TL;DR: I’m 25F, in a 4-year relationship with my 28M boyfriend. I’m exhausted from emotional damage, silent treatments, and constant blame. I don’t know if he truly loves me or if I’m just stuck.
At the start, our connection wasn’t that deep, but over time, I genuinely fell in love with him, especially when he supported me emotionally and financially during tough times (though I always paid him back). That care meant the world to me, and I never took it for granted. I looked up to him and honestly, I worshipped him.
Now I earn more than him and often pay for things he wants—yet he acts like he’s done everything for me and I owe him. All I want in return is love, respect, and some basic emotional understanding.
The problem is, he’s not a friendly person, not even with me. He only acts warm around his close friends. When we fight, no matter how minor the issue, everything becomes my fault. He says things like “I don’t want to live with you anymore,” even during small arguments. I usually end up apologizing and begging him to stay, even when I know I didn’t do anything wrong, because I still love him and have no one else.
Then comes the silent treatment, which can last hours. He knows I have anxiety and that his silence affects me deeply, but he still does it, like a punishment—until he’s “over it.” Only then does he act normal again.
I grew up watching my parents fight, but still choose love and come back together, so part of me keeps hoping he’ll change. But it’s been 3 years of this cycle now, and I’m emotionally drained. When he’s calm, he can be sweet and supportive—but his anger is frequent, cold, and honestly… traumatic. I feel like I’m living with a toxic mother-in-law, not a partner.
I don’t have friends or much of a support system outside of him, which makes all this even harder. I love him, but I’m tired of begging for basic kindness.
Can someone who truly loves you repeatedly cause this kind of emotional pain? Or am I just stuck in something I need to walk away from?
Comments
You need to walk away.