Hi there, Me (25M) and my Wife (25F) have been together since High-school and were only married earlier this year. We have only been with one another since then (9 Years) and were have been each others firsts in everything. I have always thought that we were Soulmates, or that we grew enough together to become each other’s Soulmates. Recently, that notion seems to be falling apart…
Last Week, my wife came to me to talk, and she said that she’s been feeling confused a bit confused about us, and wanted to know if we married and are together because we want to be, not because of our history together and tangibles that we may share. I assured her it has not been something that I had thought of at all, as everything we had worked towards in the last five years has been for US and for myself. I stated that I have never felt manipulated in building a life together and that I have been genuinely happy with our trajectory.
I initially thought she had asked me this and was like feeling this because of her recent Mental Health, as she is not working, while I have been the only person working & contributing since the Wedding. She said she feels guilty as I am taking care of Us and our household, while she feels she is not contributing. Again, I assured her this was not the case as she tremendously improves our livelyhood when we are home and I also understand what it’s like to be unemployed and worried that your partner might be looking at you different, or that you can’t provide your full worth. I stated this was not the case between us…
This week, we talk again… She says I have been the perfect partner to her and have really stepped up in taking care of us, that she loves me to death. But lately she has been having a lot of sexual frustration & resentment towards me. She says I am not making her finish, and admitted that I never have, and that she has only recently learned this. She said that it’s not because of my looks or physique, but that something she feels is missing and the Lust is disappearing. She has enjoyed Sex with me and has initiated it with me countless times, but has never had the same ‘release’ as me, and it’s been brewing. She still loves me and everything else in our life is everything she wanted. She says she has put this in the back of her mind all this time in exchange for what we have built together, and it has been something she has tried to work on internally. But is now wanting to confirm some of these feelings and is coming to realization that it’s extremely important in marriage (as it should). I know we are each other’s firsts, and in having no experience due to being each other’s firsts has prompted the question in her head if she can remain happy this way. She asked to me really lookin within myself and to see if I am truly happy as well, or just happy because of what we have. And that there has to be things that I also am not satisfied as well within our relationship.
She says she loves me and wants to keep working with me in resolving some of these issues, but I am worried of how much resentment she may have created internally, and if it’s something we may be able to correct. I’m not sure where this may lead to. She wants make sure we come to a decision together as we do not have children and have many years ahead of us, whatever the decision may be…
I am looking for any advice on how to proceed or if any other relationships have started with similar circumstances and have been able to overcome an issue like this. Thanks.
TLDR: Newlywed Wife is confused about our marriage, and has recently told me that the Lust is leaving our relationship due to sexual frustrations for 10 years.