Nobody in my life knows this happened.
This guy is a total creep in general, and he made it well known that he wanted to sleep with me. I have some trauma-related issues and find it inexplicably difficult to push away sexual advances and cut people off when they cross sexual boundaries. I’m actively working on this right now, and feel extremely lucky I haven’t ended up in a more dangerous situation. So when all this started happening, I awkwardly laughed off his nasty “jokes,” him touching me all the time, the gross looks he’d give me and comments on my body. I made it pretty clear that I was NOT reciprocating, but I didn’t look him in the eyes and tell him to get the fuck away from me either.
Then one day, he brought me over to “show me a meme,” and he super nonchalantly opens his camera roll and intentionally taps the most recent pictures—close up shots of his dick. He scrolls through them very slowly and intentionally, humming and not even acknowledging it as if it were all very casual. Then just scrolls on over to some dumbass picture. Absolutely disgusting.
I wish I’d reported him or at least REACTED. It was so gd egregious, he did it in a room full of people. I could’ve yelled or grabbed his phone and taken it straight to my managers and he’d have been done for right then and there (I’ve got a good manager who have protected me instantly and is intimidating enough that he 100% would have been able to make creepy guy admit that he did it).
But instead I just went about my life as normal and now I feel so ashamed??? Like how pathetic is it that a dude acted so disgusting towards me and I was over here joking around with him for MONTHS afterwards?? Plus now there’s zero way to prove it so it’s most likely that we’ll just get separated and everyone will know something weird happened.
I’m also attached to a certain team with him (it’s really just a duo, only us) and I DESPERATELY want to request that someone else be assigned to it, but once again that’s going to raise questions with my manager so it doesn’t look like I’m just trying to get out of some work. So I’ll have to admit that it’s because I don’t want to work with him…which will obviously raise eyebrows. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Comments
You need to tell someone. With him being so bold, I would be shocked if this doesn’t escalate quickly.
If you feel comfortable with your manager and think that they’ll have your back, just request to not work with this guy. Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed. The guy you described pushes limits to see how much they can get away with stuff, but you can always break that chain. At the end of the day the guy makes you uncomfortable. You can even just say that. That should be enough. I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope you know that people would support you in this situation. Hope things get better for you.