My husband (32M) and I (30F) are first time parents and have a 10wk old baby at home. Due to health complications we weren’t able to be intimate during pretty much the whole pregnancy and physical intimacy always been super important in our relationship. Now the baby is out and we are cleared to go ahead again. I am breastfeeding and up in the night at least once or twice with the baby, husband is sleeping since he can’t do much to feed the baby and it doesn’t make sense to have him get up to do a bottle since I would have to pump anyways.
I’m usually pretty tired at night and do most of the child care anyway so I get plenty of physical contact, cuddles, etc. from LO during the day. My nipples are sore from nursing, I’m tired all the time, and I just don’t feel interested. The couple of times my husband has made moves I’ve tried to be receptive but often he wants like an hour long experience and I just absolutely don’t have the patience for that, especially at night when I could be sleeping! On top of that often he has been drinking or smoking pot and the experience isn’t really something that feels mutually enjoyable but more about his experience with the substances added in. He doesn’t always listen when I say something is uncomfortable and I feel like it kills the mood to be like let’s just do a quickie or I don’t want to do x because it’s not comfortable for me. That becomes all I say the whole time and really kills the mood. Even when one time I did say we should be quick it was still over 30minutes. I just get so frustrated thinking I’d rather be sleeping since I don’t get a lot of time to do that but he also feels frustrated that he isn’t getting his physical needs met. He thinks going more than 2-3 days between is too long. Idk how to help meet his needs while also taking care of myself and the baby.
ETA:
I have told him all of this. He feels like 1hr 1-2 times per week is not adequate to meet his needs and wants to look outside the relationship if he can’t get more. I feel like that’s ridiculous and he should be happy and grateful with that amount of sex.
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That’s pretty typical for you to feel that way. But his hormones aren’t going away, he can either try to suppress that and be unsatisfied, or you can match his drive and be unhappy, or you can support him sleeping with someone else until you’re ready, or you break up.
Which one is it?
My wife went through very similar with our first one. I relieved myself whenever I got that feeling/pent up. Fastforward 8 years later and we are back in sync and banging whenever. Sometimes every day, sometimes 2-3 times in a week.
It just takes time. Tell him to practice some “self love” – but also don’t be mad at him for using that as an outlet. If that isn’t enough for him, he needs to dig deep and realize he’s a father now. The needs of that baby and it’s mother come before his need to cum. Harsh, but true. If he loves you, he’ll pull through and handle it.
EDIT:
“I have told him all of this. He feels like 1hr 1-2 times per week is not adequate to meet his needs and wants to look outside the relationship if he can’t get more. I feel like that’s ridiculous and he should be happy and grateful with that amount of sex.”
Look outside the relationship… lol, lmao even. Go ahead and divorce this fuckin’ bum and make him pay child support. Time to move on unfortunately.
Have you tried telling him exactly this? You are not his sex toy OP, if he can’t respect you in bed during intimacy then he should not be having any. That’s not consensual what he’s doing during intimacy. Also he definitely can help with the baby.
Tell him this and also if you give in and do the thingy AND it takes longer just get up and leave. If he won’t make you leave then it can be considered r*pe
I think by taking on ALL baby care responsibilities you are doing the both of you a disservice. I think you can pump and let him feed and bond with his child. You are depriving him of the joys of parenthood AND exhausting yourself in the process.
If he has time for an hour long sex session then he can spend 20 minutes feeding his baby while you rest and prepare for this marathon. Goodness gracious. Every other day? You are 10 weeks post delivery…. no way you are healed enough for that much activity.
There are several things to unpack:
You have unequal burden to carry for the baby.
You need to strengthen communication or your partner needs to become a better listener
Having reasonable expectations of lust.
Stress kills lust. That’s just how it is. If you guys want sex then you need to care for eachothers needs. The man has to do what he can to relieve your stress. Why can’t you pump milk and have it in the refrigerator so he can feed the baby? Or have you considered helping you child get used to babyformula so he can feed her?
The woman in the relationship has it harder them the man after having a child. So he should do what he can to adjust to your needs. Of you don’t like his addiction, then he should consider stopping it, every women does it while they are carrying the baby so he can do it from time to time.
Lust is a habit so you need to have it regularly for it to exist. But at the same time if you are starting If awakening your lust then you need to take what you can get. It can be a quickie or oral or whatever that satisfies you both or makes you feel connected. Let go of the idea how sex should be and focus on connecting and feeling love.
