Short summary; tl;dr
Guy showed interest in me then ghosted me and came back and ghosted again and im in my delusional stage where i need a reality check
Hey everyone, I (29F) met a guy, let’s call him Laval (30M), in July 2024. We actually knew of each other through my ex, but never hung out before.
Back in June, Laval texted me by mistake (he thought he was texting my ex, since my ex had been messaging his friends from my phone). I was already fed up with the situation, so I snapped and told him everything: that my ex and I were done, and all the abuse I had gone through. It felt like a release, especially since my ex had been bad-mouthing me.
Laval responded with support. He offered to talk on the phone so I could vent, gave me compliments, and checked in on me. At first, I wasn’t really interested and kept my distance, but it still felt nice to have someone consistently asking how I was doing.
By the end of July, we met in person and really clicked. Early on, Laval was amazing. He was attentive, remembered everything I said, texted daily, told me he was happy we were getting closer, even talked about the future and meeting my family. We even invested in a business together where he gave me half the profit.
But over time, he started becoming distant. He texted less often, took longer to reply, and canceled plans last minute. I only saw him maybe once every three weeks. When I brought it up, he said he was busy, but he would still send me snaps of his day to prove he was telling the truth.
Eventually, I broke things off out of frustration. I thought he would try to work it out since we had been together 6 months and had money invested, but he never reached out. After a month of silence, I broke no contact and we got back together, but this time it was more sexually charged. We saw each other more often, but after I asked “what are we?” he pulled back again. His excuse was that he needed space.
So I gave him space. Then one day he planned to come see me, but ghosted instead for two months. During that time, I never reached out or posted stories. I went through the pain alone.
Two weeks ago, I posted a story about my home country, and he suddenly popped back into my DMs like nothing happened. I played along but kept him at arm’s length. Whenever he asked to see me, I gently refused or said “soon” without setting a date. Eventually, he ghosted again.
Now, I need you guys to take off my rose-colored glasses. My brain keeps spinning with ideas like “He didn’t post stories, which means he is mirroring me to gain control,” “He doesn’t text back because he is trying to play it cool and not look interested,” and “He broke the two-month silence, which means he must have some emotional connection with me.”
I need an honest reality check because I know my delusion is at its peak. If something seems true, agree. If not, call me out respectfully. And if you have gone through something similar, please share. I could really use perspective.
How can i deal with that right now? Please help me with advice that helped you if u have been in that situation