It’s evening. Tomorrow is the 16th and my 42nd birthday. As usual, I’m alone. Some family no contact, flatmates and coworkers don’t care, some family send wishes and that’s all. No friends, no partner, no dinner together. Just me making a cake for myself and eating it. This year not even baking it, just assembling things because I’m too broke to buy the ingredients to bake something. And why would I? Just to eat it as breakfast for the next few days? That’s all that there is.
Isn’t a birthday the time when people celebrate that you were born, that you are here, and wish that you’ll be here for a long time? I’m just here crying. No one cares about me. It should have been a happy day to look forward to but I’m just here clinging to my last day as 41 years old.
Everbody complains about being old and getting old, nobody wants to live life and dance and do skateboard and have fun, ageing now it’s seen as a bad thing. I’m alone in wanting to live. But does it matters? I’m alone anyway.
I used to celebrate at 11:11 sharp since childhood because I was told I was born at that hour, 11 is my favourite number, then an abusive parent ruined it by claiming that the hour is different. I want it to be 11:11 so tomorrow I’ll fake it knowing that I’ll never ever again have the joy of waiting for that magical moment.
But does it matter? I could be dead for all that people care about my birthday. I’ll blow the candles, pretend it’s normal, and spend the rest of the day alone doing nothing, as usual.
Comments
i care, do something nice for yourself, you deserve it. Have a happy birthday, i wish i could share some cake with you 💚
First and foremost, Happy Birthday! 🌸🎂It definitely sounds like a lot of underlying mental trauma. Very rude of your roommates to not at least say Happy Birthday. Can you maybe do a free or low cost activity? I would give them a gentle reminder and ask if they would mind joining you in doing something. Just to hang out a little bit so you’re not all alone? I had this same issue with a friend years ago. Every year I would buy her a gift, and did she ever return the favor? Nope.
It is good that you have shared here, so that your unseen and unknown friends can celebrate with you. You are less alone than it may feel. I feel alone a lot too, but I’m never truly alone and neither are you. Today I will think about you, and I’ve set myself a reminder to think about you on your special day tomorrow, and I’ll come back here and say so. I’ve been a skateboarder my whole life and I’m older than you by a decade. Get out and ride! Even if only for a few minutes.
Happy birthday, mate! I know life feels meaningless right now, but you gotta trust us that the world is better off with you here. Do something nice for yourself, don’t rely on others. They will start reaching out when they realise you’re doing well on your own, because that’s how some people are. You’re enough. Absolutely able. Make this year count so that on the 43th birthday you will be thanking yourself for taking that step.
All the fucking best for you honestly
Happy birthday! I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. You are very much not alone. In fact, I think most adults find that they simply receive a few birthday well wishes unless they plan a more involved celebration themselves. At least that’s how it works in my social circle. In middle age, some people like to mark their birthdays by inviting friends to a party or dinner while others are happier to have a chill day. People may just assume you want a low-key birthday.
It sounds like you’d like to prioritize cultivating friendships over the next year. That will likely mean getting comfortable being the one to invite people out and plan events. It is sadly becoming a lost art, but it is the best way to get the relationships you crave. Then next year, you can throw a little (or big!) shindig for your birthday.
Happy early Birthday wishes! If you can, eat something you really enjoy, listen to your favorite music and read your favorite book/watch your favorite show in the most comfortable place you know. Because you’re celebrating Your Day.
To better understand, I will gently ask what have you done to cultivate relationships where you would have friends around that would celebrate your life events?
Have enough self-love, celebrate yourself, and show that you can be happy without them around you. It’s time to show your superpower. I wish you a happy birthday!
Oh fam. I’ve felt this pain before. Do something for you that’s just for you. That would be better enjoyed alone anyway. Go to a museum/library etc.
I spent a Christmas in total isolation during lockdown. I made myself hot chocolate watched movies and bought myself a gift. It made me feel better.
My boyfriend said something to me that hit me like a weight when I talked about how my birthday sucks last year. He said it suck because I treat it like that. My birthday didn’t suck last year. Treat yourself or let people know you want to do something for your birthday and PLAN IT YOURSELF. Happy birthday
Happy early birthday!
No I’m an adult and no one celebrates my bday. I’m
even married but I don’t celebrate his either. We’re just low key like that. Low expectations. And mostly any birthday parties I do attend are planned by the person whose birthday it is.