INFO – Have you had a sit down conversation with him about all of this?
I couldn’t get an erection for the first six months I was so tired 😩 I don’t know how he does it
He needs to step up and help with baby duties and STOP drinking and smoking pot because at this early stage of baby care.
His needs in this situation aren’t as important as yours.
You just had a baby, and the baby takes a lot of effort and time and strength from parents, especially mothers. He can deal with his horniness on his own until you feel like it. It’s his own problem if he can’t. It’s not your fault he acts like a baby when you need your sleep and rest. From what you mentioned, it sounds like he got hands, so he can use them and not get frustrated.
OP, you are more important right now than your husband’s horniness. NTAH
Your baby is 10 weeks, give it time! Your husband is also a selfish ass who needs to be a partner and parent. NTA. He wants to step outside the marriage over a few weeks of not enough sex on his schedule?? He is not husband material and will not be supportive long term or in the face of actual hardship.
NTA, but your husband is. You had a baby 10 weeks ago, you’re sore, exhausted, overwhelmed, and just feel completely drained. Instead of supporting you and accepting that you don’t feel like having sex right now, he consumes intoxicants and ignores how bad you feel. No means no, and only yes means yes. You don’t owe him sex, and he should remember that he played a big part in bringing this child into existence. He MUST wait until you want to have sex again. And then it should be just as much pleasure for you as it is for him.
you’re 10 weeks postpartum, breastfeeding, and exhausted so low libido is normal. sex should be about comfort and consent, not his schedule. if he ignores when you say it hurts, that’s a respect problem. NTA.
This happens very often and has become a beacon for anger on Reddit so don’t let any incel sounding stuff get in your ear.
Communication is key. You have to assert your feelings so that he understands it isn’t just about him, sex is something the both of you should enjoy. If you persist against your body’s wishes, you’ll begin to build resentment against sex and if he finds out that he’s been pushing you through something you didn’t enjoy, he’ll build resentment against sex. It sucks and takes away from your ability to parent and live happy lives.
Sit him down and speak to him about your genuine feelings. Try to find other ways to satiate his need for intimacy that you would enjoy as well.
Suggest to him that if you got a 2 hour long nap UNINTERRUPTED maybe you would be more in the mood. Also, no substances. Do you think he has a substance abuse problem? He should be able to have sex without that stuff. If he cannot it could indicate a problem. My ex had NEVER had sex before me without drinking. And after he stopped he had all sorts of ED issues. Yeah, he was raped as a child starting at age 10-11 by his mom’s friends and a teacher. It took until we broke up and he went through 10 weeks of rehab before he could admit this. It f*cked him up for life. So, if your husband uses substances most of the time, there could be a reason for it
First time parents of a 10wo baby but 1 year ago made a post asking for recommendations for a car seat for a kid of 2-12mo?
Seems fake.
NTA the fact that he has this much time and energy to devote to getting himself off means he’s not pulling his weight as a parent. Gross.
this right fellas is why you never get married, just give him a hall pass and be done with it ….🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️
NTA
I took me quite a while to be able to go back to normal sex life.
It is very difficult doing it all, taking care of the baby, taking care of myself and the house. In the evening, I felt terrible that I couldn’t be there for my husband, but he understood and took care of himself, not tried to blame me for being tired taking care of our baby the whole day.
You are just at the beginning. It gets better!
But talk to him and tell him that his needs aren’t yours to fulfill and you both need to enjoy intimacy. It’s not a chore.
Good luck OP!
Nothing frustrates me more than a man so needy for sex after his partner just gave birth to a baby. Tell him to get up at night with you, help with the baby. A) I don’t care if he can’t do much with the feeding since he doesn’t have to pump. Make him get up anyway, this needs to be a team effort. B) tell him to quit the smoking and drinking as he has a newborn to take care of and he shouldn’t risk anything potentially happening to himself as a consequence. C) sit down with him and tell him to get over it, as you have a human to take care of and sex should be the least of his worries. D) grown men can jack off and move on because you do not owe him anything! Ugh this stuff makes me so upset
NTA, he doesn’t care to be a parent and only cares about his own sexual needs on top of using substances. I m really sorry but do you gain anything from having him around. You deserve so much better than this.
This makes me so sad I’m so sorry you’re dealing when this on top of the huge stress of a newborn.
