Navigating relationship with my own parents after staying friends with an ex they didn’t approve of.

My ex (47M) and I (26F) met in 2023 and became friends quickly. We have the same sense of humor and values in life, and have a lot of the same interests like working out, health, and coming up with business ideas. Even when we were just friends, I was cautious because of our age gap and I know how others might perceive our friendship/future relationship. A year later, the end of last year, we began officially dating. I have had a lot of bad experiences with sharing my relationships with my parents, and with the age gap and different ethnicities, I decided to keep it private until we decided to be more serious. Unfortunately, my parents have my location (have had since I was in college) and know where he lives so they noticed me going there many times a week. They asked me if we were dating, and I denied it because I wasn’t ready to tell them and I was insecure about the relationship. But I knew my parents knew.

Eventually I broke and told my parents I wanted to date him (even though we already were) and they were very angry and said that a man his age dating someone my age must only have bad intentions and wants to take advantage of me. This really hurt me but I understand where they are coming from and I might have the same reaction if I were in their shoes. But it felt like it was end of discussion. That conversation made me hide the relationship more, which deteriorated my mental state and increased my insecurity with the relationship.

Maybe a month later, my dad confronted me and asked if we have had sex, and I was caught off guard and denied it. The way he spoke to me was as if he already knew the truth, and maybe there was some comfort there. But it mostly made me more anxious and wanting to escape everything all together.

My partner and I mutually decided to split in April 2025 (dated for 6 months) because I was so stressed about my parents’ opinions and I wanted to take the time to take care of my depression, which was been an issue for about a decade. My mental state has improved in the past month, and I started seeing my ex again as just friends. We have set boundaries and I do trust him. We are sincerely good friends and bring joy to each other’s lives.

However, my mom keeps checking my location and noticed I’m going to his place every now and then. My dad asked me if we were dating again or just friends and I told him the truth. He said he just wished I told him without him asking, and I explained that I am working on not avoiding difficult topics like that anymore. It’s just really difficult because it has been a constant issue my whole life and I feel like I need to protect them and protect my fragile mental state. I really do understand where they’re coming from, but at the same time, I feel treated like a child and that my boundaries with my parents are constantly being tested. I want to prove to them I can be independent, but with my depression it has been difficult with my career path and relationship choices.

I guess I wanted to see if anyone had advice for how to have productive conversations about this with my parents and setting boundaries for the future too? I’m afraid this will continue to come up with any relationship I have, unless I know they’re “perfect on paper” for my parents.

TLDR: was in a relationship with a much older man and understandably my parents were upset, but now that we’re broken up and staying friends, I feel that my parents still don’t trust me and will never trust him. I know we both need to work on it but it’s such an emotional topic that it’s hard for me to think of how. Also, do you guys think it’s appropriate for us to continue sharing locations? Thank you in advance 🙂