This might sound small but it’s been bothering me more than I expected. My boyfriend and I don’t live together, but I stay over at his place pretty often. A couple nights ago I left a gym bag with some clothes in it, including a shirt and a pair of leggings I wore that day.
When I went to grab the bag this morning, the clothes smelled like his cologne. Not just a little either, it was strong enough that it seemed like he sprayed it directly on them. I asked him about it and he got kind of awkward and just said he thought it was cute or whatever, like marking them with his scent.
I don’t know what to make of that. On one hand maybe he thought it was romantic, but on the other hand I didn’t ask for that and it kind of weirded me out. I’ve never had someone do something like this before.
How should I bring this up again without making it a huge thing. Would really appreciate advice from people who’ve been in long-term relationships. Is this something to just brush off or does it cross a line?
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If it bugs you just ask him not to spray your clothes without asking. Setting boundaries is okay!
That’s a weird move, spraying his scent on your clothes without asking is low key territorial. Call it out gently but firmly because today it’s cologne, tomorrow it’s crossing bigger lines under the guise of cute.
Is she wondering subconsciously if he wore her clothes for some reason?
let him know your clothes are off limits, and yes he was marking his scent so that guys at the gym would know you are his.
Marking it with his scent? That’s not his scent. Strange.
It is possible that he wore your clothes.
Just tell him you appreciate the thought but would like him ask first setting boundaries is important, even with small stuff
It crosses a line. It’s one thing for him to hug you and have his scent on your clothes that way. It’s a lot different than spraying a lot of cologne on them, especially without your consent.
If he does other “territorial” things to make sure others know you are his, it’s red flags for me. Again, it’s one thing to be protective of you in a potentially dangerous situation (you two are in a bar and another man starts flirting and doesn’t take the hint you are not interested) and it’s another thing to behave that way when there are no threats (you’re attending a funeral/calling hours and he’s constantly by your side making sure he’s touching you at all times, especially around the other males who are present whom you’ve known since before him).
You’re right. On one hand it could be considered cute, just a little spray to remind you of him, if he told you he was doing it. On the other hand it is controlling behaviour and as another mentioned territorial to absolutely douse your clothes in his scent to, I assume, warn off other men. Be firm in your stance, a lot of controlling partners start off with small things at the beginning. They undoubtedly get bigger.
How is his cologne supposed to mark you with his scent? Every other guy that also bought that cologne is now gonna think you’re theirs. He should have rubbed his sweaty balls on your clothes, then you’d really be marked with his scent.
For real, though, that’s weird and makes no sense.
Maybe your gym bag and or worn clothes stink and it bothered him so he tried to cover the offending smell and didn’t want to offend you.
lol – he put your clothes on – it’s obvious. His only response without admitting that is to say he deliberately sprayed the clothes which makes no sense, however, it’s the only available lie aside from outright denial
You know what you have to do. Get hold of his phone and examine it forensically. Pay particular attention to his browser history.
Anyone else think he sprayed the clothing while doing a little spin in front of the mirror wearing it?
“Hey babe I know you meant well but please dont spray your cologne on my clothes again I know you meant well” men like straight up statements theres no need for it to be a big deal and it sounds like he meant well by it
Just remember the most important part of all relationships is communication and honesty he cant fix what he doesn’t know about
My real guess is that he was crossdressing in your clothes. I’m not sure confronting him will get you anywhere. But you can try to tempt him and ask him if your gym clothes turn him on when you are wearing them. Rub against him. His penis will not lie.