My husband (42) and I (F40) have been married 10 years, together 15. I have asked for a separation recently. Basically I feel we are no longer compatible, have little common interests etc. I’ve had a terrible time over the last couple of years with chronic health conditions (heart issues and rheumatoid arthritis) and also depression. We have 2 autistic/ adhd kids too so life’s busy and exhausting. I feel unsupported and depressed. I’ve told him on numerous occasions that I’m feeling suicidal and he just stares at me or says “that’s no good”. When I spoke to him about separation he just said “ok” and then treated the conversation like a transaction chatting about the practicalities of it etc. he showed absolutely no emotion or concern for our future. I’m certain he’s autistic although he’s not diagnosed. It’s so sad that our relationship means so little to him that he appears to have absolutely no feelings about it ending. He seems unable to communicate anything. I’m in therapy to help me process these things but I wanted to ask if ahyone has similar experiences and how you moved forward especially in regards to co parenting.
TL/DR my husband has inability to show any emotion
Comments
It’s likely he’s shutting down to protect himself from those emotions. In his situation it would feel like my life was falling apart, as I’m sure yours does too. Men, especially autistic men, can respond to this by shutting down and not engaging. I know I do this.
It will be a case of therapy for him to open up most likely, consider couples counselling?