You are exhausted. How could you have the energy to think about sex? Let him get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby for a while and he will understand. Baby stage doesn’t last long. But while it lasts it seems like forever.
NTA. Your NEED for sleep is way more important than his WANT for sex. Your husband is a selfish piece of shit and a sad excuse for a partner and parent. Why would you want to have sex with him?
You’re not his sex toy. You are a human being with human needs that are not being met because you are basically a married single mom. He needs to grow up.
It sounds like he needs to participate more in parenting. If you got a bit more sleep and did a few less chores because he helped out more, you might be more interested. Lots of good advice already in here but wanted to reiterate that point.
Not to be rude but if intimacy is super important in your relationship why did you guys decide to have a baby? Isn’t it common knowledge libido goes down after child birth?
Girl I was the same way. You literally just had a baby and it take times for your hormones to adjust. He needs to be more understanding
Obviously, you are not feeling desire right now! How could you? My goodness. And the servicing- that’s degrading. Nothing will kill desire like an obligatory sex. Your husband is a fool. Please show him this.
OP’s husband (and her) did without sex “pretty much her whole pregnancy” so it’s not unreasonable for him to think that maybe now there might be a light on the horizon. I don’t think there are any “assholes” here – just a couple trying to learn to navigate being new parents. Since when is it “too demanding” for a man to think that maybe, after months of nothing, there could be a bit of gratification!
So, you have two babies.
Your husband needs to grow the fuck up.
He can’t be drinking or smoking pot.
He has to take on more of the childcare and give you a break.
And you most definitely should be sleeping when you have moments.
And an hour while a baby could need you at any second. LOL.
NTA
Tell him to shape the fuck up.
ETA: If he won’t shape up, you need see the red flags and get yourself and your baby away from this asshole.
10 wks is very soon. Less than a season ago you had a baby inside you.
NAH.
You literally just had a baby, OP. Your feelings are completely understandable and your husband needs to understand that better.
I would have a very relaxed talk with him about everything you stated here. Don’t do the talk when he initiates, pick a time where things are chill and calm. If you keep taking one for the team (having sex you don’t want), so to speak, it will result with you developing an aversion towards sex with him. That could be the death knell of the relationship.
The biggest issue that couples have is getting into a habit of not doing it after the baby and letting that become the norm. Resentments and aversions develop, and then you don’t even like one another. You should pay attention to your body and you will know when you are ready to start being yourself again. Just don’t forget.
OP- get your ass back here and Edit this to include that your AH husband said he would consider stepping out- people are not aware of it till further down! Grrr
You’re 10 weeks PP, just because the doc cleared you doesn’t require you to perform 3+ times per week. Your husband didn’t birth a baby, and obviously isn’t sleep deprived like you, of course he’s horny. He needs to take several ice cold showers and let you lead when you’re interested in doing it for a few mos at least. No judgement and no harassment when you aren’t in the mood.
I’m not saying his needs don’t matter but tiny human trumps husband at the moment. You need rest and you’re not getting it if he’s not willing to chill about sex or even do a quickie or whatever.
If he’s not also dead exhausted then he’s not helping enough imo.
NTA sounds like he wants you to parent while he refuses fatherhood…
Women really describe horror stories and are very chill about it.
I often times think this is social more mining. Done by either social media tech AI or frankly by attorneys to see how juries might react in cases. Because that’s the only way so many of these stories make any sense.
We used to do things like this a lot on social media in politics. Gauging the ethics and morals of the voting populace.
Why is he drinking and doing drugs while you’re still breastfeeding?
He can’t be supportive and be sober while you are? I don’t even mean it has to be absolute!
I don’t think à male partner having a drink at a birthday or holiday party during the time his wife is pregnant or breastfeeding is doing anything wrong.
But how can this be happening multiple times? He can’t go a few months WITHOUT WEED OR ALCOHOl??? As an adult?
If you say “no” or “ow” or “this hurts” or “I don’t like this” about something he is doing to you sexually, and he persists….
What do we call that?
I’m actually asking. Because I don’t know how I spent decades being told all things like this are sexual abuse and having all the after school specials ànd all the textbooks ànd all the guidance counselors and trauma specialists and everyone the workd over saying “no means no” to now being a middle aged adult and seeing other adults think it’s totally fine.
