’t come easily for women, especially for women of color, the way a manager frames your role makes a real difference.
I made sure to communicate my qualifications and past experience clearly during my (delayed) introduction, so it’s not due to lack of experience. What makes this more disappointing is that I actually made an effort to connect with her. I asked for her guidance.
I later found out that she never completed a degree and moved up the ranks over the years through internal progression. I truly respect that trajectory. But part of me wonders if there’s some underlying resentment or bias toward women who enter the company with formal academic backgrounds. In our organization, qualifications on paper are taken seriously, and I can’t help but notice that most women who’ve worked under her didn’t stay very long. The men, on the other hand, tend to remain.
Here’s my dilemma: I’ve only just started, and I’m still in my six month probation period. Clearly, now isn’t the time to confront anything. But I also don’t want this subtle undermining to shape how my peers view me, especially when it’s coming from the top. If anyone here has been in a similar situation, especially women working in tech heavy teams, I’d really appreciate your insight.
How can I make sure I’m seen as the project lead I am, without stepping on toes too early?
Comments
Women are still seen as support. In IT, women are often given the (important but underrated) documentation roles while the guys get the flashy coding roles. Women aren’t supposed to talk about their accompliments. Your supervisor may be unwittingly falling into that bias or she may be deliberately undermining you. If she says you’re “supporting the others” speak up by adding, “My support will be coordinating projects X, Y, and Z so if anyone has questions on those projects, I’m the contact point.” This way you’re not contradicting her, you’re giving additional information. If it’s an unintentional bias, she may realize what’s she’s doing and make a concerted effort to stop. If it’s deliberate, you’re setting her straight without giving her ammo against you.
You can try noting down the problematic interactions and try talking with her. If you have an HR Department that’s trustable (waits for laughter to die down), you can also talk with them and submit a copy of the documentation to them.