My girlfriend [F26] and I [M26], have been in a relationship for seven years and are planning to get married next year. We’ve had occasional sex, but it feels like I’m always the one doing everything. I used to finger her and go down on her, ensuring she enjoys herself. However, she rarely touches my penis, and even when she accidentally does, she apologizes. This feels strange to me. I’ve never had a blowjob before and used to fantasize about it. After seven years, I finally worked up the courage to ask her if we should try it, but she refused firmly and told me not to force her.
any advices here?
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Is she religious? Do yall live together? There’s so many other things that may need to be taken into the context to understand why she might not give everything upfront as a woman which makes sense.
Cancel the marriage and find someone you are more compatible with. This will not be a happy marriage in the long run.
Do not get married my friend.
Its not going to improve,
In 31 and have done this journey 3 times now with 3 different women all in long relationships. Not much you can do mate shes checked out and wants a huge man to pick her up and fuck her silly
If you both want different things in the bedroom and she isn’t willing to work with you, then it sounds like you’re sexually incompatible. It’s up to you what you want to do with this, but imo it isn’t going to change.
We’re you the first guy that broke her virginity? If no then dont marry her she’s trying to manipulate you
You’re not wrong for feeling disappointed, but you can’t force her to do anything in bed if she doesn’t want to.
Relationships aren’t transactional. It’s not like if you eat her out 100 times, she’s obligated to give you 1 blowjob, no.
Sure, you can always express that you feel like sex is one sided, and that you’d like her to make an effort in that regard in order for sex to be enjoyable for both. But this is the way y’all have had sex for 7 years, and if she hasn’t shown interest in changing that, it’s probably not going to magically shift now.
At this point, you need to ask yourself if you’re okay with how things are. Wanting reciprocity is valid, but you’re not entitled to it. If it’s a dealbreaker, have a real conversation or leave. Pressuring her isn’t the answer.
A healthy sex life should feel like a shared dance, not a solo performance. You deserve to feel wanted too.