We have known each other for 4 years and been dating for 1 , we literally got engaged a couple months ago.
Me ( 29 m ) and my girlfriend ( 27 f ) got engaged a couple months ago.
Everything was good when we were dating every time I saw her it was like a new life was breathed into me .
Things were going great until a week ago she started ranting about when we are getting married.
TBH I don’t think I can get enough money for a house and all the expenses that comes with marriage in a short time.
She never worked a day in her life and has no idea how much expensive marriage is these days .
I don’t really expect her to get a job and im okay with her being a stay at home wife but some understanding of the situation comes a long way .
Now I understand that she is just excited about everything but a couple nights ago the way that she was talking and her tone really got me thinking is she really the One? It’s like I’m seeing a side of her personality that I haven’t seen to this day .
In our dating days she was excited about everything even the little gestures I did for her , even when the money was tight I threw some sandwiches together we got to a park and called it a date.
Lately things were turning around and I definitely had more money to spend on her and the things she wanted. But after that night it was like something turned off inside me . And she’s definitely changed or at least her tone has .
Growing up poor made me be very conscious about money and we come from different financial backgrounds. I’ve been working since I was 16 to afford the life I have now but if she’s going make me go bankrupt just to attend to her wants and needs I don’t think I can do it .
I still love her but if this is going to be the start of changes in her personality or if she was this way all along and I’m just discovering now , I don’t think it’s going to work .
I’m gonna talk to her and if it doesn’t work we’re going to give couples therapy a shot till we get an understanding of the situation .
Things in the bedroom hasn’t been good lately.
It’s just that I’m confused after so much time and effort I invested into her and our relationship .
TL DR
My girlfriend changed after engagement and I’m having doubts if she’s the one
Comments
Have you stopped to communicate with her about how what she says is making you feel?
Have you tried to talk to her about this and maybe make a budget?
I don’t know where you’re from, and if there are any cultural norms you’re expected to live up to, but it might be a good idea to live together for a while before getting married.
Then again, a gut feeling is a gut feeling. If you don’t feel confident with it now, before living together, things are likely only going to get harder after.
Absolutely sit her down and tell her your concerns.
This is really important to figure out now than later.
You’re not rich and tbh in this economy I don’t see how her not continuing to not work is gonna have a position outcome in your relationship or married life.
Also how in the world has she not worked at all and she’s 27? Does she live at home or what? How does she afford anything? Is this a cultural thing? I’m so confused.