Nearly 4 year relationship and things have started to take a turn

Hi all,

I’ll try to make this brief. I (29M) have been together with my girlfriend (36F) for almost 4 years. When we first got together, we were staying with our parents in our home country. We had planned on getting married and having kids. I also mentioned that if we never have kids, I don’t really see the need to get married. She did not agree or disagree with this back then.

A few months into the relationship, she had an opportunity to work overseas and I did not hesitate. I had a very stable and decent job back home but I left it and went overseas with her.

I’ve been struggling to find work due to my visa issues, so all I’ve done are simple contract jobs. Some weeks I work 2 jobs back to back. Essentially, I’m living paycheck to paycheck.

A few days ago, she asked if I had any plans to propose and I said sadly I’m not in the position to, and then she starts going on about how we had plans to get married and have kids and her biological clock is running out etc.

She also says we know people with lesser who are getting married and having kids, and this really annoyed me. I started to mention all the things I do for her: I cook, I clean, I drive her wherever she wants to go, I ALWAYS put her needs and wants first, I do not want her to lift a finger if possible at all, I moved to another country without hesitating at all for her and the position I’m in is horrible (work and financial wise).

She then kept quiet for abit and pulled the old ‘I never asked you to do any of that. Don’t do it if you don’t want to.’

Now it feels like we’re just in a ‘normal relationship.’ Talking only when we need to talk, and keeping out of each other’s ways. Prior to this, we have a really nice relationship.

Any advice on how to overcome this would be greatly appreciated please.

TLDR: 29M moved overseas with my 36F girlfriend, giving up a stable job to support her career. I’ve been struggling financially and working multiple low-paying jobs due to visa issues. Recently, she pressured me about marriage and kids, citing her biological clock. I explained I’m not financially ready, listed all the sacrifices I’ve made, and felt unappreciated when she said she never asked for any of it. Now our relationship feels distant and strained.