I am NC with my MIL. Shes the most toxic person ive ever met in my life. I had a baby two years ago and i set a very simple boundaries after she told my 7 month old son on facetime to tell his mum (me) to shut her mouth in her passive agressive manner. I shut it down and told her dont ever speak to me via my child. I gave her 3 simple boundaries – respect me infront of my kids, stop talking about my family (my mum and dad were getting it – they’ve never even met) and stop telling your son to leave me etc. She told me ive to stick these boundaries where the sun doesnt shine, demanded money back for gifts she got her grandson including a pram (which i gave her back), told my partner my son no longer has a nana because i told her not to talk to me via my son – her words were “xxx loss not having a nana thats down to earth and real” (another dig at my family) and then told my partner she wont be told to respect me infront of my children. She then refused to speak to my partner for around a month.
Partner knows his mum is toxic and has issues with this as her behaviour is normal to him however cracks have started to show in his family as she targers mainly women and talks to them like rubbish, comments on their looks etc blackmails them. Shes talked about me for years and hes accepted it as this is who she is but when she brought my son into it was game on for me. During this pregnancy she would tell him to leave me, that he doesnt need to stay with me because im pregnant, she’d message me saying i have mental health issues (i dont), god help my kids etc. I stopped all contact with her and my child, i heard her say to my partner just send me some pictures now and again of my grandson. I told her you dont get to try and break my family up and still get to see pics etc of the kids.
Now i can already see this happening, my partner will ask to send her a picture once pur baby is here and this would be my final straw if this happens. Am i over reacting?
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Nope. She needs to have a respectful relationship with BOTH parents if she wants any sort of relationship with their parents.
Your partner needs to deal with her and not bother you about her. He can get a therapist if he needs to whine or vent about her. You shouldn’t be bothered by her. When he has to do all the emotional lifting, he’ll likely be done with her.
You need to have a talk with husband now about how NC will work with his mom. Gather evidence if need to divorce and have child custody concerns.