I have seriously been contemplating su1c1de bc I’m so tired of struggling.
My family died in a car crash a few months ago and I have absolutely no one. I had to take out loans to have them buried that I’ll be repaying for years. I have two jobs and still can’t afford to eat. This time it’s been 5 days. I don’t think people realize what hunger does to the human mind. The cost of living doesn’t even afford me transportation for work some days. Like tonight for instance. I know it’s hard out here for everyone but fk. Between student loans and rent I’m being financially raped and I see no way out. I tried unsuccessfully to ask on my city’s subreddit to hitch a ride to an elderly woman I met at the hospital while doing my nursing clinicals I was going to loan me $30 to get to work tonight but the only people that offered to take me I wanted sexual favors but I’m not for sale. This world is shitty af man. I’ve fed people who were starving that won’t even pick up the phone for me. I’m tired of the uphill battle and I’m tired of working two and three jobs while trying to go to school and not even being able to afford dinner.
By the way I’m not asking for pity. I just needed to get it off of my chest.
Comments
Eh, fuck people.
Honestly, you’ve had a hard time, and you have my sympathy.
That being said, nobody ever said life was easy. Life is hard.
Don’t let the money issue bother you… student loans, rent, and the burial. I’m gonna be an ass, and say, let the funeral home slide, so you can eat. I highly doubt they’ll dig your parents up because you didn’t pay. Worse case, they might take a judgement out on you. File bankruptcy, and tell them you signed all the paperwork under duress. The student loans… you won’t be the only one NOT paying them. Take care of yourself, bills are just bills. You can call credit card companies, and let them know your situation, and most will work out a payment plan with you, and are usually fairly cool about it.
Stop worrying about your creditors… if you’re dead, they aren’t getting paid. Might as well live and eat, and let the chips fall where they may.
It’s not like you’re worried about losing an 800 credit score.
Just take care of yourself, eat, and try to contact these corporations you owe…explain the situation, and see if they can help. If they can’t, stop paying them, and start eating.
There’s only one em, when it comes to creditors that are trying to ruin your life, and that’s fuck’em.
I can’t tell you how to fix everything but I will mention that I’ve dealt with these same struggles minus the loss of family. (My sincere condolences)
It’s like another comment said, focus on taking care of yourself and ignore the bills if you absolutely have too. I was struggling so bad at one point that I was only paying my rent and my car payment. Everything else was racking up late fees, my credit score was plummeting, 2 of my tires on my car popped 1 day apart from each other, my dog that I’ve had since I was a child passed away, I lost one of my 2 jobs (I quit cuz the second one was shorting my checks and then trying to make it my responsibility to correct my hours for them and it was becoming too stressful with everything else going on) I was on the verge of suicide myself. It felt like one step forward was really like 4 steps back!
However, I eventually said fuck it- stopped paying everything other than my car payment, insurance and my rent. I was falling behind on everything else, but I decided I was more important than my bills or my credit score and I locked in. Started a workout routine (even tho I was fucking exhausted!) and started eating more. After 3 months I picked up a second job again and it took the rest of the year to catch up to all my bills but now I had developed a routine for myself and all I had to do was work around that. I’ve been working 7 days a week for the last year and a half since then and I’m doing great. My bills are paid and my stomach has food in it, most of the time. I have a “fast” diet tho. I eat maybe once or twice a day and I just eat really big meals and eat them very slowly so I can enjoy it.
If you have any questions or wanna talk about anything else- my DMs are open. I’m sorry you’re going through such a rough time but I promise it won’t be like that forever! Don’t give up! Keep on keeping on!
Edit: saw someone else mention that you should contact your creditors and they are 100% right! I thought “Ehh, they’ll say fuck you I want my money” but I called each one and explained to them my financial situation but also explained to them that I plan on paying them, it’s just gunna take some time and if we could work something out. EVERY ONE OF THEM worked with me and some even pushed back my dates to help avoid future late fees. Just from my experience tho. Hope it’s the same for you 💪
The student loans can fuck right off, and pay the burial loan $20-50 a month, till you can get into a better situation. Explain that to them, you’ll pay what you can when you can.
I know things are hard right now, I’ve been in the same shoes believe it or not… take it day by day. Reach out to city assistance programs, church and other charity programs.
I really am sorry for your loss!
I’m not familiar with student loans. Can you call someone and ask for a hardship waver or a break until you can catch your breath?
I do agree with letting the loans for the funeral go. I know a credit score is sometimes a big deal. But really you need a break!
It sounds like your going into the medical field, you know what not eating and stress can do to a body!
And we need good medical staff..
So please take care of yourself!
Life is hard! But it’s also worth living and you are set to make a huge difference in someone’s life one day! And if you’re not around who will be there to make that difference?
You are needed! You are worth taking care of!!
Hey, can you post your PayPal? What if everyone gives a few dollars.
I’m so sorry about your family. No one should have to shoulder such a thing by themselves.
Are there any food pantries or cupboards that you can walk to? Soup kitchen maybe? Churches usually have programs like that. Does your school have any resources for food or housing aid? Also, look into putting your loans into forbearance if you can.
First off, I want you to get suicide out of your mind, suicide is such a selfish act, like imagine that a friend of yours decided to end himself suddenly, how would you feel, if you commit suicide you will make other people’s lives bizarre, you will be missed by everyone who knew you and they will never forgive themselves about that they had nothing to offer you.
Try to contact some old friends from school and see if they can help you with anything, no matter how scarce they are, there are still good people in this world who would not let down someone in need, you can also get yourself into some kind of support group and see if you can mutually help each other.
I am sorry about what you are going through, and I am sorry if i and the others are not of help, but no matter what, please do not give up on life.
I wish I could claim I understand you. I can’t say I do. Just make it to the next day, or hour. One hour at time. Things are bleak, but you sound so strong. Just say, “Not today. You won’t have me today.”