I (18M) have been in a relationship with a girl (16F) for a while now. I used to smoke, around 10–15 cigarettes a week, but I completely quit for her — to be better for both of us and our future.
Recently she started hanging out with a bad influence — her friend Gauri — and one day she went with Gauri and another guy to a place and smoked. When I found out, I was hurt. I told her calmly that I had quit for her, and asked her to not go down that path. Instead of feeling guilty, she said she’d smoke a whole pack the next day. She didn’t see the problem at all.
I didn’t scream or control her — I just asked her to swear on me that she won’t do it again. That’s all. Just one promise. She refused. I felt like I wasn’t even important enough to be taken seriously.
Her family already dislikes me. They once told me to leave her completely, but I stayed because I believed in her. I believed she’d grow. I believed she was better than this.
But today, she blocked me on one of her accounts. After all I’ve done, after all the support and change I gave, she just cut me off instead of facing anything.
Now I’m completely lost. I don’t know whether I should let her go completely or still try. I want to protect her, but she doesn’t even seem to want that help anymore.
TL;DR:
Girlfriend started smoking with bad friends. I quit smoking for her, begged her to stop, and she refused. Even when I asked her to swear on me to stop, she said no. Now she’s blocked me. Feeling lost after trying everything.
Comments
Just let this one go man, you are starting a whole new stage in life and have a lot of great things ahead of you.
Don’t let this girl (or anyone else) be an anchor. Don’t try to fix people, don’t assume they will change. If someone isn’t the kind of partner you want to be with at any given time, it’s time to cut ties and find someone who is.
walk away, man. im not even going to sugar coat this for you. she’s already pulling away and i dont doubt that people around her are telling her you’re “being controlling”.
my girlfriend quit smoking five months before we got together, but i was still huffing it. eventually, she started asking for “just a hit”. The one hit turned to two, then three, then just asking for my vape/cig. it got so bad that when her friend offered a cig, she didn’t even hesitate; she said yes.
i was alarmed and voiced that. so, we made an agreement. i’ll quit cold turkey and neither of us will smoke. period.
if your partner cannot see and understand WHY this is hurting or bothering you, then she’s stopped caring about you. if she’s blocked you on social, then that’s even worse cus she’s more than likely posting not so good things about you or herself.
TLDR: walk away. if she can’t understand why this is hurting you or why this is making you uncomfortable, then she’s already walking away from u too.