Location: New York My nieces (J, 21 and K, 17) lost their dad last August. He left a life insurance policy that already got paid out to them and their two younger half-siblings. He also owned a house (still has a mortgage on it) where K and the younger kids are living now, along with their mom (I’ll call her SM). SM wasn’t married to him and had left him a couple years before he died, but moved back into the house after he passed. As far as I know, she’s been paying the mortgage since then.
J was named executor of the estate. From what I understand, everything in the will goes to J & K. But now SM, plus their dad’s parents and sister, are pressuring J & K to sign papers to transfer the house to SM.
They’re saying:
- That “this is what their dad wanted” based on a note they say they found on his phone (we haven’t seen it).
- That there’s no equity in the house anyway, so selling wouldn’t make them much.
- That SM “can’t afford” to buy it herself but wants to stay there for the younger kids.
- That some of the money from a sale would have to go to the grandparents for “debts” they paid off (no proof of this either).
They’ve been calling and texting all day trying to get J & K to sign and making them feel really guilty. Their mom (who divorced their dad when K was very young under the age of 4) told them not to sign anything until her lawyer can look at everything the will, the estate, and these papers. This made SM and their fathers family really angry and they’re saying awful things to the girls and their mother now. Basically harrassing them and quilt tripping them.
The girls just want the drama to stop and are tempted to just sign and be done with it, but the rest of us (their mom’s side of the family) feel like SM & the others are trying to bully them into giving up the house and maybe profit from it later.
They already have a lawyer looking into this, but I just want to make sure we’re seeing this situation clearly and maybe get some feedback I can pass on to J & K to reassure them that waiting to sign anything until the lawyer finishes reviewing everything is the right thing to do, even if it’s stressful and they are dealing with this harrasment and frankly abuse from their father’s family and SM.
Hopefully this all made sense and I’m posting in the right place. Thanks in advance for any advice. Happy to answer any questions if more info would help!
For clarification: the younger siblings are also their father’s biological children, they’re J & K’s half brother and sister. SM is the mother of the younger siblings.
Comments
Why can’t SM buy the house from J & K?
What makes no sense is how did an ex move back into a house not owned by the ex ? Does live elsewhere ? If I were J (K is under age), I would consult the estate attorney to review the will and trusts (if any) and probate and do things 1) the legal way and 2) as per will not text messages
I would also ask the estate atty for referral to a landlord tenant real estate atty to have the ex EVICTED from the house, assuming they have no current legal rights to be there. If J wants to sell the house later to ex, only then can she move in legally.
I would put the assets into a Trust until the children reach 30 or 35.
SM can then pay the trust Rent while she stays in the property with the children.
J can use you or another adult as a shield until she becomes a full adult.
NY housing is limited its highly likely unless you are in upstate NY that the value of the property will increase.
>the rest of us (their mom’s side of the family) feel like SM & the others are trying to bully them into giving up the house and maybe profit from it later.
This is absolutely what is happening. The mother of K who still living in the home with SM either needs to go to the house to stay with her daughter and help mediate or move her out to get her away from these people. No good can come of her staying in the home with SM who IS actively trying to bully and guilt trip her way into a free house. Both J and K need to block and go no contact with SM and her family until J and K’s mom’s lawyer has a chance to look at the will and advise them. Repeat to them that no is a complete sentence and they should do nothing disadvantageous to them just go get SM off their backs.
Tell those girls to listen to their mom!!! Do not sign anything until a lawyer looks it over. I bet none of the statements they have been told are true. What if there is substantial equity in the house?? The note does not exist – that is true right now.
Dad’s side of the family and the SM are lying to the girls. If they were entitled to anything they’re claiming, they wouldn’t be harassing the girls, they’d file claims in the probate and do things the right way. The pressure tactics are commonly used by scammers, the goal is to get someone to the point they’ll do anything to make the harassment stop. Ideally, the girls will get new cell phones and numbers, mute the old phones and put them in a drawer to gather proof of the harassment.
Always wait for lawyer
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> He also owned a house (still has a mortgage on it) where K and the younger kids are living now, along with their mom (I’ll call her SM).
> They’ve been calling and texting all day trying to get J & K to sign and making them feel really guilty. Their mom (who divorced their dad when K was very young under the age of 4) told them not to sign anything until her lawyer can look at everything the will,
I thought SM was their mom
SM is trying to scam the girls out of the house.
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Let the lawyer handle it including getting them out and the siblings can elect to sell it if they want since it has a mortgage that needs paying off unless they can live in it and pay it. Let the lawyer for the estate explain to dead beat single mom she has no legal claims.
Your gut is correct. Absolutely do not sign anything. Get a lawyer’s firm opinion first.
Lawyer up and do not communicate anything further with any party unless it’s fully documented and shareable with the attorney. They are obviously trying to take advantage of the two young girls.
K can’t disclaim the estate or convey the property without a court order because she is a minor. So they might as well wait on attorney review just so the title doesn’t get screwed up by DIY transfers.
Lawyer up!
Sign nothing without a trusted and experienced estate lawyer/advisor
Sign NOTHING. Talk to a lawyer.
This reeks of house of dragon. The usurper is claiming something that never happened. On a side note, in got, Ned did receive a note from Robert but was thrown out by cersei.
Make Evil SM move out of the house immediately. Cut contact with Dad’s family and have them only contact the lawyer.
Protect your nieces, they are young and have already lost their father. The father who made his wishes clear in the legal documents he created with his estate attorney
Lmao there’s no equity in the house, but the proceeds of a sale have to be applied to “debts” that were not part of the probate process? Get the fuck out of here lol this is such a scam. Evict the squatter (SM), use the life insurance money to continue to pay the mortgage, figure out how much is left on the mortgage (should have been enumerated during probate) and then sell the house. With the housing market being what it is these days there is certainly equity in the house. Depending on the size of the life insurance payout, the kids could potentially buy the house outright.
A smart lawyer would be like, 1-show me proof. I’ll wait. And yeah don’t bow to the pressure of signing over. Use the lawyer to stand in between for now.
Attorney for sure. And a 21 year-old whose grieving loss of father should not have to deal with this. There are attorneys who specialize in helping settle estates. Yes you pay them out of the estate, but it’s probably well worth it. They will do a better job.
Please tell those girls to just mute anyone harassing them. Under no circumstances should they gift his ex girlfriend a free house! That is their inheritance (and half siblings, depending on the will) and it needs to be handled properly by their attorney.
I mean the step mom could sue the estate on behalf of her minor children of he didn’t leave them anything in the will