Tomorrow is my birthday, too! You’re exactly 10 years older than me. I’ll think of you at 11:11. You’re probably in a different time zone but I hope it’s okay. To us birthday buddies!
birthday celebrations are actually just pageantry. you can do it for yourself, in fact its my preference. if you rely on other people for your happiness, you’ll never be happy. change your perspective. it doesn’t have to focus around a meal or cake, do something you enjoy tomorrow, with the intention you’re celebrating your own life and existence. cheer up, you get to turn 42 tomorrow!
Is there anything happening in the local community that you can be part of? A small club of people who do things you like to do?
It sounds like you just need some better friends. Please do look after yourself.
And if you want to celebrate at 11:11, you go ahead and do it! Don’t let anyone else ruin that for you. It’s your celebration at the end of the day, not someone else’s.
Make a list of things you love to do (even if they’re things you do alone) and spoil yourself on your birthday as you deserve. Have a happy day.
Hey, happy birthday! Fuck the bozos.
That’s really messed up. You should go somewhere and meet some people not that I personally like that stuff but maybe you’ll have more fun at a club or bar or something
I’m sorry to hear about this unfair treatment you’ve gotten to make you dread and be down on a day you should love. Those people don’t deserve you and you deserve to be happy. Just because it seems like you may not have anyone but in reality, you just haven’t found your people yet. 11:11 doesn’t have to be ruined, sounds like that family member is an asshole and maybe tomorrow will be your lucky day to find the happiness you deserve. I understand being broke but a walk in the park or the mall doesn’t have to cost money and there are usually places that give out free things on your birthday. Don’t let anyone or anything hold you back! Do whatever you want, it’s your day, enjoy the hell out of it!!! Have a happy birthday and may it bring years more of happiness and positive vibes! 🍻
Happy early birthday! go celebrate for me! please! Live it up in what ever way you can!! HAPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY boss!
Happy birthday! Is there something that you like to do that is free?
Happy Birthday 🥳 to you, enjoy your day doing whatever you want to do that’s important to you and can be as lavish as you like ❤️
happy birthday homie!
I’m 27, and personally don’t mind the fact that less than 5 people wish me a happy birthday. I don’t like the spotlight, I don’t like people putting effort into noticing me or celebrating me. (Is this a poor self image? Yeah suppose so), but I do like not having my birthday be recognized
Happy Birthday!
Darling, you need to make some big changes in the people who surround you. Not saying you need to give up on anyone. But there are people in the world who would be thrilled to celebrate your birthday with you, and have you celebrate theirs with them. At 11:11 am make a promise to yourself that by next year, you will be in a better position with better friends and coworkers. I wish you a happy birthday.
My birthday is also the 16th! I’ll be 45 this year! Birthdays are often a weird thing for lots of folks. So just know that I’ll be sending you happy birthday wishes and celebrating you AND me tomorrow 💚
Happy birthday!!!!! While I’m angry at anyone who claims to care for you that dropped the ball, I hope you do something that makes you happy and enjoy your day!
From a birthday neighbor (I’m on the 17th :))
Happy Birthday in advance
Just celebrate your self,.. its your special day , and always make most of it..
Get up, get ready … put nice clothes on
go to your favourite place for dinner or just go somewhere nice
treat your self
make most of it..
i were youngest child growing up and my Birthday use to be like a festival, food .. people party
now i live in different country , away from my own siblings and parents and here i only get two cards
one from hubby and another from my in laws..
i was feeling sad initially but i decided not to bother or think anyone would wish me
i try to fly always somewhere for my birthday and have good time
Just remember Happiness is homemade
you create your own happy moments
enjoy yoir day tomorrow
Happy birthday, my friend. Here is to your dreams coming true this year. 11:11 is a great number. Don’t let anyone take it away from you. I’ll be thinking of you and will light a candle for tomorrow at 11:11. Big hugs! 💐
Do you have a wish list on Amazon or anything?
Happy early Birthday!!! If you can, get an oversized cupcake and blow the candles out at 11:11. You enjoy it like you did in the past. Don’t let that person take away something that you get joy from. My birthday is the day before Valentine’s Day and my family rarely celebrates it. This year 2 people remembered. I have started to just do things that I want. I go to a movie or 2. I eat a favorite meal but rarely eat. Even if no one else knows it is my birthday, I do and I try to make it enjoyable for myself. I know it sounds simple but I am older than you are and I finally figured out how I can still enjoy my birthday even if others do not. Also, if someone asks what you did for your birthday, tell them that you celebrated yourself.