It’s like everyone is taught on paper that no means no ànd any violation of that is rape at worst ànd horrific abuse ànd misconduct at best…
But then if anyone calls it such IRL, or even asks “hey uh, what you’re describing sounds abusive. Are you okay?” Then WE’RE THE CRAZY ONES.
Don’t procreate with addicts first of all. Ffs. Do you understand what the quality of his sperm is about to do to your child’s development? Good luck with that.
And yeah believe me I know that stoner alcoholics don’t read social or verbal or non verbal cues ànd don’t listen to “no.” I know. I know.
It’s just I was always told even when I did come forward to authorities or cops that I was at fault for not coming forward even sooner.
But I guess you’re a great mom for choosing an add it’s who doesn’t respect consent ànd has no human empathy as the father right?
And I’m the nutjob for being mouth agape devastated that he’s doing this to you?
Okay.
I don’t understand how ” he can’t do much to help” when the baby wakes to feed my husband would get him out of the bassinet change the diaper hand me the baby to nurse get me my water to keep me hydrated and producing and put the baby back when we’re done nursing? Like night feeds were a team effort yeah i was the one nursing but he was a completely valuable part of the team you nurse he burps idk why you’d wanna do it alone it’s better with help it’s miserable being sleep deprived alone..oh and when I was too tired he would watch over to make sure I didn’t fall asleep while nursing side laying. He always helped take care of our baby I never had to do it alone and took care of me. It’s no wonder that you have no libido while sleep deprived and breastfeeding
NTA and if he’s already menacing to look elsewhere, drinking and snoking well then he’s not being serious about being your husband and dedicated father and that’s a poor choice of partner to raise kids with.
all other things aside and id comment on many for his side…, but 1-2 per week with someone who wishes they would sleep instead of being there does sound bad especially with comment he should be happy and grateful tucked in.
I was pretty onside with you until the edit.
You seem to feel like you are doing him a favour by having sex with him. So stop doing the favour and let somebody else take over.
Why are you with this jackass?! Are you serious?? Of course youre NTA, but your husband is a BIG one.
Jesus Christ. I was physically still aching after 10 weeks (I had an episiotomy and an additional 2nd degree tear). My husband never once pressured or even asked me about sex before I told him that I’m ready again (after 3 months). Something is clearly not right in your relationship and I really hope that you can either figure it out together or that you’ll be able to make a clean cut. Tbh it sounds like he’s already cheating and trying to find a reason to justify it.
Your husband is being a selfish prick. Get him a bottle of really nice lube and a fleshlight and tell him to have fun solo. And if he agrees not to be a cheating prick, offer to jack him off a few times every week. It can be super hot and intimate if he will open his mind and stop threatening the relationship. Take matters into your own hands. Literally.
You need to divorce him, it could take months to get your libido back not to mention your body. He sounds like a dick and you need to get rid of him
NTA
He is obviously not pulling his weight with the new baby because he’s not nearly tired enough. A father who is all in, (even with you doing the feeding there are lots of other childcare things that dad can be doing to bond with baby,) would be as tired as you and prioritise sleep as much as you.
Biologically there is a good reason why you’re not into sex right now. You already have one infant to care for and your body is recovering from pregnancy. It is dangerous to get pregnant again so soon, so your body being disinterested in sex is a protective measure.
He is an adult, you don’t meet his needs, he should meet his needs. He has two hands. Your baby cannot fend for themself, you have to meet their needs. Being ‘cleared’ for sex at 6 weeks post partum is only part of the story. You might be physically able to have sex now the open wound from the placenta has healed, but it doesn’t mean you have to have sex.
Definitely NTA. My wife is hypersexual as fuck during and after pregnancy. But there was an in between period after birth when she was breast feeding and up at night like you said where she was just tired. Her drive wasn’t there. That’s ok. If he can’t understand that you’re better off moving on. A relationship is not a one way road where the husband dictates everything.
Girly, it’s normal to feel this way, my baby is over a year old now and I still don’t feel like I want to do anything. Husband is understanding and loving and works on my time, we’ve been at 1 or 2 per month. A man who loves you and your baby understands that baby and mom need a break and attention. He’s just a man child using and abusing you at this point.
