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Need help going no contact with parents who are murderers

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One-Ambassador-7221

Hello everyone,
Recently found this group while I was planning to go no contact with my parents and sibling. Long story short, am a queer man (23M) whose parents honour-killed their divorced daughter ( It’s a big shame in their culture) . So besides being physically abusive narcissists, they are real criminals ! I recently went through therapy and concluded that am gonna go no contact with them ( I already started the process before covid but then I had to go live with them during that tough time ). Am in Canada right now as a permanent resident and financially independent , and my parents are in India so it’s not gonna be that tough.
I decided on the following steps ( I got some ideas from other people who did this on this sub):
1. I’m already at limited interaction phase since several months , responding in one word answers mostly, responding at will.
2. I already deleted my socials ( Insta, Facebook and LinkedIn)
3. Unfortunately my parents have my current address , am gonna move out next month ( was planning on doing that anyway so this is a stimulant ). Also going to change my phone number.
4. I’ve their photos and ID details for the future ( if they come knocking down my door and I’ve to report them to the police )

  1. Will send a cease and desist letter probably if I’m contacted in any way after blocking them ( don’t know if it works internationally )

  2. Talk to my local police , just to convey to them that they may receive a missing persons report from them or any other family friend here.

  3. Will consult a lawyer on the legal venues I’ve to prevent them from entering canada, and also what I would need for a civil protection order in the future if they manage to come anyway. It would be better if I was a citizen for all this, but I cannot wait that long to do it.

  4. Wait for my last semester of studies to end , so that they can’t track me to my college. Never tell them about my job

  5. Already returned them all the money they paid for my education after 18 , so that I owe them nothing .

  6. Get the legal documents I need for my citizenship application ( birth certificate, police clearance certificate ) before all the shit unfolds.

My first question is :- Am I forgetting something in this list , or there is something else that I should do to protect myself? I also know that there is always a possibility they will find me ( they have friends who work for the Canadian police ). I will prepare what I’m gonna say exactly in that case and call the police directly. Also gonna get as fit as I can, in order to be able to defend myself .

Another advice I need is in regards to my elder brother, whether in my message I reveal my sexuality and the honour killing. The thing is my brother may not know about what happened with my sister ( unfortunately I was a really nosy teen who had to investigate and find out the truth ). Or maybe he knew and didn’t do anything about it. But will I be responsible for ruining his life if I was the one who told him this ?

Also giving away my sexuality might be putting myself at risk , on other hand it may help me in cutting contact as my parents are gonna consider me rotten fruit , and my brother might understand it better why I did it. Any help would be highly appreciated !

Comments

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  2. FreyasKitten001 Avatar
    FreyasKitten001

    I will say that even if you tell your brother – with evidence – narcissists are so manipulative that depending on the situation, it’s possible you still won’t be believed by your brother – or he may push the “forgiveness” argument among other things.

    I say this because my Ns spawned eight bio kids prior to getting meat hooks on me as a foster infant – and even after the male N (my opinion) murdering his eldest son, I’m still the only one who’s cut contact as deeply as possible.

    Note: I’ve faced off with every one of the living bio kids – all but one living who has kids – regarding my experiences among other things.

    Bonus? The male N is a flaming homophobe and his dead son was gay.