So I recently became single. I broke up with my ex who was an asshole. For context my friend knows this. A week after we go away for the weekend with some friends. My friend hits on me quite brazenly, in a physical way. I’m taken aback as I don’t like casual hookups and he’s my friend… However for context I do actually like him. Also it’s way too soon for me to enter a new relationship which I thought would be obvious? He starts talking to me a lot more but becomes inconsistent. Then a mutual friend casually mentions he’s dating other women. So I take a step back and things fizzle out. Now however I feel like things are going to be awkward hanging out? He never really stated what his intentions were? Did he always see me as a potential hookup?
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Backup of the post’s body: So I recently became single. I broke up with my ex who was an asshole. For context my friend knows this. A week after we go away for the weekend with some friends. My friend hits on me quite brazenly, in a physical way. I’m taken aback as I don’t like casual hookups and he’s my friend… However for context I do actually like him. Also it’s way too soon for me to enter a new relationship which I thought would be obvious? He starts talking to me a lot more but becomes inconsistent. Then a mutual friend casually mentions he’s dating other women. So I take a step back and things fizzle out. Now however I feel like things are going to be awkward hanging out? He never really stated what his intentions were? Did he always see me as a potential hookup?
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Sounds like you need to actually communicate with him.
Definitely communicate with him. But at the same time, how long have you been friends? I’d like to think men and women can be friends but sometimes people stay your friend just to wait on the sidelines to try and hook up.
He was waiting for the breakup to either get in your pants or take you as his gf (could be either and hard to say), he moved in after it happened but you weren’t as warm to it as he’d have liked, now he’s licking his wounds by seeing other women.
Here’s the thing, men and women can absolutely be friends, but only when they’re not actively searching for it for some reason. Just because in your mind you were in a relationship and therefore kinda shielded from the full brunt of the additional emotions, doesn’t mean he was. IMO he was always secretly pining for you at least sexually, but we can’t confirm too much romantic interest yet. Technically there’s still a chance that he has romantic feelings but is just really immature about how he handles them so that’s what all this is, but odds are that his primal brain turned on once he saw you as available and then decided the shame of your perceived rejection is too much to continue to pursue you.
Now it’s your decision to decide whether you’re ok with this level of immaturity (some ppl are and some aren’t, not here to judge but it has to be your call), whether you think he’s actually interested in a sustainable relationship (or just wants to hookup, and if a relationship with him will even work out long term given everything you know about him and what you want for your future (which if it doesn’t work out, who cares how this goes on the romantic front, just friend zone him softly and it goes back to normal for the most part)