NTA. Your husband is though. He should take care of himself if he’s feeling frisky and you are UNDERSTANDABLY exhausted. It’s gonna be like this. Not for weeks, but for months, years… that’s the reality of being a parent. Y’all need to get on the other side of acclimating to a life changing event, you know, having a child. That has to come first. If he can’t understand that you aren’t feeling 100% and he can’t help relieve that pressure… then he’s not being a good partner. And the fact he instead puts more pressure on you by coercing you into sex, well, that’s just not ok. If he can’t make love to his hand and instead needs to go “outside the relationship”, then that’s a whole other conversation that should end in divorce.
Maybe he should have thought about “his needs” before he decided to have a child.
NTA
Sex/intimacy is a connection that men need. It is wanting to show your husband he is loved in the way he wants it to be received. You don’t need to be horny to do it. It is showing you love him. Your mentality changes when you look it theough that way. He should not be threatening to go outside of marriage at the same time. You will need to come to a compromise and get back on track where yall were at. Imagine if he stopped saying I love you every day and feels he can only say it twice a week. You ok with that? Or can only spend quality time together once a wk because he doesn’t feel like it. You do it because you love each other. That you are showing up for them even when you don’t always feel like it.
if he can even consider looking outside i think it’s time for him to leave
This seems like a post I read a few months ago. How many kids do you have?
Sorry OP but your hubby is a selfish fucking asshole. I’d give him some lotion and tell him to have at it.
What?! You birth his child, your body has gone through more than he can ever imagine and this dumbass thinks that he’s entitled to sex, what a loser. So, the needs of his penis come before that of his family, has he never heard of DIY?! What you’re going through is normal, your hormones are all over the place, you’ve given birth and you’re exhausted and he’s like, ‘oh, poor me.’ I’m so sorry that he’s an inconsiderate idiot but he’s shown you who he is and personally, I’d want out, you deserve so much more and he’s not even giving you basic respect because he needs a release.
Errrr. I don’t like to be quick to say divorce but if my husband threatened me with cheating because he wasn’t getting enough sex from me after I grew a damn human for the better part of a year and then gave birth and then proceeded to FEED IT FROM MY BODY ten weeks after I pushed the baby out, fuck him.
Present him with divorce papers. You are nothing more than a wet hole to him at this point.
10 weeks is not enough to worry about, and I think it’s very normal.
If it’s the same after 6 months, check back with the postnatal experts on Reddit.
10 weeks?
Tell that fucker to read a book about postpartum (and report or three about healing, in general), learn some.patience, and go jack off for a minute while you heal.
It’s guys like this that make me wonder why any man is ever attractive to women.
If my husband told me he would be looking “outside of the relationship” to get his sexual needs met I’d divorce him. Let alone being 10 weeks pp. I’m 9 weeks pp and things don’t even feel “normal” down there yet. Sex of any kind is not on the table for my husband and me…. And he’s not pushing me for it cause he’s not a dbag.
“Outside the relationship” like an affair? That’s very different from taking care of himself and looking at porn. You are NTA. It’s 10 weeks PP, not 10 months. If it was medically necessary to abstain from sex during pregnancy, what did he want you to do?
Unfortunately it seems like hubby needs a reality check from other women. Tell him to take to Reddit and post. I’m not saying it to be rude, I genuinely think his expectations are way off.
Your husband is an absolute arsehole. That is not normal behaviour, I can’t even write all I want to write. That is not real love
I was not TA until the end of you lost me at “he should be grateful “. This isn’t how sex works.
And you have way bigger problems than sex in your relationship.
Overall still NTA. But you need to have a long and serious talk about who does what and how you find time as a couple. And no, I don’t mean sex.
NTA. Sex is difficult after kids, especially when they are still really young and require a lot of attention. As a dad, it’s the worst for you because horniness is difficult to manage with extra ppl in the house now.
However… doesn’t give you the right to an AH, drink and smoke all the time, or step out the marriage for your p Star 1-hour sessions. At some point, you gotta straighten priorities, and he does not seem willing. Don’t know about your relationship, but he does not seem to care too much about how you feel or about your child’s needs being more important to you than his sex life.
When my boys woke up, I changed diapers and even put them back to sleep on alternating schedules between us. If we were tired, it was both of us being tired. Sounds like he needs to man up a bit and get more involved with the child care. At some point, he will either slow down on pressuring fun time or be too tired to worry about it and just handle himself.
Tell him to shut the fuck up, jesus does he not know (or has no one told him) about postpartum and just the whole workload that caring for a newborn takes as a mother? I’m a guy and he’s being f’ing ridiculous
NTA Some men should not have kids. I’ve heard nurses talk about hearing men asking for sex on the maternity ward, I’ve even heard one say she walked in on a guy climbing off his wife who just had a baby that morning.
