Been on three dates and I really do like this guy and he likes me. Our dates have been just movies and dinner and a little making out in the car and that’s it.
For date four he wants to come spend the night and I’m nervous for a few reasons:
1-I may be 26 but I’m inexperienced. I told him this and told him I wanted to keep things slow. I know what spend the night usually entails and didn’t want him to be disappointed.
2- currently im going all out. Best outfits. Best makeup I can do. Basically putting 100% effort into my appearance. When I go to bed I strip off all that makeup and my complexion isn’t the best, I fought with cystic acne as a teen so my skin is a little mottled with scars. I’m just not sure I’m ready on date four for this guy to see me so..exposed.
3-I get a little stressed hosting things at my home. I think it’s like my home is my sacred place where I can be vulnerable and I rarely ever have someone over. Like the last guy I dated I went to his place because I didn’t like people in my house.
So what do? I don’t want to come off like I don’t like him. Like can I suggest movie at my place with no presumption of him staying over? Just test the waters a bit?
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You can explain it to him that this is a big step and you are not ready. Show him what you are for most part of the day vs what you are for a part of day (light makeup etc).
It doesn’t sound like you’re ready, and it’s okay to tell him that. I wouldn’t recommend a home date just yet if you think he will make assumptions.
No don’t host him at your home its too soon and this guy seems to be in a rush to get you in bed. Some word of warning there are guys out there that pump and dump. Meaning they get what they want from you in the bedroom then vanish. A big reason not to host.
Also you need to discuss sexual health before anything. He must use condoms or its no deal. Do not have raw sex with him as you may get pregnant.
STDs you do not know yet if this guy is playing the field, he needs to provide a new std test result. You do not want to pick up herpes or even HIV.
He’s moving too fast with you and seems to want sex. If he is actually interested in you tell him your not ready yet.
Be honest with him. Tell him you’re not ready. Simple. If he really likes you, he’ll understand!
Suggest Netflix and no chill
Tell him you’re enjoying spending time with him and seeing where this goes but that you’re not ready yet. I also agree with the other commentor. Some guys pump and dump and are quick to jump into bed so you don’t lose by waiting a bit. Time and his reaction will tell what his intentions are.
Your feelings are 100% valid. How long have you started seeing each other? It feels rushed.
It’s quite the jump from 3rd date dinner, movie, makeout to him asking to spend the night on a 4th date.
Regarding makeup, I would encourage you to wear a bit less. Obviously you take it off at night; any guy would expect that. But you also want to find someone who loves you for you, no matter what your skin looks like.
Bottom line, worry less about disappointing him and worry more about honoring your boundaries.
Just be honest with him and if he is a respectful guy who is seeing you as long term potential then his response will be “no problem, we can do something else” and then not mention it again and wait for you to make the move when you’re comfortable.
Do not do anything that you are not comfortable with just to please someone else.
I flew across the ocean to meet a guy from online and we really hit it off, but we were out doing stuff all day and didn’t have a quiet place to just talk and get to know each other, so on the second day he asked if we could just go to my hotel room to talk. I said nope, not gonna do that yet (I really did feel safe with him but I had to let logic take the forefront in this case) so we ended up sitting in the hotel lobby for four hours talking.
Almost 10 months later and we are still together. If he pushed me on that second day, we wouldn’t be.