I plan my birthday party every year. I turned 43 this weekend and had friends over. Birthday was an excuse to hang out, and I got some bday wishes during.
At 42 you shouldn’t but sitting in the dark wondering why no one is planning you a party. Everyone is busy with their own lives.
You are also undervaluing the people that did reach out.
You can’t set silent expectations for people and then feel disappointed that they didn’t reach them. That’s really unfair to everyone else.
If you want a party, ask for one. If you want people to hang out with you, ask them to.
You’ll drive yourself crazy waiting for people to live up to expectations they don’t have a way to know you are setting for them. Especially when the standard adult reaching out to say happy birthday is typically enough
For my birthday I always take the day off (usually the week!) but you know what? Noone throws me a party… Barely anyone wishes me a happy birthday.. I used to be sad about this when I was younger but now I celebrate me for just me and I made a new tradition for my family that everyone always gets their birthdays off to do whatever they want for them. Because im so happy that they exist, and were born, I’m so happy we all do and I always wish everyone feels special on their birthday even if it’s just a day to themselves. Happiest Birthday to you ❤️
You did great writing this and happy birthday. I am eternally grateful to Reddit for you and everyone else. Have you checked out the sub emotionalneglect? It is for adult children like you and me who came from abuse. It changed my life. I couldn’t figure myself out until August and I am 61 F.
My final thought is I am impressed that you made yourself cakes.
If you had a normal parent who remembered things like the birth time they would be crying with joy that you remembered. One of my kids does and so. Please check out emotionalneglect
Birthdays are always pressure we put on ourselves. My birthday makes me feel lonely and I dread it every year. More recent years I realised it’s about me and how I want to spend the day. Not relying on others, their time or superficial happy birthday messages. Make it a day to do something you’ve always wanted to do. Your birthday is what you want it to be. I hope you have a nice day and celebrate another year round the sun.
Happy Birthday OP!! I hope you celebrate you and that you enjoy your day. Eat your favourite cake!
No one celebrates my birthday either. If not working, I spend the day with my cat, eating cake, and spoiling myself with little frivolities.
I mean come on thats normal. We arent kids anymore, not everyone has time or care to celebrate you. You arent other people’s focus. Be thankful of the positives in your life and dont be so demanding of others.
🎂🍭🍬🍰🎠🛼🌞🎆🎈✨️🎉🎣🪁🎮🪩🪭🛍🎶📺💵
Happy Birthday!!! Do you celebrate other people’s birthday??
Op turns out we are birthday twins! Happy birthday 🤍 I know it sucks because I too relate with the post, if it makes you feel any better then I will say this, I too don’t have many friends or family to celebrate my birthday with today but you know what I am going to do? I am going to go out to an ice cream parlour which I used to go out to with my girlfriends for my birthday and eat some ice cream and celebrate myself. It’s okay to do things alone as well. Do something nice for yourself OP. Don’t wait for anyone else to do it for you🌻
I used to want people to celebrate my birthday, but they stopped when I got older. So I stopped. Then I got sad about it. One of my friends told me basically “stop waiting for other people to celebrate for you, and celebrate yourself.” And it kind of changed things for me.
Sit with yourself. Be kind to yourself. See if you can put together your own night out for dinner and drinks with some folks. Just be straight up about it – “it’s my birthday and I’d love to hang out.”
Pick a cheap wings or Mexican or burger place, go back home and listen to music or play lawn games, whatever. Maybe go see a movie and get drinks afterwards. It’s maybe late this year, but try? Or just plan for next year.
If you can’t find those people, I’m sorry. That’s incredibly hard, emotionally. But I’m also sorry to say you might not be putting in the effort to surround yourself with the right people or cultivate the right relationships.
Your friends may not throw you a party, but you should be able to invite them to one.
For what it’s worth from some no one on reddit, happy birthday. I sincerely hope you have a happy day and make a happy memory.
Happy birthday man im sorry you feel that way. I would never wish that on anybody. I hope you find someone who will love you like they should. But im 16 i dont know much but i do have a girlfriend i never talk to always grounded or fighting with her mom and its horrible makes me upset all the time i geuss i kinda understand your problem man but not really lol