I also saw a story where a man pressured his wife into having sex too early against doctors orders and she ended up in the hospital with a very serious infection.
Sex is important but so is your health, so is your wellbeing. Pressuring someone into sex for any reason is wrong. In fact, it’s assault. Dubious consent isn’t that far off no consent.
Someone who loves you wouldn’t do that to you.
And they damn sure wouldn’t threaten to cheat on you as a manipulation tactic to get what they want.
I’m sorry it took having a baby to realize this but you’re better off without him.
He’s being so selfish, I’m beyond angry for you.
Everything you are feeling right now is so so normal. The hormones that help with breastmilk production literally stifle your libido.
When I was in your shoes, the compromise I made with my husband was that quickies would be our norm for this phase of life unless I initiated otherwise. We tried for 1-2 times per week, but it didn’t always happen and he respected me enough to not put any pressure on.
I promise it does get better though! Your body will start to feel more familiar again, you’ll get a little more sleep and your libido will eventually pick up. But for now your baby takes priority.
I can’t imagine being so desperate that I’d think about destroying the marriage after 10 weeks postpartum. We have 2 little ones and yeah, the frequency does go down for a while. It’s exhausting, and you’re changing diapers all day, so no one feels sexy (if Dad is participating, which I do, I assure you the feeling is there for both parents).
This guy is just a selfish prick. He needs to realize that him getting off is no longer the priority, and he signed up for that by becoming a father. NTA.
It can take up to a year for your body to heal, especially when breastfeeding. Who are these men you ladies are having babies with and why are they so uneducated??
This kind of post, which is so common, makes me validated in my childfree choice. This sounds awful. He can jerk off if he needs a release.
Your husband is a piece. If you can you should leave and take everything. I can tell you that he is not bluffing and will cheat. Be strategic and make sure you and your child are safe.
I’m sorry, screw this guy. To start with, it’s BS that he can’t be doing more to help you at night. He can get up, bring the kid to you, and then be the one to get the kid back to sleep. And if the answer to him feeling the need to more sex is suggest looking outside the marriage after 10 weeks, he does not care about you or the family. I’m sorry, but you’re married to an incredibly selfish and self-centered person.
Obviously you’re NTA, your husband needs to get a grip. Literally. He has a hand if he’s horny. Sex is not a need, it’s a want, and he’s putting his selfish desires above your physical and mental wellbeing, which makes him a gigantic piece of shit!
He knew this was coming. He signed up for this. Who suffered? You, because you are the one that birthed the child, and your body must recuperate. And you take care of the child.
His sexual needs are not part of the equation. What is the equation? Safe and relaxed mother and child. The father must provide this.
Sex? That does not matter. Maybe in the future yes, but not now. He does not have claim to your body. Continue saying no. Why? Because you don’t want to have sex! And that’s that! And if he can’t deal with that, then he is a weak man driven by lust.
Tell him to calm down. It took my wife years to heal.
Im cringing so hard. Smoking pot, drinking & not prioritizing you after giving birth to his child. Picked a real winner there, sis. You’re both AHs. Poor kid
NTA – what an absolutely selfish man wannabe! You need to remind your husband that it is not sex that makes a good man. He’s no better than a horny 14 year old.
How will he ever teach his child respect and empathy when he has zero.
After having my first child it was honestly probably at least 6 months before we started having sex even somewhat consistently. I felt guilty too, but the difference here seems to be that my husband never made me feel guilty and instead actively reassured me that he understood.
Same situation where I breast fed so was up much of the night while he slept and was dead tired in the evenings. Your husband needs to understand that there are periods in relationships where physical intimacy naturally slows down for valid reasons and having an infant is an extremely valid reason. They demand so much of our time and energy it’s insane for him to expect you to be as physically available as you were before.
He’s an asshole if he thinks stepping out is the solution.
Tell him to squeeze a baby out and see how he feels. Tell him to grow up, relationships are not all about sex .
Nta
10wk old baby and he’s drinking and high on a regular basis.
Is ignoring your every need about sex
Doesn’t care that sex is uncomfortable/painful
Is upset his “physical needs” aren’t being met but your physical needs aren’t being met re sleep etc.
This is a trash man. Tell him to walk his ass out the house and don’t come back.