No judgment help me save my relationship

r/

Husband 41m and I F32 have been married 10 years. We have one child together. The first year of parenthood has took a toll on our marriage and I’m not sure if it’s even worth fighting for anymore. I constantly feel like I’m being ridiculed and attacked. He tells me constantly how I’m a terrible mother and a terrible wife. Calls me names compares me to other people tells me im crazy. Constantly tells me he wants a divorce and I try so hard to keep my composure. Today i had enough and when he started name calling I started right back. Know I’m left feeling like a sorry sob. How does he treat me like this everyday and not feel any remorse for his actions. I don’t want our child to grow up in this toxic environment. I beg him to change and for us to work on it together but after a few months it’s right back to where we started. I’ve begged to go to marriage counseling and he out right refuses. I’m so lost 😞10 years and we never had any issues like this untill we had our child. I understand this is a stressful time in our lives but to be so cruel and hateful how can you love someone and say such cold heartless things. Maybe I just needed to vent. Should i just give up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated 💔 I’m so tierd ofbeing mocked and ridiculed EVERY SINGLE DAY. Someone judge the situation what can I do to work past this

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  1. gingerlorax Avatar

    Your husband is emotionally abusive, there is nothing you can do to change that or work on things, only he can go to therapy, recognize his behavior and try to change- he refuses, so the only thing you can do is leave.

  2. IcePlanetGoth Avatar

    Your husband is abusive. Unless he realizes he’s wrong and works to change himself, the relationship is doomed. It’s really common for abusers to wait until they think you can’t escape and then reveal their true self.

  3. No_Buy_2133 Avatar

    It sounds like he is a narcissist and now that he feels like he has you trapped well enough with a baby he’s letting to curtain fall to reveal who he is. I use the phrase “he feels like he has you trapped” loosely because narcissists don’t seem to consciously process their actions. Instead, their conscious awareness is focused on justifying their actions by making you the problem that caused it. As someone who grew up in this environment, I can tell you that it does not get better. It can get better for a year or longer if they feel like they are losing you, but the moment you’re hooked again is when the curtain drops again and it’s usually worse. Another tell sign is refusing therapy because they don’t want confirmation that they’re the problem.