This might sound dramatic, but I can’t stop thinking about it and I think I just need to say it out loud to someone. My close friend (shes 36/married) told me (32/married) recently that she’s pregnant, she pulled out a pregnancy test randomly and instead of feeling the joy and excitement I normally feel when someone I care about shares that kind of news… I felt this weird, deep, almost visceral reaction in my body. Like my nervous system went haywire. My stomach dropped, my chest got tight, I had to consciously remind myself to breathe.
my husband and I have been trying for a baby ourselves. Normally, I’m not a jealous or envious person. I’ve had several people recently like within the past month in my life tell me they’re expecting and my reaction has always been genuine happiness. But with her, it hit differently and I’m still trying to unpack why.
I think part of it is this strange dynamic that’s always existed between us. She tends to bring a sort of unspoken competition into our friendship. She’s very much a “pick me” type. Shes constantly trying to one-up or make subtle jabs that paint her in a better light. She is also extremely not self aware and cannot read a room. It’s not always overt, but it’s always there. And despite that, I’ve always considered her a close friend, because I try to be an adult about it. I try to look past the weird energy, accept people as they are, and choose kindness.
But when she told me she was pregnant, I felt this pang of something maybe grief? Maybe jealousy? Maybe just exhaustion from constantly feeling like I’m being compared to or measured against? I don’t know. I just know that it caught me off guard and it hasn’t left me. When I think back to the moment she told me I get butterflies, my chest gets tight, and I have to remind myself to breathe. I feel so dumb and dramatic.
I feel guilty even writing this, but I also feel like I need to get it out. Its like my nervous system thinks I am being chased by a pack of wolves the second I think about seeing that pregnancy test.
Additional context: Ive never been pregnant or miscarried.
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Backup of the post’s body: This might sound dramatic, but I can’t stop thinking about it and I think I just need to say it out loud to someone. My close friend (shes 36/married) told me (32/married) recently that she’s pregnant, she pulled out a pregnancy test randomly and instead of feeling the joy and excitement I normally feel when someone I care about shares that kind of news… I felt this weird, deep, almost visceral reaction in my body. Like my nervous system went haywire. My stomach dropped, my chest got tight, I had to consciously remind myself to breathe.
my husband and I have been trying for a baby ourselves. Normally, I’m not a jealous or envious person. I’ve had several people recently like within the past month in my life tell me they’re expecting and my reaction has always been genuine happiness. But with her, it hit differently and I’m still trying to unpack why.
I think part of it is this strange dynamic that’s always existed between us. She tends to bring a sort of unspoken competition into our friendship. She’s very much a “pick me” type. Shes constantly trying to one-up or make subtle jabs that paint her in a better light. She is also extremely not self aware and cannot read a room. It’s not always overt, but it’s always there. And despite that, I’ve always considered her a close friend, because I try to be an adult about it. I try to look past the weird energy, accept people as they are, and choose kindness.
But when she told me she was pregnant, I felt this pang of something maybe grief? Maybe jealousy? Maybe just exhaustion from constantly feeling like I’m being compared to or measured against? I don’t know. I just know that it caught me off guard and it hasn’t left me. When I think back to the moment she told me I get butterflies, my chest gets tight, and I have to remind myself to breathe. I feel so dumb and dramatic.
I feel guilty even writing this, but I also feel like I need to get it out. Its like my nervous system thinks I am being chased by a pack of wolves the second I think about seeing that pregnancy test.
Additional context: Ive never been pregnant or miscarried.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
>she tends to bring a sort of unspoken competition into our friendship. She’s very much a “pick me” type. Shes constantly trying to one-up or make subtle jabs that paint her in a better light.
I think that’s why. It sounds like it might be time to distance yourself from this “friend” for your own mental health. I know you know this, but if she’s making everything into a competition, she is massively insecure.
As someone who has experienced infertility for over a decade… it’s a lot.
Your feelings are valid. It’s good that you’re recognizing them. Pay attention to them. Learn what they are and how they feel. Allow yourself to feel them. Take care of yourself.
I still have a bit of that feeling that I’m being “dumb and dramatic”, even though i know I’m nit. This is legitimately the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through.
Are either of you even mature enough to be having children?